Why did I go, man? I mean it has been 2 years, but who invites their EX to their wedding? And what kind of ex actually shows up? I went with my fiancee Christina. She’s a nice person. I proposed to her nearly 10 months ago on our anniversary, but we still haven’t started the wedding plans. She seemed interested in meeting Chrysta and all the other wedding attendees–my old friends and other people I haven’t really had a chance to introduce her to. The wedding was alright. Tom had done a decent job planning the wedding, which was surprising to me because he went to state school. He started the wedding off by hiring a pilot that flew around the sky spelling out: “You are the love of my life Chrysta”. He then put on a “custom” fireworks show with the theme of each 5-minute segment being an aspect of what he loved about her. After the toasts, an orchestra came in as accompaniment to perform a love song he wrote, which he sang for Chrysta. I didn’t think the song was all that good… 

Chrysta seems happy, which is good for her. We dated for about 8 years and then one day MUTUALLY decided to break up. Our shared friends said she “couldn’t stand me anymore”, but it was a mutual break up so they are probably making it up. She told me about how she met Tom at some sort of “Davidson and Johnson’s Alzheimer’s Foundation walk for the cure” charity event, and how it was “love at first sight”. I doubt that even exists. She showed me her ring. It was a gold ring with a diamond the size of a tooth on it. A f*cking tooth. Christina’s ring was not nearly as big. I almost felt belittled, but she is marrying me after all. The size of the diamond doesn’t really matter when you’re marrying someone who graduated from the Ivy League. 

We stayed for a couple of hours and I decided that we would go back home so we started the 10-hour drive. Christina kept blabbering on about how great the Feng Shui of the wedding hall was. “The wedding hall had great Feng Shui,” she said. “We should get a wedding hall with good Feng Shui as well.” I couldn’t listen to a word she was saying on the drive back. I couldn’t really think about our wedding either.