Depression | Teen Ink

Depression

May 10, 2013
By MADavis ELITE, Kentland, Indiana
MADavis ELITE, Kentland, Indiana
100 articles 0 photos 5 comments

There was this girl named Landen. She was 16 years old. She never really paid attention to what people thought of her and she kept to herself most of the time. She wasn't an outgoing or a family person. In fact she stayed away from her family most of the time. She was happier by herself rather than hanging out with friends, the few she had. She was the same as any other girl, but she didn't think so. She was always smiling but in the inside she was dying a little more every day.
When she was eleven years old her mother died. That's when she started to not look at the world the same. She feared to get close to anyone because she thought she would lose them also. Her father was a drunk and abused her all the time. She was an only child. Landen was so used to the pain all she could ever say when asked what’s wrong is "I’m fine,” although those words didn't make sense to her. She truly believed that's how life should be and normal life. She tried too hard to be as happy as she could but depression always seemed to take over her. Medication, writing, singing, crying, nothing took away the feeling of being alone away. Could music drowned out the pain? It never did for her. She couldn't escape this awful world. How much does a person have to take before they let go of themselves?
Well, Landen only put up with it a few months after her sixteenth birthday. She tried to take her own life. She attempted many times and yet still couldn't seem to accomplish it. She wondered "why?".. What was her point in the world? She felt alone. She wasn't loved. She was a lonely girl that walked the streets alone. Things slowly crashed more and more. Her father went to rehab to try and get better. He saw every day the pain that she went through. She cried out for help every second of the day. He finally opened his eyes, and poured his heart out the his daughter. Rehab ended and he went back home to his hopeless daughter. He tried to show her that she wasn't alone. She didn't accept his love though. She still continued to stay to herself. She didn't have him her whole life and she didn't feel like she needed him now either.
She turned to drugs. That was her only escape that made her world darker than it already was and she could cooperate with. No one knew the drugs that she took. She wouldn't tell. She overdosed once. Her life was a matter of minutes from being gone. Her dad saved her life at the time. He walked in and knew she wasn't breathing. The ambulance came and she was rushed to the emergency room. Her stomach got pumped and then she was able to return back home. Her father then cried and begged for her love. She didn't seem to know how to show she loved anyone or to know that affection. Love didn't exist in her world.
She did drugs for two months and then she noticed her dad was back drinking again. He ended up killing himself. He felt lost. They were both depressed. She walked in and her father was laying on the ground with a note. She couldn't get the nerve to pick the letter up and read it. She sat there and cried. Both her mom and dad were dead. She had nothing to look forward too. Nothing more could be lost than she already lost. She thought and wondered why she couldn't love or show any type of feelings. That caused her to lose her dad. She didn't want to be there anymore. Never push away ones that love you even if they don't show it all the time. Landen was found on April 20th dead. She had hung herself in the school bathroom. Her pain was then gone. Her worries were all faded.


The author's comments:
Terry C.

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