Aneesa got up, once again, dreading the day awaiting her. She swung her legs off the bed, while she gazed around at her Polaroid wall instead of getting dressed. There was the Karachi beach, where she, along with her best friend- Zara, was grinning, both of them enjoying their trip; their jeans rolled up as they waded in the sea. There was Zara, Inaya- her other best friend, and her at their school charity fair; Zara, Inaya, and her at a soccer game, and then a picture of their friend group, all of them making funny poses and weird faces. Aneesa sighed, missing all of them intensely. She let a wave of sorrow wash over her, while she plugged in her earphones and put on her ‘sad song’ playlist. Aneesa had moved to Lahore last week, and it wasn’t turning out particularly agreeable for her. All of her friends were back in Islamabad, enjoying their junior year, while here she sat in a new city, where she knew no one, and it was difficult for her to make friends, seeing as she wasn’t much of an extrovert.

 Aneesa showered and got dressed, pulling on an unfamiliar uniform. After eating breakfast, her mom drove her to school, the large ash-gray building looking as hostile as the time they had come for a tour. She trudged to her class, her long chestnut hair cascading in waves to her waist, and plopped down on an empty seat in the first row. She took note of the people gathered in various groups, one of which seemed to be laughing at an inside joke, while most of the rest talked loudly. A teacher walked in, and droned on and on while Aneesa got lost in her thoughts. “So, please, everyone, welcome her with our true school spirit,” and suddenly everyone was turning around to look at Aneesa.

She jolted back to reality, and nervously stood up, clumsily knocking a pen off her desk.

“Hi guys, I’m Aneesa. Aneesa Raza, and I’m from Islamabad. I really like um, botany, and art.”

“Well thank you, Aneesa,” remarked the teacher, while the muttering in the class seemed to echo in Aneesa’s ears, the room feeling suddenly, too hot. The day dragged by, until recess, when a girl with pale skin and jet-black hair, with a couple of lookalikes, walked up to her and introduced herself as Rameen. Aneesa chattered to her politely, but they quickly ran out of topics to talk about.

Upon reaching home, Aneesa flung herself at her hammock and extracted her phone from her backpack. She opened Inaya’s snaps with a flutter of hope, waiting for a sad face, or even an ‘I miss you’, but instead the picture revealed itself to be Inaya along with the rest of their friends beaming, sitting at their usual spot in the school cafeteria. The next few videos were of the colorful student council ceremony, where Inaya was inducted as the Head-Girl. The last of Aneesa’s notifications, Zara sent a picture of her new shoes, opening which Aneesa’s stomach seemingly hollowed out, and realization began to set in. Aneesa began to sob, long and hard, because she had thought their many years of friendship had meant more than this, this indifference to her absence.

 Aneesa was the one who’d always patched up conflicts between Inaya and Zara. Aneesa had been there for Zara when her parents had divorced after her brother had died of cancer, leaving Zara, distressed, an only child, and a remnant of a broken family. For a couple of months after this, shadows etched themselves under Zara’s hazel eyes, while her formerly meticulously planned, dressy outfits turned drab and plain. A memory surfaced, of Zara crying uncontrollably, her head in Aneesa’s lap, while Aneesa comforted her. Scrolling through old pictures on her phone, Aneesa came across one of her and Inaya at the talent show. Aneesa recollected when Inaya’s painstakingly written play had been chosen by their class for an audition for the talent show. Aneesa had witnessed the writing of the play first-hand, for Aneesa and Inaya would meet at their favorite café daily after school to study, and Aneesa vividly remembered Inaya’s emerald green eyes, fixed at the dialogues she was writing, while her ivory-toned hand typed swiftly.

Their class had won the talent show. To celebrate, their teacher had decided to take the class for dinner, another memorable event, for after eating, Aneesa, Inaya, and Zara had snuck out to a coffee-shop nearby, at late night, and had gotten lost, for the area was new to them, and had at last been guided by a local, after which they weaved through dusty alleys and closed gift-shops, out of breath, back to the restaurant. What about their tons of inside-jokes, and their hangouts at the park? Hadn’t they made elaborate plans of which college they’d attend so that all of them could be together? Had Aneesa been that disposable?

 The weeks in Lahore, meanwhile, felt like forever. After getting to know her friends’ obvious nonchalance to her departure, Aneesa had become even more withdrawn and distant in school, and hence she failed to make any social progress. She watched from a distance, as groups of friends cracked up; while they came to school wearing matching friendship bracelets; as they talked animatedly about previous experiences.  As such, when she finally decided to join the science society at her school, she didn’t expect any friendliness from the interviewers.  Mustering up all her courage, Aneesa vowed to herself that she’d make more of an effort for school if she got selected. She handed them her portfolio, while a particular chestnut-haired girl with pretty features looked Aneesa up and down, as if sizing her up. They asked her questions that Aneesa answered confidently, until her portfolio was seized by the chestnut-haired girl, whose eyes darted from line to line. She sneered at Aneesa, saying,

“You certainly seem to have experience conducting individual science projects, but, honey, we require proof of teamwork and collaborative skills, and your profile is lacking that. Immensely.”

  “You know, working with like, friends? Assuming you have any.” She added beneath her breath.

The recent video that Inaya had posted on her social media account darted past Aneesa’s eyes, of Inaya and Zara dancing wildly at a concert of their favorite singer, Kiley Sands, whom Aneesa had introduced them to. Tears welled up in Aneesa’s eyes, and she pushed her chair back and walked hurriedly to the bathroom, where, instead of weeping, she stared at the stall door, her mind far, far away, not only in terms of time, but also, distance- the past, in the city she loved and had left.

Aneesa was rejected from the science society, which was the final nail in the coffin. After that, she retreated back into her shell, and never dared to make friends, for last time she had given all of herself to them, and when they were yanked away from her, her world had fallen apart. As time passed, she began to be bullied online and people would make rude remarks in corridors when they thought she couldn’t hear them.

 All for something she had had no control over, for her mother had very firmly announced the decision to move to Lahore, with no room for argument, after her father had died from a stroke. The loss of a father had been hard for Aneesa. That, coupled with the loss of the city she grew up in, and the people that were supposed to be there for her, changed Aneesa forever.