Wind wafts up against Jason’s face, creating a brisk brush. He spots a seagull along the shore of the beach, black oil stains on its light gray feathers, pecking its bright yellow beak into the sand hoping for the slightest bit of food. The bird’s movements are so continuous it seems like the bird is a robot. Down, up, nothing; down, up, nothing; down, up… nothing. It created a very unsatisfactory feeling within Jason’s chest, his breath began to fall deeper and deeper; he tenses his toes, holding his hands tightly together inside the single pocket of his bold lettered hoodie, closes his eyes, and breathed in deeply- it’s going to be alright. He is wishing to escape the fight between him and her. He regrets yelling at her, the pointing of fingers- the resentment. The sweet scent of the beach swings into his red nose resulting in his nose to scrunch up. Muskiness and dryness blew into his nasal cavity, and then suddenly, smells of sweet high end perfume fills his nostrils. All he keeps picturing is himself and Ellie and the fiery argument-

Both of them; sitting on a park bench in silence. Jason looking out at the little kids playing in the sandbox in the far left. And Ellie just sat, fiddling with her fingers, making noises with her nails- irritating, tense, low pitch snapping. It was like nails on a chalk board- it kept echoing in his head. Jason felt this fire accumulating within his stomach.
“How could you ever do that? You knew I didn’t like them but, you always said, ‘I won’t become part of them… I won’t do what they do.’ And now you did! I cannot believe this happened.” Jason began shaking his hands back and fourth in disbelief.

“I know! But how could you trust me around people like that? Everything is so tempting, and they are really good at swaying people!” Ellie tried her hardest to not burst out in tears as her eyes began to form as glass, and her voice was cracking.

Jason made a fist with his right hand but loosened it, and he let each finger fall from the tense hand-“I know they are convincing and that’s when you just keep on saying no! Or you could have just walked away, I don’t get it! Ya’ know, I thought everything they always told us in high school was not true about the people you hang around with and how they could influence you- like I knew it was true, but every person knows when to say no…. I just didn’t think you would go this far- especially with drugs! I cannot believed you did E!” Jason tried to keep his body from jumping up off the bench and pointing his long, bony fingers in Ellie’s face.

“But Jason you know me! You know when it seems interesting or it is just something new, I tend to always try it-”
“Yeah I know you’re adventurous and daring, but you always said you would not do drugs; drugs can easily screw you up and you won’t even realize it! And it scares me to think you’ve gone off with,” Jason brought up his hands and created air quotes “‘that group’, and they even got you into smoking too! And you never even had the nerve to tell me about this until now- one month later! Just please tell me you’re not keeping anything else from me…”

Ellie reached the point when she was at a loss for words, her eyes gave in- a tear created a river falling down from her eyes, her nose was running, and her voice was full of whimpers. “I’m not keeping anything from you. Also, we are nineteen! And I thought you would have realized… and I know I shouldn’t have kept it from you, I’m sorry, okay?! I’m sorry!” Ellie clutched Jason’s hand as she begged. Tears began to fill both of their eyes, but Jason quickly wiped them away. He flung off the bench, his hands in fists.

“Our age has nothing to do with this, you still did it, you lied, and it’s still dangerous. I need to go….” He grabbed his hair extremely tight, brought his hands down from his head with strands of his head hair now resting in his hands.
“But Jason!” Ellie bawled. Her voice cracked and cut her off; she threw her hands in the air trying to grab him by his shirt or hands, too weak to physically get up. Jason pushed her hands away.
“No, just stay here; I need to go…” –

He opens his eyes, in the hope of her standing there. But he find that he is living in a fantasy as sand is thrown into his nose by the strong winds; she isn’t showing up; he left where they were; he left her, sitting in the park, all alone. Why would I let this get to this point? Jason continued on the shore, I should have tried to reason with her, shaking his head to the left and right, in denial.

The minuscule brown and grayish pebbles and green leaves from the water were washing up onto shore; the frosty white caps crash, eventually rising higher than the sand and turning into foam once it sinks into the tan, prickly sand. The sand shades of tan turn to dark and musky brown- gray in the dark, as the water washes out it makes him think of walking away from her as if he were the dark blue- plum tinted water just washing away from the glassy rocks. She is the glassy rocks- easily breakable. He turns his head to the right and suddenly sees her in this beam of light- standing seemingly with her arms across the front of her body, her long skinny legs beginning to collapse down closer and closer to try and keep warm from being caked with splashes of water. Her dark dirty blonde hair passing through the wind shoots across her face, but that does not take away from her dark green radiating eyes. He picks up his shaky right hand and begins to wave at her, but as he keeps waving his hand he realizes that he was just fantasizing about a tall, thin bush. The giant rocks sitting to him are a dark glistening black, throwing water at Jason’s motionless legs. Layers of dark wet, heavy sand coat the rocks. He walks closer and closer to the water debating a question in his head. His feet in his black suede classic slip- on sneakers drown in the salty shoreline water. His black pants become more and more saturated with the heavy salty sand in the water from the waves washing up and down the shore. He lifts his head up- coated with shame-he can barely keep his eyes open; his eyes are drooping, and his lips are turning down on an angle as if his face was melting off his skull. Jason looks out into sunset on the gold coast, with his eyes all glazed over, a tear slid down his light pink flushed right cheek. Disgrace and sadness comes over him as he stares out into the sunset. He felt his brain just slowly melting into a black pile of mush inside his head. He clenches his stomach in his pocket with his hands. His dark blue- hazel eyes reflect the bright yellow- orange UV rays from the sun. The dark panels of blue from the water generate a purple color and it reflects the boiling sunset. Dark gray wispy clouds begin to flow over the sun setting in the east which produces a smudge of gray across the sky just above the water. Jason looks down at the water; sighs, “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve this.”

Jason just lets his body go. Stops his breathing and gently closes his eyes. His heart gets slower and slower. He falls backwards, arms thrown out into the air like a rag doll. His fingers are flailing through the gusts of win, getting colder and colder. His once red lips are turning into a white- purple. He still feels the faint beating of his selfish, almost dead heart. The foot prints he once created by his dark heavy shoes are now gone- washed away by the brisk water sweeping up onto shore. Plump. Sand washes up and down his cool gray loose v-neck and his once black pants are now layered in a thick layer of sand and tiny rocks. He lays there as his hair is engulfed in the water, once sleek and smooth, now rustic and stiff.

Staring into the dark blue gray sky, he thinks of everything he could have done better so this didn’t happen- talk calmly, not leave her there, he just should have not said anything and could have continued with what they had- but then it would have ate him alive inside. He shut his eyes for a few minutes until he felt this poke on his chest. His stomach was being poked ever so sharply and he knew only one person who pokes like that- her. Is she really here? Or am I hallucinating again? Nah I’m definitely crazy. He slowly opens his sapphire crusty eyes, and there she stood her ground, right above his, glaring down upon his six foot and three inches of nothing laying there.