Fan blades spun idly above me, sending cold shivers through my body. It was darker than usual, white luminosity from my LEDs flooding the room. To start the light was darker compared to the blaring lights from my monitor. I stare a hole through my ceiling lost deep in the sensation of my thoughts. Thoughts that are practically screaming at me, letting me feel numb to my fingertips. Leaning further into my chair, my head rested against the chair's back. The only thing in the room to comfort me was the silence from the cold, soulless walls. Faded greens filled the edges of my peripherals, I needed to brush my hair again after this I solemnly thought to myself. Soon my thoughts drifted off again ignoring the small buzz of voices coming from the miscellaneous placed headphones resting on my desk. Did they really want me here, or is it out of pity that they keep me around, what if they just want me gone. My brain continuously rushed these ideas to head, swarming any other cognitive thought from my mind. I was slowly seeping into these ideas, like ink running through a piece of paper. Until a small notification noise filled my ears causing me to make my head leave the continuous stare into my ceiling it was so uneasy about breaking. 

Hey Adrian, are you coming back soon? The message read in my dms when I checked it. Mae was wondering when I’d get back, I guess it had been at least 10 or maybe 20 minutes since I was last present in the game.

 I immediately moved my hands to the keyboard, a small clicking sound from the keys filled my room as I responded: Yeah, I’ll be back in a bit. With that I hastily put the headset back on; and tabbed back into the game. The darker exteriors of the game made it very interesting, especially since the game dealt with taking jobs hunting ghosts with at least 2+ friends. The idea seems scary, but with this group it was just chaotic. Which in my opinion made the game all the more fun, especially with Muffins, Enchanted, Mae: my online friends. Anyways as I quickly put back on my headset, which caused my hair to puff up more around the sides of my head. For the most part, the pressure of the headphones caused me to see small green curls in the sides of my eyes. The gruesomely dim aura of the game completely took over any light coming from my monitor before. My hand moved to grace the button which would unmute my mic. Now completely absorbed by what we were playing, I speedily pressed my keyboard to hear a small, requisite, clicking sound to compliment the surprising silence in the game. 

My character moved the starter position as I said “I’m back!” 

All of a sudden to interrupt the tranquility of the game I just joined back to I hear Muffins screaming “NOPE, NOOO, THAT’S ENCHANTED’S PROBLEM.” Which was soon followed by their character, brushing past my persona into the corner of the van we spawn in. 

“Ar- are you alright Muffins?” I questioned soundly as Muffin slowly turned his character towards mine. 

“Oh, Adrian you’re back, uhm somethings happening in the house with Enchanted and the ghost.” Muffins responded firmly.

 “Ah, may I ask wha-“ I started?

Before I could finish speaking, Muffins cut me off with “um, no” before retreating to the corner of the van again. Meanwhile, my hands paused over the keyboard for a moment as a bit of a worried tang came over me, but a small, slightly annoyed smile crept onto my face as well. This was gonna be interesting I thought to myself as I quickly responded with 

“well, I’m gonna go check on Enchanted and Mae, be safe Muffins?” I inquired as Muffins slowly crept from their corner to get a small pc placed in-game that was connected to the cameras in the house. They continued watching a lonely, bleak hallway that appeared to have some of our ghost hunting equipment scattered along the gray-beige walls and light brown, fuzzy carpet. Soon I stopped questioning whatever Muffins were looking for in the hallway and turned around to grab a flashlight from our shelves of equipment in the van. Some shelves still surprisingly remained untouched. Oh no, had this ghost been more of an issue than we expected I pondered as I also grabbed a photo camera from the shelf of surprising intact items. Additionally,  I quickly exited the van and started to look around the map. A sigh of relief had managed to escape my lips as to seeing the sight of the house door still open. In this game, there was a very specific feature called hunting in which the ghost would lock whichever players were inside the home to take their life. It’s an addition that cuts off all communication between players and causes one’s flashlight to blink off and on. So atleast from what I could tell the ghost wasn’t hunting yet. It was raining in-game, the small rain droplets clouding my vision as I entered the house. As soon as I entered the house a small red ball with faded yellow strips bounded down the stairs. 

