My heart is pounding fast against my chest. My lungs are burning from over use. My brain is having trouble making coherent thoughts. My life is a train wreck waiting to happen. My name is Devon and I am 18 years too old. Everything seems to be going wrong for me no matter how hard I try. Everyone in the world seems to be another obstacle in my way. No matter what I attempt to do, I fall short. Today, I finally had enough and I started running. Running away? No, more like running towards something. I am running with a purpose. I am clearing my head and giving myself a better life.

Earlier today, I was given my last three tests back. All had big red F’s on them. My principal called me into his office. Mr. Jackson is his name. He is medium height, medium build and has a closely shaven head. As he looked at me through his wide set eyes I could sense his disappointment washing over me. I knew what was coming before it happened. He looked down at me over his big wooden desk and sighed before he started his speech. Slowly, Mr. Jackson explained to me what the school’s policy was on failing students. Since I was failing all of my classes and there was no way to get my grades up to passing, I was not going to be invited back next year. I was just expelled.

I ease up a little bit on my pace as I exit the woods I was running in. Now, I am entering a small clearing with railroad tracks running from east to west. Delighted, I see a small grass strip running parallel to the tracks. I head over and star running on the grass. Now that I am running next the tracks there are no trees to block the cool breeze. Along with the crisp night air, the cool breeze gives me a layer of goose bumps; but I don’t really care. I am almost to my destination. My journey is almost complete.

After the meeting with my principal, I started my slow trudge home. I didn’t want to face my parents. By now, they would have gotten the call informing them that I was flunking out. I didn’t want to face them so soon after I received the news myself. I couldn’t take it. After about a minute I hear a loud engine behind me. I swear to myself silently knowing the noise too well. It was the noise of a red 1972 convertible mustang with a long white racing stripe on each side. It was the noise of Brian Cooper. Brian has been bullying me since first grade. Back then all I received were spitballs in my face, but now I am also privileged to daily beatings and verbal harassment. Brian informs me that he heard about my expulsion and he was deeply sorry to hear about it. I swallowed my pride and walked a way. What a dick.

I inch closer to the tracks as I speed up my pace. Everything is starting to hurt but I do not mind. The hurt feels nice and I know that I will not be hurting for much longer. By now, all of the coldness in my limbs has disappeared and there is a thin layer of sweat starting to form on my body. Up ahead a light appears and as I squint into it, a deep sense of calm envelopes me. I am very surprised by this but I accept it with open arms. Up ahead I can see my final destination and I sigh. I do not know what my sigh represents. It could mean that I am tired of thinking, or it could mean that I am bored of running. I believe that neither is true. I sigh because I am very tired and my long journey is almost at an end.

Shortly after my encounter with Brian, I arrived at home. As soon as I stepped into the door, I was bombarded by disappointed looks and yelling. At first, the yelling tore through my very being and it upset me greatly; but all of a sudden, I stopped caring. For the next few hours, I seemed to be in a trance. Numb to the world, I cleaned my room and told my parents that I was sorry for all of the pain I had caused them. I still loved my parents and I didn’t want them to have too much work once I was gone. It wasn’t their fault. Once darkness arrived, I laced up my running shoes and sprinted out my door.

Step by step I glide across the grass. The approaching train seems to be speeding up as it barrels toward me. Its big metal engine rumbles and a piercing whistle echoes through the night. My eyes are squinted shut and my ears are ringing. Soon, I can rest far away from all of my troubles. My feet get closer and closer to the cold metal rail of the train tracks. There are only a few meters left. There are only a few seconds left. My feet come up right next to the track and I smile. I have never been so sure of something in my entire life. I am fully in control of my destiny and I feel the power of control coursing through my veins. Satisfied, I step over the rail.

In the second following I realize that I have made a mistake. Stepping over the rail changed my entire outlook of the world. The action of stepping over the metal boundary cleared my vision. Once, I saw everyone in the world as antagonists and villains. Now, I see them for what they were. Everyone was just trying to help me. My teachers cared, my parents loved me, and my bullies were just taking out their own failures on me. The moment my foot hit the rough wood surface between the metal rails I forgave the world. I even forgave myself for everything wrong I have done throughout my lifetime. The very instant I got what I wanted; I wished that I could take it back.