PROLOGUE

This tells my story on how a book helped me with parental issues at the age of five.. I'm now 37 and glad I'm not living the same life as my mother did when she was only just 20 struggling on trying to raise me. 

July 24th 2006

I open the door from my apartment and I see my15 year old son in the living room with a box i left in my room under my bed. This sudden wave of anxiety hits me. I was scared of him finding out.. I should've just left it somewhere more discreet.. I'm standing near the door and i ask ryan what he was doing with the box of photos of me and my mother. I don't get a response back .. could it be that he read my journal from 25 years ago… he gets up from the floor and goes up to me and gives me a hug.Yeah he definitely read my journal. Ryan then says “i'm sorry for going through your stuff,i've been wanting to know abt grandma.. since you won't talk to me abt her or even let me mention her '' i start tearing up i dont know why.. It may be because of how long ive kept it to myself not sharing my story with anyone not even my husband. I then tell ryan that it was finally time for him to know abt his grandma.. More so cuz hes older. I still feel like a little kid scared to be judged for speaking up..hes my son, i shouldn't think of my son as judgemental. I quickly make dinner before my husband gets back from work. Me and Ryan sit on the couch and i start telling my story to him.

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my mom still isnt back home from yesterday morning she always keeps telling me shell be home before six she never does. I've always been suspicious sbt my mom leaving “early for work ''. It's obvious she doesn't go to work, cant she find some better excuse. Our small apartments is all trashed im always the one depending on myself