“Charlie, how was your summer? Mine was really good. I went to California with my dad and learned how to surf. I met this really cute boy, OMG I have to show you him.”

 “Megan slow down, I promise we’ll talk about everything let's just get our lunch first.”

 Megan and I walked over to our lunch table and saw that the guys had already started eating. I hadn’t seen anyone since school ended last June. I, of course, heard from Nolan and Megan.  I was not as close to the other guys though. Megan was my girl best friend and Nolan was basically my brother. He was the only one who knew.

 “I hate Mr.Thompson!”

 “Jake, today is the first day. Give him a chance.” I said as I sat down.

 “Not a chance, I swear my teachers suck this year. Charlie, you don’t understand, you love school.”

 I huffed at him.

 “Fine, Jake. Complain on.” 

Everyone continued with their complaints even though school had just started. Then, Megan brought up her vacation and the dreamy boy she flirted with. His name was Robin. All the guys talked about their beach trips and all the soccer they played this summer. I sat and listened for cues to laugh or smile.

 “Enough about our summer, Charlie how was yours?”

 “It was, it was something.” 

They waited for me to continue and explain everything that happened. But I couldn’t tell anyone I had chemo all summer. I was glad that the beach was fun, but I got pumped with drugs at the hospital. Nolan looked at me sheepishly, I knew this was going to be a hard secret to keep. 

“Charlie tell us more after school, I need to go to Spanish.”

 “Alright, Megan.”

 Thank god. I had thought about it a hundred times. How was I going to tell Megan? Should I take her out for the day and do something really fun and then tell her? Do I write her a letter and see what happens? Do I just tell her? I knew she would be fine. I knew she would understand but I still had to tell her. 

Nolan joined me and walked me to class. He knew my schedule had been messed up and offered to help me sort it out. They had put me in a PE class. How was the girl with stage 3 cancer supposed to take PE?

 “Hey, Coach! Can I talk to you for a quick second?”

 He side-eyed me before he nodded. 

“You may have heard this summer was a rough one for me and that I was diagnosed with leukemia. I’m not allowed to take gym, but my schedule got messed up. Can I go to the main office and get it sorted out? ”

 I let out a deep breath when the last word left my mouth. Oh no, he had pitiful eyes. 

“Charlie, I am so sorry to hear that. You can head down to the office. You are still coming to tryouts, right?”

 “Coach, I am the captain after all. I will definitely be there. ”

He gave me a sad smile.

“It’s going to be different without you but I will see you tomorrow.

 “Thank you, Coach!”

“Do your friends know?”

“Not really. Only Nolan knows.”

 “You need to tell your friends eventually, they will support you.”

 “I know I know, I’m just not ready.”

 “It’s okay, just think about it. Take care of Charlie, I’ll see you tomorrow after school.”

 I sat down in between Nolan and Megan. We  had all gone to Lil Johnny's, it was our favorite place. Across from me was Jake, Cameron, and Brendan, they were  Nolan's friends. We always sat in the same place in the booth. It was like we enforced assigned seats. 

 “This place needs work. We’ve been coming here for too long,” Cam said and picked up his worn-out menu. 

I guess he was right. The booths had red cushions with hard plastic stuff over it. But some of it had peeled back over time. Some of the lights flickered and the stools creaked when you sat down. We had been coming here since middle school though. I don’t know where else we’d go.

 “You guys only have complaints. Quiet down and decide what you’re getting.”

Everyone drank their milkshakes and stole fries from Cam and Jake. It was the first time in a while I actually enjoyed myself. I hadn’t been able to sit and laugh in awhile but I finally had a reason to. 

 “It’s getting late I am going to take me and Charlie home,” Nolan said. 

 “Okay bye, guys.” 

 Everyone waved at us and he put a ten dollar bill on the table. Nolan lived right next door, so we drove to school together. 

“Nolan, can you drive so I can rest my eyes.” 

I was really worn out. Today was the first in a while I had enough energy to get out of bed and do multiple things. I knew school would get harder and I had to rest more. 

I guess I crashed after that because when I woke up I was in my bed. Nolan always took care of me incredible. Knock Knock! It was my mom. I hadn’t seen her since this morning. 

“Hey, Charlie! How are you feeling? I almost had a heart attack when Nolan carried you in.”

 I giggled. 

“I’m okay, Mom. I was just tired. Just so you know, I am going to volleyball tryouts tomorrow. Coach asked me to help out.”

“Okay, Hunny. Have you told Megan yet?”

