Being a blanket is no easy task. You cannot imagine all the pain that is circulated throughout the body each and every day. Being dropped kicked and twisted into pretzel like shapes can be quite overwhelming. People act as if blankets are indestructible. Going through the washer and dryer is a complete terror thinking that my fragile layers may be torn off me at any second.

First of all being sniffed all day is not a pleasure, sure blankets smell good, but that does not mean that in all the free time a person has that the blanket must be near their nostrils. It is just plain gross and annoying. No human would like to be constantly sniffed around the clock just because it is “comforting”. You would think that being a comfort object there would be more comfort in the equation.

WHY MUST YOU THROW ME! Sailing through the air and landing on a heap of dirty clothes is not very gratifying. Sure people go parasailing all the time for enjoyment, but let me tell you that I do not enjoy being tossed in the air, because you are to lazy to walk over and set me down properly. To think that being by your side since you were four months old; I would have a little more respect, but no I am treated like a dirty rag.

I am begging you to please change your ways and kindly set me down, and please, no more sniffing. I have served you since you were an infant and love to please you; all I ask is for a little more respect and kindness.