Followed by a blocked yell from upstairs stating “OH really ghost, you wanna push a Ball down the stairs but not blow out a single candle, really?!” A small laugh broke free from me as I heard the different, shifting tones in Maes' voice filling the upstairs hallway. Meanwhile, my hand slowly drifted away from the keyboard to cover my mouth from leaking any other small giggles. As my other hand still worked on the keyboard to get my character upstairs. With some effort in my left hand, I was greeted with the image of Mae’s character practically hovering over a white, melting, lit candle placed on the floor. 

“Oh, hi Adrian, as you probably heard we’re having some trouble with getting the ghost to blow out a candle” Enchanted addressed me with, their voice somehow managing to have a sweet tone but with a small tang of frustration leaking in as she spoke. 

“Adrian.” Mae just stated as they still stared contently at the candle, clearly focused on watching the ghost blow it out. 

“So uh, have we figured out anything about the ghost yet? I asked, quickly moving my hand across the keyboard to bring up an in-game journal. 

“Nothing, besides some fingerprints” Enchanted inquired back to me. As I wrote down the evidence of the ghost.

 I suddenly heard Mae suddenly yell “go, go, go.” Additionally,  his voice slowly got louder as his character was sprinting down the stairs towards the door. Enchanted quickly followed them as I quickly looked up to see the candle now blow out, but a gored, bloody figure now quickly moved down the hallway towards me. 

Moments later I frantically spoke “GAH” as its flashing figure now chased me down the stairs towards where the ball which now sat still. My flashlight flashed as I got a glance at the ghostly silhouette, and yet the door was still open. That was new I thought to myself as my persona fell out of the door and onto the stone porch outside. I heard a sudden creak behind me and a cold, ice-like feeling fell over me. My shoulder tensed as I slowly turned to face the van half expecting the ghost to be right behind me. 

Ghost ai isn’t supposed to be able to leave the house I almost finished thinking as I heard an “I asked for the ghost to blow out the candle, not make an attempted murder on one of us” Mae blurted out with a small solemn tune flaking into his voice. Another creak came clearly from their mic, Mae was just leaning back in her chair. 

“Mae, never lean back in your chair again, ” I said assertively, followed by a muffled, quiet laugh from Enchanted. 

“What why-“ Mae quickly asked before being interrupted by Muffins. 

“So, are we done with this game or '' Muffins started, appearing to be half hiding in the van?

“Nope, we still haven’t found enough evidence yet” Enchanted answered as their character slowly walked towards the van followed by Mae. This may take a while I thought as I leisurely moved towards the van as well. I hear small clanking on both sides of my headphones, all of our combined movement causing the van to release some small sounds. 

“So, how are we going to get the rest of the evidence?” Muffins questioned, abruptly filling the silence which tried to settle between us all. His tone became more bland and bored with this very slow session. 

“Welp, I was thinking, Muffins, maybe we could all go in together-“

 Although Enchanted was immediately cut off with “No, I refuse to go back into that house” Muffins firmly condemned Enchanted. All while Mae and I just watched as the two slowly began to discuss the matters of whether to abandon hunting for the ghost or to force Muffins into going back into the house with all of us. I began to look around the van more as both their voices began to be buzzed out by my thoughts. The monitors in-game appeared to be showing no signs of the ghost yet, all screens showing things like how much sanity the group had, a map of the house, and a graph showing the amount of ghost activity. Furthermore, there appears to be nothing besides the spike from earlier with the ghost chasing us down those dead halls. My eyes made a slight glance at our objectives plastered to the wall as well; we only had to find enough evidence about the ghost to identify its type.

