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Dream
This is the story of a dreamer. Do you remember your first dream?
For Aria, the simple moving pictures had captured her and her imagination, and a bouncing lamp had become everything to her.
We all had childhood dreams. Some children were filled with dread every year when a teacher would ask, in a honey-sweet tone, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It was implied that everyone had to give an answer – indecision or wanting to experience life first was not an option. So they would make up a generic answer for the teacher. “A doctor”, they would say. And the teacher would smile, pat them on their heads, and move on.
Aria was different. She was one of the dreamers. And in the beginning, no one doubted them. “Oh, you want to make movies? That’s so cool.” She was right in place with the other aspiring artists, astronauts, big league athletes, and celebrity actors. But the group’s numbers slowly dwindled as the dreamers drifted away to wanting better paying jobs, or simply more achievable jobs.
But she stayed. The realists would come to taunt her, remarking that “artists get paid nothing” and how “it’s too hard to get a job there.” But she would smile back at them, and simply respond “I know.”
Aria did not just wish for her dream. She lived and breathed it. Every day when she walked home, she would look at the trees and their colors and think of capturing their beauty on clean sheets of paper. When she closed her eyes at night, she saw herself creating beautiful works of art and bringing them to life. And in the morning, she would get out a pencil and try, try, try, to recreate the images she had imagined. It never mattered that her drawings could not live up to her visions. She knew that one day, they would. And when she had reached that point, she would already be working on the next big Pixar hit.
Pixar. The word enthralled her. It echoed in her mind like a chant. It was as though the more she repeated it in her head, the closer she would get to achieving it.
She was well into her teenage years when she met Steven. In a dark movie theater, she was watching Pixar’s latest movie, and trying to ignore the obnoxious teenagers behind her discussing how their movies were getting worse. She did not believe it. All she could see was the masterful animation, the beautiful mesh of colors, and the way every movement seemed to contain an emotion. There were great animated movies, and then…there was Pixar. Out of dedication, she had always stayed for the credits. She felt a need to honor all the amazing artists that put together the film, and this was her way of showing it.
A few seats away, a man with a soft voice inquired to her, “Do you know anyone?”
She laughed and smiled at him. “I wish.”
He paused for a second, and then responded. “Actually…” His voice trailed off, before he continued. “I work at Pixar. As an animator.”
Aria’s heartbeat jumped and doubled in rate. “That’s…amazing. It’s my dream job, you know.” Her bright eyes twinkled under the dim movie theater lights.
“Really?” He chuckled. “Well we artists got to stick together.” He got up, and quickly scrawled something on his napkin. “Email me sometime. I’d love to see some of your art.”
Her hand was shaking as she accepted the napkin. “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”
He laughed again. And with a little wave, he was gone.
Aria looked back at the screen, and watched it fade to black. It seemed almost funny that as the movie was ending, the next scene of her life was just beginning.
Over the next few weeks, she emailed back and forth with Steven. The highlight of her day always seemed to be that one small (1) alerting her to Steven’s reply. She eventually worked up the courage to send him her art, and he was a great critic. But soon, the time between his replies stretched longer and longer until Aria eventually stopped anticipating his replies. She never could have been angry at him – he must have been busy. An animator’s life, after all, was grueling.
It was a month later when he replied again. He asked to meet her for some urgent matters, and she could not help but fantasize that it was to offer her a job. With this humorous thought in mind, she went to meet him.
He was waiting for her at a quiet café, where the warm and cozy atmosphere seemed to contrast his disheveled gray clothing. He looked up as she approached, and Aria saw that there were alarming dark circles under his bright eyes. He gave her a half smile, and hoarsely greeted her. “Hey.”
She hesitated before greeting him back. After a pause, she asked, “Are you alright?”
He laughed quietly. “Yeah, I guess. I’m not sick, if that’s what you mean. It’s just…” His voice trailed off, and the silence was filled only with the quiet chatter of the coffee shop. He sighed. “Don’t…get too upset okay?”
Aria’s mind could not even begin to think of what could have gone wrong. It seemed crazy that he would have quit his job, or gotten fired. And would a face to face meeting really have been necessary? But she answered Steven with a strong clear voice and a comforting smile, “I won’t. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Well…I’m not an animator at Pixar.” The sentence hit her like a brick. “I’m a college graduate, and I was making a demo reel to submit to them.” He sighed again, and ran his fingers through his hair, looking even more worn out. “I guess I just wanted so badly to believe that I was going to be one that I told you I was. I didn’t think my demo reel was going to get…rejected.” He cringed at the word then looked into her eyes. “I’m really sorry for lying to you.”
Aria’s world came crashing down. She was no closer to Pixar since that day in the movie theater. She closed her eyes, remembering her dream clearly, before looking back at him. “Hey, it’s fine,” she smiled, “Their website states that you can resubmit every six months. You can keep trying. I know you’ll get in eventually.”
He smiled genuinely at her, and then got up. “Thanks, Aria. But…I think I’d really like to take a break. These last few months have been hard, you know? It really puts everything into perspective.” And with that, he bid her goodbye, and left.
When she got home, she slumped into the chair at her desk. Steven had gotten rejected. Unwelcome thoughts of a future email rejecting her own work filled her mind, and tears rolled down her cheeks, wetting her jacket. Her watery eyes gazed up at her poster of the Pixar logo, and a question loomed darkly in her head. Should I give up?
Years later, Aria stares at a computer screen, sighing as she scrolls through a college admission form. She stops at a certain question. “Please select a potential major.” Choices tumble through her mind, and she looks up to the wall in front of her. There, lies a huge poster that she never had the heart to take down. She turns away, dejected. But as she reflects on her old childhood dream, she feels that persistent hope spark back up in her, and she cannot help but smile. Looking back to the form, with a fire in her eye, she resolutely chooses “Digital Arts.”
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