Newman Is A Noman

A hole in his sock, a scratch in his arm as he chews down on his pencil. Mr. Newman can't seem to focus in class. His students are all quiet now that it's silent reading time. His class sounds still and mute and the only thing one can hear is the a.c coming from the vent on the ceiling. In his mind Mr. Newman  knew what was going to happen and he knew there was nothing he could do to stop it. 

The clock is ticking and his leg is bouncing. It's bouncing up and down uncontrollably like one of those colorful bright blue small bouncing balls that kids get from a coin machine for a quarter. He stands up from his desk from the middle of the classroom, and then walks to the clock on the wall. His left hand starts to mess with the scratch on his right arm. He scratches it making blood gush out. For a second all he does is stare at the tiny drops of blood coming out, hypnotized he finally decides to look away and snap out of it. Mr. Newman worriedly looks around his classroom then quietly mutters something to himself. 

“I have to go. They’re gonna get me, and all because I'm an idiot. God please tell me why am I so stupid to gamble away my life? I can’t pay that back and they know that.” His hands started to tremble and his legs seemed to have a bolt of adrenaline. “I know what I have to do.” 

“What time do we leave class?” Jason (a student) had asked, interrupting Mr. Newman's quiet mutter. 

“Don't be hopeful but in 10 more minutes I think. I'm not so sure due to the bell schedule being messed up all week.” Mr. Newman responded with.

“Alright, thank you.” Jason said going back to reading his book.

Mr. Newman took a second and looked around his room at his students silently reading. He thought to himself how his students looked in despair. Their faces looked demoralized and were no longer gleeful like they once were in the beginning of the school year. 

“Jesus, look at them. They all look like dead zombies just trying to survive. School has drained them and made them hopeless, dead, and numb. God, I became a teacher to help students not be a witness to their downfall and depression.” He said to himself in his head. 

He then looked at the ground and noticed some red paint on the floor. It was a bright red like a fresh cherry bought from the supermarket during summer, like a warm gushing feeling. It was like red cardinals during the winter, it was like a cold numbing feeling.

Mr. Newman then took a quick glance at his shoe and could still feel that hole in his sock. Only this time it was really bothering him. He could feel the ripped edges forming a circle and could feel the thread from the sock unraveling coming apart due to the hole. The thread was hanging on as much as it could to the sock, but Mr.Newman knew one more step and it wouldn't hang on anymore. 

It was 2 more minutes until the bell rang and Mr. Newman was now getting nervous, but in his mind there was no backing down now. He had to go through with his plan and not chicken out. He walked over to his desk, the silence turned to his keys jingle and jangle, shake and rattle. He then used his keys to open up the lower left drawer in his desk that was locked. He opened it up halfway enough for him only to see what was inside it. He then was able to see the small duffle black bag where he knew he was hiding the money he owed. 

The bell then rang. RING. It was time, and as the students rushed to pack up their things and leave Mr. Newman decided to say, “ Alright you guys, have a good day and make sure to always… Always have hope for the future.” 

As he heard the last footsteps from the last student leave his classroom he then grabbed the duffel bag and walked to the door to leave. But before he left he stood for a second at the door and turned around to see his empty classroom full of empty desks and full of no hope. 

“In another universe I wouldn't be in debt.” Mr. Newman said, turning off the lights in his classroom and closing the door. 

Mr. Newman walked out of the hallways and outside the school. He was on his way to his black small car. On his walk with one hand carrying the duffel bag he looked up from the hard cold concrete floor and saw a cardinal. The cardinal was standing still on one of the branches of a small tree Mr. Newman had parked right next to. 

“Cardinals appear when angels are near.” He said out loud in a shaky trembling voice.   

He then walked to his car door, opened it and got inside the driver's seat. His phone was in his front pocket when he heard a ring, he picked it up and heard, “Hi honey! What time do you think you'd be home?” 

“Amelia… listen honey” he said not waiting for her response he continued to say, “ I'm in debt with a couple of guys. These guys are serious and will put me in danger if I don't pay them and I'm sorry you have to hear this but… you married a coward. I can't deal with the consequences of my own actions. And I don't want you to deal with them either. I'm in the school parking lot and there's this duffel bag with me. Please make sure you get it. I want you to grab this money, and you and our daughter get away from here. Move somewhere else, find someone else. Please Amelia be happy, please make Sophia happy. ” He had tears in his eyes and could not stop sobbing, no matter how hard he tried to hold back. 

“Milo? Are you okay? What are you talking about? You're scaring me. Please don't do whatever you're about to do Milo.” Amelia said in a shaky panicked voice. You could hear tears coming out of her eyes. 

“I love you Amelia. I'll always be with you and Sophia, please remember that.” Milo said through his tears and sobs. 

“Please don’t leave me in this world alone with our child. Please think about her. What am I going to say to Sophia? What am I going to do alone? MILO PLE-.” He had hung up on her. 

He whipped his tears, reached for his glove box and pulled out a hand size gun. He then pointed it at his head and BANG.  That red cardinal flew away and that hole in his sock had finally stopped bothering him.