“I haven’t. Hopefully, tryouts will keep my plan intact."

 “Charlie are you serious? Megan isn’t stupid she’s going to figure it out and she’ll be really mad that you didn’t tell her. She’ll understand. She’s a big girl. Nolan understood, and he’s a teenage boy.”

 “Mom, Nolan is basically my brother and your son. How on earth were we supposed to keep it from him?”

 She laughed. 

“You’re right, I don’t know how we’d ever keep this from that boy.”

Nolan was great. When he found out, he was incredibly understanding and took care of me through hard rounds of chemo. Honestly, I never expected him to take it so well. Why would Megan take it any differently? I knew deep down she would be fine. She was dramatic though and I wasn’t going to make her more worried. 

 The next morning, I grabbed a bag and put my volleyball things in it. I needed to appear like I was actually going to try out. My plan was to change after school and make sure Megan sees me. Then I will go inside and help the coach make the final cuts. After all, I was captain. I was terrified of how today would go. I had to make sure Coach kept my secret and so did my teammates. All I knew was that I was going to be dead by the end of this. 

“I just don’t understand what guys see in Shelby. She’s so rude and is it really attractive to wear no clothes?” Megan said.

All the boys scoffed. They thought Shelby was hot. Of course, they did. She was always all over guys. 

“Megan, what did she say to you?” I responded. 

Megan only called people out when they pissed her off. 

“That dumb hoe called me a slut. I’m the slut, are you serious? Have you seen what she’s wearing today? Last time I checked, a scarf was supposed to around your neck not be used as a skirt.”

“Damn! Alright, continue on then.” 

This is how she always was. I don’t ever want to get on her bad side, I really needed to tell her. She would be even more mad if she knew I told Nolan before her. I was going to tell her tonight after tryouts. 

Megan waited outside the stall while I changed for volleyball. I put on my spandex shorts and a t-shirt. Thank god there was a sweater in my bag, otherwise, I would have frozen to death. I carried my sneakers in one hand and my knee pads in the other.

“Megan, are you busy tonight?” 

“Nope. Free as a bird.”

“After tryouts, I am going to pick you up” 

“Okay good, we need some girl time.” 

 Oh my god! That could have gone awfully. I put my hoodie on and sat down next to Coach.

“It’s good to see ya Charlie, you tell your friends yet?”

 “Nope.”

 He sighed looking at me. 

“Eventually, I promise Coach.” 

Tryouts were long, and with the girls that tried out, we had a chance at the playoffs. I congratulated the girls and followed them into the locker room to tell them why I wouldn’t be playing this year. I started my long speech and there were many different reactions, mainly sad ones.

 “So yeah, I’ll still be captain and I am going to be at all of the games and practices, but cancer has forced me on the sidelines.”

 “Huh?”

 I quickly turned around and there was Megan. Wait, why was she here? I told her I would pick her up. Megan’s eyes were trained on me, waiting for me to say something. But when I didn’t, she walked out of the locker room. I followed her. I needed to explain myself to her before she got really mad.

“Megan hold up! Please! I was going to tell you!”

 “When? When you were the hospital dying? When I was crying at your funeral? Huh, when were you going to tell me you have cancer?”

 “Megan I was going to tell you tonight at dinner. I have run over the conversation a million times in my head and I couldn’t come up with a good way to let you know. But I decided today it was better to just tell you. I am so sorry! I...I should have told you earlier. I should have told you when I got the diagnosis but you were in Cali living the dream and I didn’t want to ruin that for you.”

She didn’t say a word to me. She just kept her eyes on the ground this was the longest I have ever heard her be silent. 

“Why are you here anyway?” 

“I got a call and missed the bus. I was waiting for you and I decided to surprise you after tryouts. That’s why I walked into the locker room. Were you really going to tell me?”

“Of course I was.”

“Why did you tell them before me? Who else knows I thought I was your best friend Charlotte?”

“Megan you are! Nolan knows. He was with me the entire summer. He was there for the first appointment and I haven't been able to get rid of him. I told the girls because it was easier to tell them. They don’t mean as much to me as you do. I love you Megan and I will explain everything. Just can we sit down I am tired?” 

That’s how we ended up at Lil Johnny’s. We sat in our booth and I told her everything. From my first treatment to my freakout about losing my hair. I should have told her in the beginning. I never realized what kind of support and comfort I got from her. I guess I should tell everyone else. If my friends really carried about me, everything would go smoothly. I knew they did. This year would be fine as long as I learned to accept everything.