One snowy morning in the month of December, specifically December 24, 2003. I remember it like it was yesterday. I tell this story over, and over the thought of this constantly replaying in my head ha. Ironic isn't it.. a head… You may be confused, but you’ll figure it out.. don’t worry.

3:45pm Wednesday, December 14, 2003. It's snowing outside. I just lit my favorite candle that one of the nurses gave me last visit, it's Pumpkin Kisses and Harvest Wishes. I think it smells wonderful despite what my mother thinks, and the fact that it is winter, not fall. But, it brings a homey feel into the room that distracts from the wires and monitores. Along with my furry robe and when it rubs against your skin it feels like a soft kitten, and the sound of footsteps walking back and forth from the hallway and the hospital's loosy TV’s that I can hear from just the person next door to me. As much as I don't really “LOVE'' the hospital, the view is absolutely amazing from my room. You can even see a little far away all the couples ice skating on the ice,the kids playing, the lit up trees, and of course the last minute present shopping by the parents. And all of a sudden… *CREAK*

“Vanessa?! Are you in here? Hello?” Mrs. Clifford hollered 

“Yes mom, I’m in the bathroom freshening up, just give me a minute!” I explained while brushing out the knots out of my thick, curly, and brown hair while also humming the melody to my favorite song, and of course, my mom continued to complain about the “awful” smell of the hospital as she said it smells like death. You would think she would be used to the smell though since I've almost always been here since I was just 6 when they first diagnosed me with Cystic Fibrosis (which is a disorder that is basically damaging my lungs and digestive system.) But anyways, I just let it go because I don’t feel like arguing, and I’m pretty much used to it now. 

“Okay. Hurry up please, I want you to be ready before grandma comes by. When do you think you will be discharged? The whole family is flying in tonight, and I have to host, because once again your father is just too “busy” for his own family.” My mom continued to complain.

“Mom, you know how long this can take, the nurses said I should be out by New Years. Also, is Hudson coming today?” I haven't seen him all week. I just can't believe he hasn't visited me. He used to visit all the time. I really do miss him, he brings so much more joy to my room that can get really lonely at times.

“Hunny, you know how busy he gets with you know uh, basketball, and he's been studying super hard. He just made the honor roll for the second time this year!” She explained in a worried yet frantic tone. Of course I was a little suspicious but I just blew it off cause I knew he was just driving around town with his friends. That's all he's ever done since he got his actual license. 

Later that day….. *Knock knock* you could hear the joyful spirit in nurse Julie's voice as usual. Especially around the holidays Julie is once again expecting her 3rd child but first baby boy.

“Hey Vanessa, we have good news for you.” Julie cheers. “I think you might be able to be discharged a bit sooner than New Years!” 

“Really? that would be amazing!!” I say as I organized my med cart. I feel the warmth of my nice new sweater that aunt Carol bought me for my birthday a few months ago. Hudson has the same one, aunt Carol alway likes to have us match. “Aww'' I say as I can still smell what Carol's house smells like it's always the same her fresh baked chocolate chip cookies that smell has always been a comfort to me since I was 6 going in and out of hospitals. Now here I am 17...

“In fact… you are leaving tonight!”

“Really? I need to gather my stuff!” I scurry out of bed, and start folding my clothes and gathering my other belongings.

“Yep, I will be back to get you when your family gets here.” The nurse explained while walking out of the door into the halls that were filled with nurses trying to go home to see their families for Christmas Eve.

2 hours later..

“Nessa? Can I come in?” Hudson’s muffled voice says.

“Hudson?! You made it? Thank god.”

“Yep, now am I allowed to come in yet?” Hudson says in an annoyed tone with a slight giggle behind it.

“One second, I'm still changing!” I say in a frantic way as I try to hurry so I can see Hudson. I stop as I look out my window at the snow that starts to fall around the fake and litten up Christmas trees that the hospital puts out every year after Thanksgiving. The light sparkling from the snow fall, it's the best time of year!

