“Don’t leave, don't leave, don't leave!” I shout as the beeps continue to get louder and louder and louder. I grip her hand as the air tightens like there are no more breaths to take. Guilt pours out as I see her there. Lying there. Tears drip down as silence grows. The beeping is now gone.

It was now about 7; 00 pm as I calmly shut my car door. I stare at the bright lights with the twinkling stuffed animals dancing in the window.

I trot inside as I wipe my shoes so I don't accidentally slip on the wet floor from the snow outside.

I finally actually enter the building as the smells of old food and deeply scented hand sanitizer fills the air. I felt a tug of nausea rush to my body as I had that aching feeling.

The front desk soon guided me where I needed to go.

“Room 404, correct?” I asked questions so I wouldn't walk into the wrong room.

“Correct!” the front desk lady conforms, as I squint my eyes trying to read her name tag. I came up with the words and from what I saw I think it said, Linda.

I walk up the stairs to find the nearest elevators, as I proceed to escalate up.

The elevator beeped closed as I tried to walk in.

“Dammit!” I shouted as angry as ever. I just wanted to see Ella.

I waited patiently for the elevator to open as I finally saw the second one to the right open.

“Ding”
I walk in as another girl comes in with me.

She was small. 2 times smaller than my size. I was guessing she was about 9 years old.

She was wearing a dark red hat with a little imprint of a flower on it.

She was also holding a little brown stuffed teddy bear with a little heart around its neck.

“Toby!” the little girl shouts.

“Toby?” I am confused as ever with what she's talking about.

“It's my bear's name. You seemed quite interested in it. I saw you look at him.”

“Yes. he is a very cute bear!”

I looked at the little girl as she started to cough. Not those kinds of coughs where you have a common cold and you need to spit the phlegm out. It almost sounded like there was something coming for her on the inside and it was taking over her.

Floor 4. The door opens.

I say goodbye to the little girl as she runs away to room 416. Poor thing. She was ill.

I finally take my step out of the elevator and proceed to room 404 where Ella has been staying. Oh, do I miss her. I haven't seen her since October.

I made my way into the room as the room was nearly close to the elevator.

“Knock knock!” I say as my knuckles softly brush against the door lightly knocking.

“SARAH” Ella shouts my name. I knew she would miss me. I miss her just as much.

I ran to Ella as the room filled up with happiness. It reminds me of when we were little. Our first sleepover.

We were so excited as we both jumped around on Ella's bed and had pillow fights with her bright pink pillow. It's still laying with her now too. She will never let that thing go. You could say, it resembles our friendship.

The room still continues to light up with bright colors fuming the room. We wrap our arms around each other tightly, as we both refuse to let go. 

The room was so exciting that it canceled out the dark blood bags, the old hospital food from 2 days ago at least, and then there I saw it. Ella’s cancer treatment.

If you didn't know this already, well my best friend is Ella. We have been with each other for about 9 years now. And as you can tell, my best friend is suffering from stage 3 lung cancer.

Ella will always have energy. She's the kind of person who would never let you down. She never gives up on you.

But recently, she's been getting weaker and weaker by day. But she's a fighter.

Our hug finally grasped as the ecstatic feelings slowly went away and we came back to reality with the hospital.

“How have you been Ella. Really?” I say this because I don't just want that “fine” response that everyone gives.

“I have been pretty good, it's just really hard sometimes. When I cough, it feels like my body’s taking over.”

My mind shuts off for a second. I begin to think about that little girl with the red hat again. Her horrible cough and her sick sick eyes. Her cough also sounded like it would take over. Like in her little mind, the world was shutting down.

My brain then refocuses on Ella as I notice the breezes from outside begin to get harder and the blood bags soon seem to feel too full. Something doesn't feel right.

And then it happened. The thing I was most worried about experiencing with Ella.

“Hhhhhhhhhh” The cough goes. The deadly cough.

I don't even speak a word as I run downstairs to get water as paramedics give me weird looks as to why I'm in such a hurry. The room began to feel smaller and I tried to keep my breath going. 

WATER

The big label with the huge blue sticker shows a gallon of water. 

I take 3 cups at one time as I rush to fill them all up and don't even bother to grab ice.

I go back to the room and turn in the other direction.

The doctors are worried as they give me smirks of concern and begin to follow me, as their walks soon turn into quick runs.

Ella’s cough grew by the minute. You could hear it all the way down the hall.

The doctors follow me as we all run in a straight line. Kind of reminds me of my and Ella's favorite game. We called it; scrabs. It was kind of a tag game, but we wanted more of an original name.

“I got you hahaha” I would scream as Ella hit the floor out of breath.

And this is when I realized. Ella didn't get up. She stayed there. I thought it was a joke. Some kind of new game she wanted to make up, but this is where it all started. She started her coughs. I called the number 911.

The coughs started to feel real again when I realized I was back in reality and I began to enter room 404.

Doctors run in as I dump my water from all the commotion. I wanted to help her.

I wanted to give Ella this water and I know she knows I was trying to help.

The doctors pull over a big translucent tube onto her face as they begin to give her more of her cancer treatment. They also gave her something I wasn't too familiar with. But I trusted the doctors.

I love you I love you I love you your my best friend best friend best friend

Thoughts. Poring out with no self-control. This can't be happening.

“BEEP BEEP BEEP”

“Don’t leave don’t leave don’t leave!” I shout as the beeps continue to get louder and louder and louder. I grip her hand as the air tightens like there are no more breaths to take. Guilt pours out as I see her there. Lying there. Tears drip down as silence grows. The beeping is now gone.

Doctors are great people. Always here to save the day! And sometimes they fail that job, but they never give up. They put it all in there. Well, today, the doctor put in there all the will to Ella, but they didn't serve as the “heroes' ' they wished to be today.

I finally kissed Ella’s hand as they slowly took the breathing mask off her.

I love you I love you I love you your my best friend best friend best friend

Room 416.

I walk in as my hands still feel clammy as I witnessed too much that my eyes could process. Watch my own best friend die. Dead. gone. My everything. 

I walk in knowing that this is the little girl in the red hat room.

“Hello?” I knocked, but this time I knocked a little louder than I did in room 404.

“Oh yes, come in!” an unfamiliar voice says as I think I mistook the room.

“Oh, I think this is the wrong room! Sorry!” I say

“Oh, no-no-no. you have got the right room”
I'm a little frightened but I trust this mysterious voice. 

I lost my best friend and I need to accept it. I close my eyes and once cancel out reality from the slight knocks of the door almost hypnotizing me. 

I need to accept this and let go.

I fully got my body into the room as if it was a woman with a red hat and an oddly large

brown fluffy teddy bear with a star around its neck.

“Welcome! I'm so proud of you, and so is toby!’

You can get through