Here; that teenaged boy with the greasy hair, he listens to The Cure with an intensity in his brown eyes, his lips tight, and his forhead burrowed. He taps his finger against his knee as he listens and he is lost, lost in a different world that suprasses life itself into a mixture of feelings, emotions, lost thoughts and drowning senses. Then he takes his headphones off to get ready for school.

There isn’t a time nor place when I stop wishing to be less trivial. But being alive; being in existance stops me from cancelling out the worries about food, education, clothes, television, organising an outing, my future - all of these things are but a miniscule percentage of the trivialities that I am plagued with every mother****ing second of every motherf***ing day.

So if every single thing in my life is deemed to be trivial - what is important to me? What are the things that keep me from fading out of existance?

My humanity and the wonders of being alive and human.

Like...

Being at a concert, drunk and stoned off your a**, grinding and pushing up against a sweating stranger, being lodged into a sea of pulsating screaming and moshing kids. You’re all there for one reason - the music - and nothing, NOTHING, else even matters one tiny bit. You’re in the moment - in the f***ing SECOND of the moment - and all that exists for you is the music, the beats, the screaming, the intimacy with the others around you, and you’re lost for what seems to be forever.

And...

Being with the one you love, catching their eyes and heart thudding crazily. One thought exists to you, nothing else does - that person. And somehow you end up with them and the agony of waiting is finally over and you finally KISS… And it’s everything and nothing and your touching their warm skin and feeling their soft lips and breathing in their scent and the whole time you have your eyes closed - but you open them, just to make sure it’s not a dream.

These precious moments, and God knows there are more out there, are what I live for; what I strive to experience as much as I can. I don’t give a s*** if I die in the process; if I get expelled from school; if I get kicked out of home; if I lose everything I have; if I get the crap beaten out of me; if I get abused; if I lose myself - because in the end, in the very last second of my life - these moments are what I will be thinking of before I breathe my last breath.