Invisible Disease


“I hate you! I am running away forever and ever!” screamed 9 year old Lacy as she ran up the stairs throwing a temper tantrum. Her blonde, curly pigtails bounced as she stomped her little feet. Her mom got angry because Lacy refused to do her short homework assignment and grounded her. To lacy, it seemed like she would be grounded forever but in reality, her mom just told her she had to stay home until she did her simple worksheet. Mothers look out for the good of their children in every aspect whether it is their grades, health, friendships, and so much more and although Lacy couldn’t see this, her mom truly was just creating consequences because she cared.

Ever since Lacy was born, her mother had a undying love for her daughter. Without a father figure in her daughter’s life, Lacy’s mom did the best she could to give her daughter the best and nothing less. She taught her everything from walking and talking to the cheerleading skills she needed to be on their elementary schools cheerleading squad. She slowly grew out of the small temper tantrums and arguments that she had with her mom but as she started her teenage years, she distanced herself from her mom and started to do her own thing. A mothers love is, of course, unconditional so her mom bit her lip anytime she felt like yelling at Lacy because she didn’t want her to distance herself anymore than she already had. She turned her head when she heard about Lacy’s party life she was beginning to live and when word reached her about Lacy doing drugs with her friends, she closed her eyes and denied it to everyone when in reality, she had no doubt in her mind that there was a definite possibility that this could be the truth. No matter how much pain Lacy put her mom through, Lacy never noticed the damage she was doing on her mom’s heart and emotions.

“Hey lacy. Want to go downtown tonight,” Asked Jake, one of Lacy’s longtime friends who had chosen to go down the path of addiction three years ago when he was 15. Him and lacy attended grade school together and Lacy’s mom really approved of her spending time with him because she wasn’t aware of the unfortunate, drastic changes he had made in his life.

“Hell Yeah!” Lacy replied without even considering telling her mom her plans for the night.

“Alright, on our way we have to stop and get the ‘goods,’ if you know what I mean. I will be over to pick you up in about a half hour.”

“Can’t wait!” Lacy exclaimed as she began to shuffle through her closet to find something to wear. She pulled out a short jean skirt and a black tank top embellished with silver jewels on the neckline. After she had an outfit chosen, she crouched over to look under her bed for a pair of shoes and grabbed out a pair of black and silver strappy, 3 inch heels that matched her shirt perfectly. She brushed her long blonde hair and quickly sectioned it off to curl it for the party tonight. Her Iphone lit up with a text from Jake saying he was at her house so she quickly finished with putting on her makeup and ran down the stairs.

“Don’t wait up for me. I’ll be out late tonight,” Lacy yelled to her mom as she threw on her coat and walked out the door.

“Be Safe,” said her mom said and before she could say I love you, she heard the door slam and a car door open and close. Although she was used to her daughter leaving without getting the chance for her to say I love you, her heart felt as if it was shattering into millions of pieces every time she heard the door slam.

“We just have to make a few stops on our way there,” Jake reminded her as she was getting in the car.

“I stole $50 from my mom’s purse for alcohol and weed. Are we getting anything else?” asked Lacy.

“We will get anything I can get from my cousin. He’s been dealing ever since he was 13 so we will have to see what he has with him and go from there.”

“I hope he has good stuff. I really just want to be able to clear my mind tonight. My mom has been all weird around the house and I just want to forget about everything.”

“Oh trust me. You won’t remember anything that happens tonight,” He assured her.

They pulled up to Jake’s cousin’s house and they both eagerly walked up the creaky porch steps. Jake knocked twice and then turned the brass knob. They stepped over the shoes laying in front of the door and his cousin approached them. As he got closer, they noticed the whites of his eyes were glossed with a red shade. Jake and Lacy followed him upstairs into his room. His cousin reached under his bed and pulled out a huge cardboard box. “Take your pick,” said Jake’s cousin as he flipped off the cover. As they both gazed into the box, Lacy had a flashback to the drugs that their DARE teacher brought in when she was in fifth grade. She had been shown and warned about almost everything she saw in front of her but those warnings were gone just as fast as the flashback was. They filled their pockets, grabbed a couple bottles of booze, forked over the $50 and walked down the stairs as casual as possible. They threw their possessions in the trunk and headed towards the party downtown.
Neither of them directly knew the homeowner of where the party was, but they were good friends with some people who were attending so they didn’t think much of it. Within five minutes of being in the door they both had a drink in their hand and were talking to complete strangers on opposite sides of the living room. After a few drinks, Lacy walked over to Jake to get some weed to smoke in the bathroom with her “fling” nick that she met. They headed to the bathroom and lit up two joints. The thoughts of her home life slowly started to fade but she didn’t feel completely free from her thoughts so after a few more drinks, she grabbed some ecstasy from Jake. Her mind immediately started spinning and the thought of her faded relationship with her mom died from her mind. She woke up the next morning in the bathtub, dazed and confused. She threw her long blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head and she walked downstairs to look for Jake but he was nowhere to be found among the pile of sleeping, hung-over bodies left over from the night before. After quickly shooting down the idea of calling her mom for a ride home, she rapidly realized she had no choice but to start walking home.
Her mind filled with thoughts and questions about the night before. Where did Jake end up going? When did she end up falling asleep? What happened between walking up the carpeted stairs with the ecstasy and the time she fell asleep? After learning that she may never get the answers to the questions she had about the party, she tried getting her mind off of the mysterious events of the night before. She wondered what her mom did last night, and if she worried about her daughter not knowing where she was going. Although she only concerned herself with getting these thoughts off of her mind, she couldn’t stop thinking about her mom and the relationship they didn’t have anymore. After two and a half hours of walking, she finally saw her house in the distance. She wondered if her mom would question her whereabouts the night before but she knew that no matter what she had to face her mom and couldn’t avoid her.
She slowly opened the door just enough to sneak in without making a lot of noise. As she tiptoed inside, the wind caught the door and it slammed shut. She cringed as it pounded into the door frame and she heard her mom yell from her bedroom upstairs. “Is that you Lacy?” asked her mom.
“Yeah. Sorry about slamming the door. It got caught in the wind,” Replied Lacy. Her mom didn’t respond so realizing she was off the hook, Lacy walked upstairs and opened her oak door to her bedroom. She shut her door and laid down on her bed thinking about the fact that her two and a half hour walk was nowhere near enough time to clear her mind. She slowly drifted off to sleep and didn’t awake until she heard a soft knock at the door. “Come in,” said Lacy quietly as her eyes adjusted to the light of the bright sunbeams beaming onto her face through the window.

