My mom took me to church every Sunday, Friday, and Wednesday. She signed [OMEY(1] me up for bible study too. Dad worked all the time, so he didn’t have time for church, not just that, he never cared for it either. I used to get dreams about the rapture often, Jesus would come and take everyone I love with him, everyone who followed him, not dad though. I would scream and cry for him but in heaven you aren’t supposed to have any worries or problems, so was I even in heaven? My mom would say it was God, that he was giving me revelations.

“Honor your father and mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).”My mom would frequently repeat this. When I was being disobedient or when she wanted me to do something for her. Come to think of it, I heard her say it a lot but I rarely ever disobeyed her. She reminded me. For good reason, she was looking out for me because she wanted me to reach the gates of heaven. I wish she would’ve done that for dad though. But it’s his fault. He was never with us. He seemed to think that going to work was more important than praying or reading the bible, in fact he thought everything is more important than that.

If there’s anything about dad I ever viewed in a positive light, is that when he isn’t working, he’s at home. He likes to spend time with me, he showers me with gifts, hugs, kisses, and sometimes takes me out to town. But all that doesn’t make up for the amount of time he wastes on the tv, work or at the gym. Time he should dedicating to God. It’s selfish of him because he doesn’t even consider me or my mom’s feelings. It makes me so angry because I try to show him god’s word and he just wants to do something dumb like play a board game with me instead. The two days out of the week in which we get to spend some time together and he doesn’t want to do something that I like. Well not completely true.

I do like going out to all you can eat buffets with him. But my mom says gluttony’s a sin.

I do like watching tv with him. But my mom says it’ll distract me from my responsibilities.

I do enjoy being showered by presents. But my mom says being greedy is a sin.

It felt like dad was dragging me down to his level. Like he was trying to influence me with temptations like food and gifts and affection. He was trying to make me sin. Yet he still had the nerve to tell me he loved me? If he really loved me, he wouldn’t have made me suffer by choosing to ignore the church. He wouldn’t have tried to stop me from making it into heaven and he would try to get there too because he would want to be with me. If he really loved me, he would have quit his job. He would’ve been with me and mom.

On the days my dad worked, when I wasn’t busy, I was at home. Reading the bible or praying or studying. With mom. On days my dad didn’t work, mom usually went out and spent time with her friends. Even though she’d never let me do that with any of my friends. My friends would always speak  about their families. How they would go out to restaurants or how they watched movies together or have game nights.

Apparently, it’s how they showed they care. It reminded me a lot of my relationship with dad. We spent a lot of time doing meaningless things together and then he would always say he loves me. I used to tell my friends these things and they would call it sweet and some would even say they wished they had a dad like mine. Had they really meant it?

Some of my best memories with my dad are the ones of us walking home from the park together. After hours of running around, playing games and rolling down hills. Being exhausted, the sun setting and us just walking home. Somehow, I had a lot of good memories from him, despite him not being around as much as my mom. Some of the best memories with my mom are when we’d stop to get some snacks at the store near across the street from the church, I’d feel really happy. I don’t know why though.

Maybe it was because she was actually spending time with me doing something other than worshipping god. That shouldn’t feel good though. Doing something other than worshipping god shouldn’t feel good right? I never felt excited or happy when my dad bought me a snack from a store. But that’s because it was the norm. I felt happy around my dad in general. I feel happy around my dad. Not my mom though. Sure we pray, read, spread the lord’s word, but I don’t feel good doing it. I should. I’m doing what God wants. That’s rewarding enough. But then why am I upset at the fact that she made me go to church now? Why am I feeling resentment towards her? Towards God. It feels like they robbed me of a mom throughout my whole childhood. And my dad? Did he ever do anything wrong? He was nothing but patient with mom and I despite us both being bitter towards him just because he didn’t have the same beliefs we did. He worked hard to support the both of us in everything, but I viewed him as lesser than. And despite me realizing all this, I still can’t help but feel like he’s going to hell.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

 [OMEY(1]Might need to put the entire beginning in past tense because the story is like a reflection from the main character