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My Love For Him
He’s gone is all I thought. Gale was gone. His life taken by a drunk driver in a car. I would never be able to see him again except through the pictures of him that were taken through the years of his short life. Seventeen years of age and he was gone. His bright smile and his musically voice with a wondrous laugh to go with it. Beautiful, deep green eyes with a sparkle that would make any one girl like him. The shaggy, dark hair that glinted blue in the light that framed his face like grass outlines a pond. All of that gone. Never to come back. Just my luck, if only we hadn’t had a fight last night.
“What do mean I was lying to you?” he said, confusion in every word that left his lips.
“You know what I mean. Don’t lie to my face.” I was getting really mad. I had heard that he was cheating on me with the most popular girl in school, Lorry Ray. I was close to going off on him with all my anger from past problems that had nothing to do with him. Just then the bell rang and we had to go to class.
Now he is gone and we never cleared up that fight we had. I feel terrible now and I can’t do anything about it. So I’m sitting outside in the pouring rain. Tears are streaming down my face and the rain washing them away showing no proof that they were ever there. The only one that will know I was crying is ever angel that can see me at this moment in time. I feel hollow inside. My heart is aching with pain no living thing should withstand. The pain is almost unbearable. It’s like a cruse is upon me that can not be lifted. Now every thought, kiss, hug, and movement he made is a painful reminder that hurts my heart to think about. With each thought comes a new wave of tears. Tears that only I know what they are for. I’m sobbing now, not just crying but sobbing. I imagine my tear being blood instead of saltwater because then maybe if I cry enough then maybe I can give him my tears as life instead of water that would never help anyone anyway. Now I’m laying on the cold and wet ground outside shivering from the sobs that keep me from seeing that someone has come to me. They sit on the ground with me and cradle me in their arms. The voice so familiar and soothing makes me slow my tears so I can see who is holding me so tenderly. As soon as I can see who is holding me I blink because I can’t believe who it is. It was Gale. He was here holding me. He was talking nothing looked wrong with him.
“Stop crying please. I will always be here. You don’t have to worry about it honey because I will never truly be gone. I will always love you. Remember that and I will always be there and you will be able to feel my love whenever you are down or need to know I’m there,” he said it with a smile that could only make a single tear fall down my face. He brought his thumb to my cheek in the gentlest way and wiped the single tear away that only made me wrap my arms around his neck and hold on to him as tight as I could. We sat there for I don’t know how long.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. I closed my eyes tight and squeezed a little tighter around his neck. He rubbed his hand softly up and down my back saying I love you next to my ear in a calming tone. He helped me up and I stared into the eyes I would never be able to look at again. He pulled me closer to him and I leaned against his chest. I stood there until he brought his hand to my chin and forced me to look up at him again. He looked at me with a soft gaze.
I was wondering what he saw on my face. Sorrow, pain, worry. . . Love? His forehead touched mine. He closed his eyes and I closed mine. I took in a shaky breath and let it out. A tear fell along with the breath
“I will always love you. Don’t forget that.” Then his lips met mine. My hands clutched his cheeks and then wrapped around his neck and his hand, on my back, pulled me closer to him. We stood there in the rain kissing each other. Then he pulled away and I got the hollow feeling again along with new tears. He looked pained to see me the way I was.
“I have to leave. I’m sorry. I love you.” I closed my eyes and my voice seemed to get stuck in my throat. He kissed my forehead and turned away. He was walking away before I got my voice back.
“I love you too. Always,” I replied softly to the empty air. I kept my eyes closed and stood there a little while longer. The memory of him being there sunk into my mind. Then I opened my eyes with a renewed strength and turned slowly to walk back home knowing that he loves me and my love would be for him. Always.
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