As soon as I sat there impatiently waiting in the disquieting studio, I contemplated the unsettling feeling that I had experienced years before. The fear of that feeling coming back to me was big and wouldn’t find its way to ooze out of my crowded mind. That bright, sunny day felt like the darkest, cloudy day ever to exist. I wanted to be in the Nutcracker so bad. I had a deep desire to dance on a big and airy stage alongside famous ballerinas. The awful inkling of missing out on the joyous fun everyone else got to be involved in did not feel good. Now, ever since that sorrowful morning dreading I had even auditioned for the Nutcracker, I had never tried to get in again. My mind thought it would be pointless to even try, but this year my mom gradually started encouraging me to give it a try. Doubting myself so much. My heart initiated pumping at any time it was brought to my attention. But this year I was giving it a try.

     In the meantime, wondering why I received an unlucky number, I pinned the number thirteen onto my leotard. Attempting to stretch out the tension that was taking up my body, I gently placed my tight leg onto the smooth wooden bar. The only thing that entered my mind was gloomy and negative thoughts. Nothing else seemed to find a path to my mind, other than that. I looked at the clock, for what felt like the ten-thousandth time, it was 11:30. “Okay girls, it’s your turn!” My stomach immediately started to churn like a storm on a dark fall day with leaves whirling up like a tornado. The other girls and I shakily entered the huge studio. It started. The intimidating judge examined the way we spun, jumped, moved, and looked. When the audition wrapped up, I was proud of myself. Whatever the outcome was, I mustered up the courage to try my best and overcome my fear. However,  I was relieved that it was over, I now worried about that cast list. 

     A week later, I headed home from school to the sight of a plate of donuts, the candle was lit on the table. Hmm, I thought, what was going on? My mom and dad grinned at me. Confused by their happiness, I asked “What? What’s the special occasion?” They both looked at me and smiled,

     “You got into the Nutcracker!”  My parents congratulated me. They all hugged me, I was so touched by their happiness. What role did I get? I wondered. It was the Chick, the one I had always thought I’d like. I was overjoyed, but a little nervous too! 

     Two months later, I entered the grand Music Hall. Another role was given to me. The Delivery Boy. It was a big responsibility that made me feel special. I felt as if I was too lucky. They really wanted me to have another role? I questioned myself. Every time I practiced my dances, it seemed as if a dream of mine had come true. I had no time to get excited about this as if it was Christmas morning, I had to think about my role, and work hard on fixing my mistakes and errors. After many tiring, but enjoying rehearsals at the ballet center and knowing my parts, it still was intimidating going to the big stage. Imagining myself being on a vast stage with ballerinas of all different costumes swooshing by me with the biggest smile on their faces as huge as my face when I figured out I got into the Nutcracker. Though I was eagerly awaiting to go on stage, I was very nervous. More than two-thousand people came to each show and I was going to be performing ten. “I’m going to be horrible.” I fearfully said to a friend. I needed somebody to throw some positivity at me before my majestic show. She replied, “If you say you can’t, you can’t, but if you say you can, you can!” I grasped her advice and chose to be optimistic. The shows swooped by like two birds chasing each other. As I happily and bravely danced in  each performance, I also felt very proud of myself. I went out there and had so much fun. The bright, colorful stage I had always fancied to be on was there. The beautifully detailed costumes with hours of hard work put into them were there too. Worn by me, my friends, and others with confidence and courage in our bodies. Family and friends were in the huge, curious audience supporting me the whole way through as if it was a long race just barely reaching the finish line. My hard work had paid off! I told myself. 

     This truly important experience taught me a lesson to be optimistic at times that are the most difficult. I acquired the knowledge to be patient and to believe in myself. You have to be confident no matter what since it helps create a good result. This story shows that with some work, I can build confidence.