 I was starting to skim over what the ghost type could be in my mind before an abrupt “FINE, I’ll go in with you guys” Muffins said, giving up on the argument with Enchanted, who they could never win in a disagreement against. 

“Alright only if you say so” Enchanted teased.

 “Shut it” Muffins hastily cut in as they grabbed a spirit box from the shelves of equipment. With that all of us walked out of the van, our flashlights coating the house in a misty white-gray color. Some of the dust particles were specifically highlighted and drifted through the air silently. Still, it reminded me of the way moths secretly and gracefully fly into the night. This moment even though it would seem to be worried full, but reminded me of when I first met this group of friends. I was beginning to feel small pangs of nostalgia as we slowly walked towards the house, my mind drifting off to another time. A time when I could still see the vivid greens of the in-game grass. Along with the night violet sky filling my vision with the sound of distant music as we talked about whatever came to mind. Recalling the moments reminded me of the taste of powdered sugar against the tongue. It was sweet, almost too sweet, as the thoughts from before began to flood my mind. What if they hate me, what if they want me gone, maybe I’m just some extra to them. Someone they could just let go of as easily as a pencil drops on paper. It hurt to think of, but it felt like the simple and obvious truth. It was the truth I thought to myself as my thoughts suck in; they seemed to feel like hooks slowly pulling at me. I looked off my screen to glance behind me: there was nothing. Just an empty room besides myself, it felt serene. In a way, I was already preparing myself for the hard ideal of when they finally say what they’ve been presumably thinking. The truth of how they don't want me there or I’m just some stranger they want to leave. These thoughts shifted through me like gears refusing to work with each other, making a grinding sound as they refused to move. An iced breath managed to escape my lungs, it felt spiked. Furthermore, as I looked back to my monitor I saw that Muffins had completely stopped in front of the doorway, as Enchanted, I and Mae caught up with them. The darkness of the house seemed to flood the doorway, it was almost scary. 

I started to feel a small twinge of fear until Muffins stated “I’m not going in that house first, sorry but I volunteer Mae.”

 As they slightly shifted their character at the sight of the home, “Alright, bet” Mae responded as they quickly moved past the shadowy doorway. Enchanted quickly followed, with only a small bit of light from their flashlights visible from the doorway. Muffins soon entered as I followed them; our slight movements echoing against the tile of the house. I glimpsed around the house to still see the ball from earlier waiting for an ounce of energy to move it. Its bright colors now faded against the bleak house and age. 

“So, is anyone going to go upstairs first or?” Enchanted questioned, as she sat waiting at the bottom of the stairs. 

“Here I have the spirit box, I should go first I guess” Muffins practically whispered while half-hazard moving towards the stairs. As they moved their character almost blended in with the darker tones of the room. Our flashlights were the only things keeping most of them visible against the game graphics, with his character's clothing style fitting with the game's color scheme.

 A small creaking sound followed them whilst they went up the stairs, when they finally finished walking up the stairs I briefing started “this is fine, it- it’s probably fine.” Enchanted just simply watched the stairs silently, they appeared to be waiting for any form of a reaction from Muffins or the ghost. 

Eventually, their patience was rewarded with a slightly bass-boosted, muffled, bit of word from Muffins saying “are you here?” Added with the spirit box’s static filling the hallway on the next floor. Mae appeared to have moved his character to watch the stairs as well while more yes or no questions were asked by Muffins. There was no specific pattern in the questions Muffins asked, only sometimes were questions repeated. Suddenly I was interrupted by a quiet scream from upstairs. 

Enchanted slowly turned to face me, immediately a small “uhm” was shared between us as Muffins hurled themselves down the stairs back into the room we all were gathered in. 

“THE GHOST TURNED THE LIGHTS OFF” they yelled while running out of the doorway. A small thunk was heard as they shut the door behind them; leaving us with the ghost. I heard a movement from behind me and a fluffy pink-haired person had moved towards the door. 