“Okay you can come in now!!” I yell a bit louder than I should’ve.

“Hey Nessa! I missed you so much, I heard you are leaving tonight and I came to pick you up, but we need to make a stop on the way home, mom said there is a package waiting for the both of us at the post office.” I was flooded with excitement to see hudson and to see what we got in the mail. I am a bit suspicious about the package because we always go pick one up, but this one is really early, and I'm sure it's from Nana though. She always sends presents so she doesn't have to fly up here. 

“Okay I’m almost ready, I just need to find my shoes.” I say as I scurry around the room looking for my new boots mom bought me a week ago. “Okay let’s go.” We both shuffle out the door to make in time to the post office before it closes for the night.

15 minutes later…

The post office is just about to close. The lights outside are dimming and slowly turning off and nobody else is here except for the person closing down. You can hear the whistle of the train coming close, and the smell of fresh cinnamon rolls from the best bakery in town.

“Okay let’s go Ness.” Hudson excitedly said as they walked inside the post office. I set my hand on the railing. It was ice cold but the feeling of the heat wave once we got inside was amazing. 

“Woah that box is huge, I wonder who’s getting that.” I say after Hudson gives me this odd look, he's always done this cheery eyed funny look since I can remember.

“We are.” Hudson says while reading the address on the box.

“It smells kind of weird, and why is the corner rotting?” I say in a disgusted tone as we walk outside. 

“I have no clue, but we need to open it outside, it looks like the lady is trying to leave to get home.” Hudson pulls out his car keys and cuts the tape on the box. The stench starts to get stronger and I begin to taste it in my mouth.

“This smells horrible.” I plug my nose. I can barely breathe because of the horrid smell. Also because I’m plugging my nose. It's getting so much worse as the box opens. My chest is hurting again and my breathing is getting worse. It smells like a dead rat that had a disease. My skin is covered in goosebumps. The box slowly opens and reveals a very pale, zombie looking head. I screamed in horror. So did Hudson. I feel sick, dizzy, everything is spinning. I try to say “help” but not a single word makes it out.

“Vanessa?! Are you okay?!! Vanessa!!” I hear Hudson's voice scream as darkness begins to take over. 

BOOM

Vanessa falls backwards onto the ground and faints.

“Vanessa? Can you hear me?” Oh no.. I think to myself as blood starts pooling around her head..she cracked her head open, oh no. I am panicking, I can’t lose my sister, I regret not paying attention to her and choosing friends over her, she is always in the hospital too which makes me feel even worse. I am a horrible brother. Like come on, after not visiting her for how long, and when I do this happens? I look at the head again and start to cry. Who would do such a thing as mail a head?! I pick up Vanessa and run down the road and keep running and don’t look back. I forget about my car. As I'm sprinting down the road with my passed out sister in my arms something catches my eye. I look past the drain pipe that leads out to the river. I see some blood but I take a deeper look. It's pale, torn up, and rotten … its ..its ... a….body….without a….head. My emotions drain, I feel empty. Who would do something like that?! I remember my car is still at the post office, so I run as fast as I can back with my eyes blurry from all the tears.”

“Hudson?..” Vanessa wakes up.

“Just relax Nessa I am almost to the car, you fainted.”

“Okay” Vanessa says in a tired voice, laying against my  dark grey pullover hoodie that is now stained with blood. Ness gave me that a few years ago for my birthday. It will always be my favorite, but as of now it's covered in her blood and all I can think is...this is my fault.

 “Just take me home, or anywhere except the hospital.” I see her eyes water. She doesn't want her last sights to be in the hospital that she already regretfully spent the great majority of her life wasted there.

“Don’t cry Nessa, everything will be okay, I promise, I will protect you, cheer you up, and just become a better person, son, and brother to you in general.” She starts crying.

“I love you, you’re the best brother ever.” Vanessa says in a shaky voice.

“I love you too Ness.”