Sometimes the sun just freezes and its like the whole world stops moving and everything is frozen in this one snapshot, this one moment in a frame of glass. and reality is an illusion. and then it all comes back. and the glass shatters. and the world melts into a puddle at your feet and you find yourself standing right alongside the filth and mud you avoided for so long but now you realize it was always hopeless because it was on you the whole time and your whole life is a testimony to it.
And you feel like there is nothing to go back to. because how can you go back when everything you knew was a lie? and the whole storyline to you is a myth and you realize that there is no you because your worldview and your outlook was a pillar balanced and constructed on an intricate series of lies and when they snapped so did your mind and the thread unraveled and it all became a mesh of colored beauty, vivid and glowing but loud and chaotic and pointless and unordered and without direction.
And so one day you take that mess and chaos and you can't stand it so you take it all and gather it and take the lies and the treachery in your life and put them all together and walk around it in a circle with a can of gas dowsing it all until the gas steams off and the pile corrupts the night air with its stench just like it did you your life. and you pull out your match and spark it and stand back with your arm over and stare down at what used to be you. and you let the match drop.
And that's the moment. that's what makes the person. is when they let the match drop. do they hesitate and turn and stamp it out and take back the stinking rags and try to put their life back together with the garbage from the pile? do they drop the match and as the flames rush up like monsters leaping for the sun and light they can never attain. and the fire grabs at them and sears their arm and pulls them in and caresses their body with writhing death and in their moment of strength does the person fall? or do they pass the test?
Do they drop the match and step back and watch as their world, so recently frozen, burns. and the ashes claim all and the drifting smoke is all that's left. this is the test. this is what makes a man. this is how the match drops.