The anxiety attached to my thoughts coiled like a snake in my throat. I tried to ease my terror as I studied my surroundings. Blinding light of the sun drowned the football field, striking my eyes as if Zeus himself had hurled a lightning bolt from out of the heavens. Freshly fertilized grass scratched my wind-chapped feet. Gnats and mosquitoes swarmed the air, huddling near each other as if they were hiding from a harsh Winter's gust. The wind roared like a lion chasing a deer. I was the deer. I was the one being hunted. Hunted by my own fear of being alone. The gaze of my classmates, who were perfectly fine and enjoying the annual tailgate party we were at, focused onto my face. I tried to bring myself together as the moment that started my distress resurfaced into my mind.
“What will I do without you? You can't just leave me here, ” I said as a tear slowly trickled down my face. The screen blurred as I examined the bouncing three dots form into a response.
“If I leave, I leave. And chances are, I will. There's no changing that,” my friend, Alex, typed, in attempts to cover up her true sorrow. “Yeah, we may not see each other for a while, and yeah, I will miss Ohio, but—“ she paused, unable to swallow her words.
“But what? How will we thrive alone, all by ourselves? What will we do if—”
“I don't know,” she interrupted, trying to stay calm. “We'll just... we'll find a way. We shouldn't be scared of our own independence. We can function by ourselves.”
This moment I had been remembering was the day my friend announced that, if her mother passed a test for the Navy, they would be moving to Florida on October 1. Today was the first of October. Howling voices flooded my mind as I tried to catch my breath.
“​Alone​,” I heard, phasing in and out of reality.“​Alone.....alone....alone..​”
The voices grew faster, louder. Even louder as the time ticked on. “​Alone......alone......ALONE! YOU WILL BE ALONE!​”
My knees buckled as my body thumped to the ground. ​Silence​. Pure, utter silence was all to be heard. My heartbeat slowed to a pause as I began recollecting my thoughts. ​Was that true? I pondered to myself. ​Would I really be all alone? I have other friends, other people to keep me company. Right? ​My eyesight blurred and cleared again in five-second intervals. All of a sudden, I came back to reality. My feet were planted in the prickly grass like daffodils embedded in the Earth's crust.

Today is the day. The day she leaves me,​ I anxiously thought to myself, soon before I realized how calm I had been just minutes before when her mother had picked me up from my house.
“Emily?” she softly spoke, snapping me out of my conceptualizations. “I'm gonna get something to eat, wanna come?”
I nodded my head and followed, doing my best to ignore my agitation. I dashed across the field and toward the sign that read *FOOD STAND* in bright blue and gold letters. My hand sifted through the candy bowl that lay upon me, pulling out a bag of mini Oreos. The grumble of my stomach was silenced seconds after I inhaled the sugar-stuffed cookies.
“See, this is why we call each other 'Pig'!” she joked. Waves of laughter spilled out of us like a bucket of water overflowing. It reduced my fear, but only for a few seconds. What felt like millions of thoughts swirled around my mind. ​At least she's happy. Won't we be alone? How isn't she scared? ​I simply didn't understand her tranquility, and I was envious of it.
I shuffled my feet through the sun-kissed grass as I feasted my eyes on the pale blue sky. Misty, fuzzy clouds floated atop the highest trees. Birds of various colors, black, blue, red, and grey, cut through the delicate airspace. Planes danced nimbly throughout the atmosphere, leaving streaks of water vapor behind. The moist, stuffy air filled my lungs as I practiced my breathing exercises to bring me the composure I desired. I was in another world, an alternate universe. It wasn't long before I was dragged out of this dreamland by an ear-piercing sound.
“DIIIIIIIIIIINGGGGGG!” a bell chimed, rattling my soul.
“Stupid seniors,” I muttered.
“I thought they weren't allowed to ring that bell,” Alex remarked, vexation dripping from her lips. Silence spread across our mouths for a few seconds, until we both broke into cackles. “Wow, we're stupid. A teacher rang that bell, not a student!” she chuckled, milliseconds before I sank into an only half-serious thought bubble. ​What I'll miss most of all is our occasional stupidity. I don't want to lose the only person I can laugh about my ignorance with.
The sun crept down the sky faster than ever. As the time ticked, my apprehension grew. I darted up to the top of the field where my water bottle was positioned, sensing a panic attack coming on.
“Hey, aren't you gonna—“ Alex exclaimed, her voice fading into the distance before being fully released. All I could think about was the independence I feared becoming a reality in just a few moments. Tears gushed down my face, blurring my vision. Oxygen had been hindered from going into my lungs. The voices had returned.
”​Alone.​.” they chanted, each echoing off of one another. The volume grew exponentially. ”​Alone.......alone! ALONE!​”

I ran faster, in hopes that they would go away. They only grew louder. ”​ALONE....ALONE!​” they continued, until every part of me had been dragged into complete hysterics.
”Wait!” Alex yelled, breaking away the other voices. My body had collapsed once again. The hard ground had consumed me. ”What happened? What's wrong?” she panicked. I choked on my tears as my voice produced words that were only slightly audible.
”I'm scared,” I began, gathering my emotions. ”I don't want to be alone. I'm not ready for you to leave--” my voice broke off.
”It'll be alright,” she responded, trying to sound comforting. ”We'll still be able to text and all. Look, I know it's hard, but sometimes, you just gotta be there for yourself, y'know?” she paused, giving me time to comprehend her words. I shook my head in understanding. Suddenly, it all made sense. I didn't need to depend on others to give me the strength and joy I desired. The answers were at my fingertips all along. My own happiness could be obtained through my own self. The little sunlight remaining gleamed on my skin as I made this special point of realization. I felt ridiculous for fearing something that would later on become one of my biggest strengths: my ability of using my independent self to generate what I needed most in life. Even though I doubted myself before, I knew I could function as one. A smile quickly grew across my face, spreading onto Alex's.
”That's more like it!” she cheered. ”Now, we should probably head down to the parking lot. My mom is waiting for me.”
We skedaddled down the concrete stairs and up the sidewalk, which flooded into the parking lot. We kicked at the ground as we waited for her mother's car to appear. A few minutes passed, and a cloak of night fell atop the autumn sky. Stars were speckled across the darkened atmosphere, some larger than others. Crickets beneath the bushes chirped. The trees swayed in repetitive motions, dropping leaves along the way. My eyes focused on the vehicle heading in our direction.
”Oh, that must be her, ” she sighed, fragments of melancholy apparent in her voice. She slid into the passenger seat as we uttered our final goodbyes. The car's inside light flicked off, and I waved as I watched the figure move further and further into the distance.
”She's gone,” I said aloud. ”But at least I still have myself.”