“I’m leaving.”
“Leaving… what? School?”
“Yes, including you.” The sadness grew on his face.
Lisa’s jaw nearly dropped. “What…What did I do?”
“Nothing.” He squeezed her hand before letting it go and said. “I love you, I always will but I think this is for the best. You deserve more than this. I have no right to involve you in the crazy family business I have to deal with. ”
“I don’t care about any of that and you know it.” She whispered as she clutched at his shirt, forcing him to look right into her eyes.
“No, I still think this is for the best. I’m breaking up with you.”He said. He averted her eyes and started to gently remove himself from her. He turned his back and walked away without even looking back at her. She stared at his Silhouette slowly disappearing into the crowd; she was too devastated to follow.
“I love you and that’s all that matters. I want you part of my life. And breaking up with me like this you destroyed me. You took my heart and ripped it up! Do you know how that feels?” She began to shout, she could not contain my grief and anger any longer. However, he was already gone.
Tears spring to her eyes. She staggered back home. She flopped myself onto bed, tears streaming down her face. She had given him everything, had taken this relationship too seriously now where did it ended her in. In a pile of mass! Lisa took out a box and lifted the lid. She lit the match and slowly burnt every single one of the photos of them. Tears formed in her eyes, but she blinked it away. Satisfaction surge through her entire being as the pictures crumpled into a mass of ash. Watching the ash fall from her hands into the box is like watching the petals of a red rose symbolizing their relationship wilting. She sat on the floor staring into space reminiscing about the wonderful days she had with him.
Lisa heard the door unlock, her brother, Leo had come back home and saw her expressionless face. Concerned, he asked prying into her eyes. “Lisa what’s wrong?” His eyebrows furrowed into a frown. She looked at him, and shook her head. No one would understand how this… feels.
“Lisa” Leo put his hand on hers and said. “Trust me. You know I’ll never let you get hurt not after mum died.” Lisa looked into his eyes and saw the familiarity she had grown up with. She knew then, she could trust him. She told him, everything, pouring out all her grief and sorrow. She cried in his arms as he consoled her.
After Lisa had hold of herself, he began. “Lisa, you should forget the past. He is just a dumbass to ditch you, someone else more worthy of your time, someone who will cherish you would come along. Forget about him. Move on. Well do it together one step at a time. Believe me.” He said with determination, the familiar tone he uses when he is serious about making something work. He extended his hand, offering to pull her up.
Lisa looked into his eyes and saw the affirmation flickering in them. She took his hand, and he pulled her up. Lisa lay on her bed while he told her stories of previous encounters and motivated her to look at the brighter side. She listened and nodded and listened, feeling sleepy. Her eyelids became heavy and soon she dozed off.
The next few weeks, Leo would talk to Lisa before they go to bed. Slowly Lisa started picking herself up with the help of Leo. Just like this weeks passed by, everything was just like this, simple and peaceful, as if it had became a routine. Those painful memories which used to bind to her like a metal chain secured tightly around her wrist began to become less intense. Meanwhile, Leo and Lisa’s kinship ties also got stronger. Until one day everything changed for the worst...
That day Leo had not come home even after 11pm. Lisa got worried. Millions of frightening thoughts echoed in her mind. She shook those thoughts away. She paced up and down her room. Her mind was blank; she did not know what to do.
“Ring…” she picked it up, hoping it was Leo. What Lisa heard shocked the hell out of her. Leo had been involved in a fatal accident and had passed away.
“No!” She could not believe it. She threw the phone on the floor and stamped on it. It had to be a mistake! Lisa chanted it over and over as if it was her mantra. Yes, it must have been a mistake. She told herself. So long as she refused to acknowledge it, she could pretend he was not dead. She immediately rushed to the hospital and demanded to see her brother. She was led into a room. Right outside the door, Lisa was suddenly afraid. She took a deep breath and opened the door.
Lisa looked at Leo. He was the same. He looked like himself, asleep. Everything was unnaturally tidy that was it. She looked at him expecting him to wake up. Her hand accidentally brushed against his. She held onto his hand refusing to let it go, she did not care whether it was allowed. She became oblivious to everything: to the world around her, even time itself. His hand was cold, very cold. Lisa knew then she could pretend no longer. Could not pretend that he would wake up and give her that lazy smile of his. But even then she knew that his spirit would have lingered on, like perfume when the wearer had left the room, still protecting her, loving her.
She told him things. Things she had never had the courage to confess. She told him how much he meant to her. She told him she loves him and would continue to. She told him he deserves peace. She then bent forward and kissed his forehead for the last time. A cold lump in her chest started to melt and she broke down there and then.
The next few days before the funeral, Lisa just sat next to Leo whenever she could and just stare. She did not know what she would do without him, did not even expect him to leave so soon. Not after mum died after giving birth to her, and dad always getting drunk and not coming home. She felt all alone, all alone in this crazy world. No one was left with her, no one that cares. She did not know how she was going to overcome this. Grief and anger that left from the breakup and the death of Leo pile up in Lisa. Depressed she walked home.
Drowning in her own grief, she made the only decision she could. The only thing she could channel all her emotions to. An outlet or release from the grief. She produced a tiny blade from her wardrobe. She cut her left arm slowly and steadily, watching the blood ooze out from the wound, flowing across her pale skin. The cuttings stung terribly, pain surge through her arm, yet doing so she could focus on the physical pain which although unbearable but could distract her from the mental anguish which was even worse.
Drops of blood dripped onto the floor. With a nervous giggle, Lisa started to cut a little deeper. She felt dizzy from seeing blood. Looking at her arm, it was marred with cuts, the kind of cuts that danced with suicide.
She climbed over the window ledge and screamed to the sky,” I’m joining you Leo!” and without turning back, she jumped. She plummeted down to the ground. In the midst of falling she smiled and closed her eyes.