At first, I wondered: “Who would notice?”










Only then did I realize: “Who would care?”

I never understood why she did. The smoking, the drinking, the sex, and the parties – all teenagers did that stuff. The reckless behavior, self harm, I always thought she just wanted to feel like she was special. She had a secret.


I don’t know what else to do other than wait. Wait to follow her. Wait to find some new meaning for myself.


They say these are the best years of our lives.


I hope they’re kidding.



I decided that I can’t give up. Not like she did. No one would notice. No one would care. It wasn’t my will to fight. It was my fear of the unknown that made me back down. But I’ll pretend it is because I’m stronger. Pretending is what I do best.