“Hey Lac. Can I talk to you about something?” Asked her mom as a concerned look took over her face.

“I guess. What’s going on?” Lacy questioned.

“Remember when I went to the doctor a week ago?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?!”

“I went back to the doctor’s office yesterday to get the results and they said I have lung cancer that is quickly spreading and if I don’t get treatment soon I have no hope for survival. Please don’t be worried about me Lacy. You are a strong girl and no matter what happens you are going to be fine” Said Lacy’s mom and she began to get teary-eyed. As much as Lacy wanted to hold her tears back, they just started falling and they wouldn’t stop.

“What’s the next step?” whispered Lacy.

“Surgery.”

Lacy began to sob even more than before. She was angry, but didn’t know who or what to be angry at. She was upset that there was a large chance she may be using the strongest lady she has ever known. Her mind flooded with flashbacks of the past few years when her and her mom grew apart farther than they had ever been before. She recalled the terrible things she said to her mom when all she was trying to do was look out for her because that was her job as a mother.

“How could I be so stupid?” Lacy subconsciously said without thinking about what she was saying.

“It’s not your fault Lacy. It’s nobodies fault. Please don’t blame yourself,” said her mom as her tears began to fall as fast as Lacy’s. They sat there holding onto each other for a half hour straight and then her mom slowly stood up.

“I’m going to get changed and cleaned up and the would you like to go out to dinner?” Her mom asked.

“Yes. I am going to change quick too. And I want to do my hair and makeup quick,” Lacy said as she began to wipe her tears that were still pouring down her cheeks. She slowly walked over to her delicate white vanity which she when she turned 12. She sat on the white and pink stool and grabbed a soft white tissue. As she gazed into the mirror, she saw her black eye liner smeared across her face just like a football player’s eye black after a tough game. She slowly wiped her face clean and put on a fresh coat of concealer and cover up. After changing out of her sweatpants, she put on a floral, knee-length dress that she hadn’t worn since easter two years ago. When she was carefully curling her hair, she heard a knock on her door. “Come on in,” Lacy said.

“Are you almost ready to go Lacy?” asked her mom.

“Just let me finish these two last curls and then I will be right down.”

“Alright. I’m just going to go throw the dark load of laundry in the washing machine and by the time that is done we can go,” her mom replied. They got into their white suburban and headed to dinner. Lacy hadn’t planned on ever telling the things that came pouring out of her mouth while they were at dinner. She confessed the most terrible sins that she had committed behind her mom’s back and they both cried in the middle of the restaurant as they sat there hand in hand. The confessions continued the whole way home and although she thought she would regret the things that she said, she felt as if a huge weight was lifted off of her shoulders. They both committed themselves to doing their best to revive the mother-daughter relationship and friendship that they when Lacy was younger.

A few weeks after their commitment to fixing their friendship, they were walking hand in hand into the waiting room of the best cancer treatment in the state. Anyone else would cry tears of fear making that long walk down the bare, desolate hallway, but Lacy and her mother cried tears of joy for the friendship that they had renewed just weeks ago. Just before her mom was put to sleep for her surgery, Lacy walked up next to the wide hospital bed where her mom laid in a blue, paper hospital gown.

“I love you mommy,” Lacy said as she kissed her mom on the forehead. Her mom squeezed her hand one more time and the Lacy was asked to leave the room while the surgery went on. Lacy sat in the waiting room all night. She felt the gentle touch of a nurses hand on her shoulder.

“You can come see her now if you’d like.” Lacy jumped up and ran down the hall and around the corner to her mom’s recovery room. She slowly entered the room as to not wake her mom if she was sleeping from exaustion after the surgery. She saw her mom’s fragile eyes slowly open and a smile spread across her mother’s worn out face. She shuffled over to the bed and hugged her mom.

“This is the beginning of an amazing friendship,” whispered her mom as she held on to her with all the strength she had after being in surgery all night long.

“I promise that I am going to make all the effort in the world to be by your side through everything Mom. I’m so sorry for everything I have done to hurt you. I love you,” Lacy said as she felt tears of joy fall from her tired eyes.

“I love you to Lac,” her mom replied. The feeling of having the mother daughter relationship that few people experience is an extraordinary feeling that many people will never have the opportunity to experience.