Mae went to go meet Muffins as Enchanted and I followed them. Once reuniting with them outside.

Enchanted hesitantly asks “So, um anyways did you get anything on the spirit box.” Meanwhile, the noise from the storm kept taking over most of the sound from our voices. Mae has mostly continued to be quiet, so Enchanted’s voice slightly echoed against the concrete stairs.

 “No, the ghost just turned off the lights, clearly we’re not gonna get any other evidence so maybe we could possibly just, you know leave?” Muffins whispered quietly, their character slightly drifting back to face the van.

 “No, no I have an idea” Enchanted stated, along with some movements being heard from their mic. A creaking sound rang through my ears as Muffins had now moved to face Enchanted, their white button-up completely contrasted the rotting, wooden porch. Soon a sudden, familiar song was played from Enchanted’s mic. They quickly rushed into the house, followed by Mae, I, and Muffins.

 “I’m a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world~” had begun to fill the house, including the hallway where the ghost had resided beforehand. The music was practically deafening, it was impossible to hear anyone else’s voice. I could help a laugh from escaping me as all of us listened to Enchanted, I heard other drowned-out laughs as well. This moment felt nice, it felt like I was with a group of friends. Yet normally during a moment like this I would feel regretful. My thoughts would normally go back to the idea of how I wasn’t wanted here, like I was an intruder. A stranger, or just someone who no one here even considered a companion. This time however was different, I had experienced this a few times with them before where it just was serene. As a result, it reminded me of the feeling of the sun's soft rays against my skin or the smell of rain after a dense storm. A small thought managed to creep into my mind, stating how maybe they did consider me a friend, someone they possibly enjoyed the presence of. A warm feeling managed to brush my chest, I couldn’t help a smile appear on my face. It had been more than just a few months from when I started talking to Muffins, Mae, and Enchanted. In a way, this moment felt like a realization, one that would finally be able to fight my endless, spiral thoughts. As the song ended and our laughter subsided, I could hear Enchanted’s laugh. It was like the sight of honeysuckles, their white petals guarding a saturnine inside. Even over a small moment like just playing an old, loud song, it felt peaceful. I was just about to speak when I saw our flashlights start to flicker against the walls. With a loud noise from behind me and a lock closing affirmatively where the door was. Fortunately, it looked like our plan to anger the ghost had worked, I thought to myself as the poltergeist began hunting for us. The flashlights blinked in and out of motion, all at different paces. Mae immediately started bolting down the other hallway adjacent to the stairs, I quickly followed them. I heard footsteps following us, they lightly tapped against the brown mesh of carpet on the floor. I only felt a small fragment of panic, since the song Enchanted chose was so loud it was bound to anger the ghost. However, while searching for a place to hide whilst thinking I saw a distant supply closet. Additionally, its white door was just barely creaking open, I quickly moved my hand to open the door and fling myself inside. Enchanted hastily fit themself inside with me, while Muffins and Mae continued down the hall looking for another place to hide. Any light had quickly ceased within the room as we turned off our flashlights. I held down the door to prevent the ghost from forcefully opening it, while Enchanted backed into a corner. Lastly, the light footsteps from earlier had now ceased into much more tough and larger ones. A small hint of realization hit me as those footsteps were not Mae’s or Muffin’s. It sounded as if the ghost was managing to step on the wood itself beneath the carpet, the footsteps sounded rough. Furthermore, the floor was creaking more than it would under any human weight possible, my stomach dropped slightly when I heard it open a nearby door across the hall. I couldn't help but try the in-game communicator to see if Muffins and Mae were alright, I was only met with static on the other end. Although the only thing I could feel was the cold air of my room, nothing compared to how cold it must be in the game. Eventually, after a few seconds of the ghost searching for us the footsteps stopped, everything stopped. It was completely dark, and there was only the muffled rain coming from outside. 

