"I'll see you next time." Jasmine said to Jeremy as she gave him a hug. They both knew that next time would be in a long time. Jasmine lived far away, continents away; and it was rare that they spent as much time as they had this time.

"Yeah, it was so nice seeing you! Drive save!" Jeremy replies, giving her a bear hug. He was cheerful as he always was. Never seeing the bad in people, never thinking of the worst. Always hoping, always wishing.

There were so many things she wanted to say but couldn't. All too soon her sister, her brother and her mother were in the car and driving away.

It's funny, because she never cried. Even though he was the person she thought of the most, she never cried when they said goodbye. Even though he was the one that made her hurt the most, she never showed him- she couldn't. She cried alone, and put on a brave face in front of him.

The car drives away and she looks back, not letting herself feel tears. They wave and smile and she's torn apart by the thought that she won't see them for years. So much can happen in that time, as she witnessed in these past few weeks. So much could change, and yet be exactly the same.


The plane ride was always the hardest part, even harder then leaving him. She'd left so many times that she shouldn't break down, but she did. Every time. She couldn't help it, she'd be sitting in her seat and she'd dread when the plane would take off. She'd look out the window and sob. She'd sob at all the time she had lost, all the memories that would never be, the life she knew she would have had if she had stayed. Every time the wheels leave the ground, she has left- and the feeling of emptiness and loneliness returns, a demon gnawing at her heart and soul. It was her home. The place where she belonged, and she was always forced to leave. All her hopes and dreams were tied in that soil, and even though she had no family there and she had no official place, it was her place. The trees, the earth, the waves. They


were her blanket, to keep her warm and wrap her in their safety. The constant bustle, and the loud boisterous people- they were her family. It was the one place in the whole world where her heart could run free.

She could be anything she wanted to be, do anything she wanted to do. The moment she arrived she'd feel a bounce in her step and she'd feel like a child again. It was her wonderland. It was so simple and yet it held the most complicatedly beautiful feelings she had every felt. It was not rich, and yet no money in the world could buy the feeling that she felt when she felt the sun on her back and the sand at her feet. It was not a 'natural' beauty, but it was magnificent. It was a diamond in the rough, and nothing could take it away from her.


As the plane speeds away, farther and farther from herself- she retreats into her soul, locking it away, waiting for the moment when she can unleash it again. She cries, and sobs because she's leaving herself behind, miles away. There's an invisible rope that connects her and it never gives way.


After a while, Jasmine stops. She has no more tears left to cry. She sleeps and tries to dull the pain. Like a stab wound, it takes a long time to heal, and any small movement can tear open the stitches again.


She arrives. She doesn't care, she wishes she did but she doesn't. She arrives and drives 'home'. She drives to the place where her life is here, but not there. The minute she goes through the front door she began counting.

Counting to wonderland.