I jumped slightly when I heard Mae’s voice suddenly come from the communicator “Is everyone alright?” 

We all quickly responded “Yeah” meaning the ghost hadn’t found anyone during its hunt.

 “Can we all agree to just leave now, please?” I asked, over the intercom. 

“Agreed” Muffins quickly responded as I heard more light footsteps outside the closet. 

Suddenly light flooded my vision as Enchanted turned on their flashlight, and covered the crowded closet in a dusty type of hue. It was quite a filled closet, with supply’s just barely managing to be contained on the stacks of shelves above. I hastily motioned my character to open the door and finally leave the home. The hallway was still very dark upon opening it as Enchanted brushed past me. I released my hold on the door and followed them out of the house. With one final creak from the floorboards upon closing the door, it was over. In a way, it was comforting to see the small rain droplets collect on my screen, as I took a deep breath and moved forward towards the van with everyone else.

 “Does everyone have a guess on what the ghost and its evidence was?” Enchanted asked while moving towards the button to close the van. At last, I quickly pulled up the journal in-game and wrote “Revenant” which was one of the ghost types available in the game once finding evidence of the ghost in said place. 

“Mhm,” I hummed as Enchanted grazed the button to close the van and head back to the lobby where we started. The game quickly brought all of us to a loading screen as any atmosphere from the game was cut off completely. After we were brought to a menu; which states how the round went, we managed to get a few of the objectives done. However I was wrong with my guess, it was a “Banshee”, which was another available ghost type. A small clicking sound was heard as I moved off the menu using my mouse to the now beginning lobby. It had concrete floorings combined with a sizable, patterned rug. Along with shelves full of ghost supplies and some spray cans.

”Well I think I’m gonna head off to sleep guys”  Enchanted spoke as they left the lobby leaving Muffins, I, and Mae alone. I was beginning to feel tired as well, it had been a bit since we started playing this game. 

“Same, I think I’m gonna get off too” I responded, moving back to the menu to close the game.

 “Alright, Goodnight Adrian” Mae said as I clicked off the game. Finally, I glanced over to check the time, 10:30 PM it read. It was getting late I thought, and it was a school night as well. I felt content; it felt nice to finally not have swarms of panic and stress clouding my vision. After all, it had been a worry of mine for quite some time of them just wanting me to leave. In the end maybe even one day I could confidently say they were my friends I thought while moving my mouse to finally go close the sporadically made tabs from earlier. The fan blades above me continued to generate a small sound, it fought the silence of my room. For once my mind continued to be at a stalemate, there was no form of lingering thoughts or ideas to distract me. After a call, I would normally feel panicked or worried, but instead, there was a hole where that feeling was.

 As I wondered why I felt so relaxed as I continued to close any remaining tabs on my computer. I could still hear a small clicking sound from outside the quiet white noise in my brain. My mind while doing this played with the idea that maybe they don’t hate us, maybe it was just me thinking they did, maybe I was wrong about how they felt. Someday I could maybe even believe those words, even now after those moments with them I felt like I could. Mae even asked me to be there rather than disregarding my absence and me without question. These thoughts followed with the feeling of contentment that seemed to string me along a path, playing with these ideas didn’t hurt this time. No feelings of guilt or regret seemed to be prominent, maybe I was finally convinced that they didn’t despise me. These realizations came in slow, they appeared to trickle down like water melting from an icicle. Simalously after having this train of thought it came to halt as I was now hovering my mouse over the shutdown button for my computer. The screen was blaring compared to the game I had just finished playing, which was a bright gray color accompanied by three different sets of actions. Shutting down the computer is one of them, before finally pressing against the mouse to make that decision I took a deep breath. Letting the air fill my lungs, bringing up my shoulders, and causing me to tense slightly. All the filled air in my lungs eventually drops out of me as I hear a small click fill the room. The floor below me creaked slightly as I moved from my chair to turn off my monitors for the night.