Marcus was drowning in his thoughts, the blades were calling his name they were telling him they could make it all better. The voices in his head were replaying the names that he had been called that day: worthless, a freak, stupid, emo, gay, and a waste of space. He was crying just has he did every night, he couldn’t take it anymore so he grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and began to write.
Dear whoever reads this,

The roses may have been red but the violets are dying, on the outside I was smiling, but inside I was crying. I feel so alone. I know that suicide is a terrible thing but then again so am I. Sadness can kill. In reality it took me a long time ago, it left behind an empty person. It is amazing what you can hide by just putting on a smile. I was told I should get rid of whatever is bringing me down, so I guess it is time to get rid of myself.
To my parents I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect son you wanted. I’m sorry I am such a disappointment. I’m sorry I am such a freak that will never be good enough. I hope that one day you will see I tried to be everything that you wanted and just wanted to make you proud so rather than have you deal with a worthless son anymore I had to leave here. To my friends I’m sorry I couldn’t be happy. I’m sorry I finally broke. I am sorry I can’t be the person you guys need me to be. I am sorry that I just couldn’t act happy for you all, but I just can’t live this life anymore. Goodbye…





-Marcus Anthony-Smith
Marcus snuck down to his parent’s room and grabbed a bottle of pills. When he got back to his room, he drug the blade into his skin and began swallowing one pill after another and another and another. He began floating in and out of sleep until he saw the light.
But Marcus woke up, he woke up in the hospital hearing a girl’s voice speaking to him. She was saying, “Marcus please please wake up. I know this world is cold but you don’t have to go. Someday things are going to change and you should be around to see that. I know you may not know who I am but I sit across the room from you in English. I heard about what happened to you and I haven’t left your side since, please Marcus wake up. I know that you’re a great guy and I know what it feels like to lose someone to suicide. I lost my sister two years ago. Please don’t do this, you’re stronger than you think”. And with that Marcus turned his head and opened his eyes.
Abigail just stared back. “Why are you here?” Marcus asked. Abigail replied “like I said I lost my sister and I wasn’t about to sit around and watch someone I know go the same way she did. Why did you do it?” Marcus replied, “I didn’t see a reason to live anymore.” “Well I can promise you that though you’re life may seem terrible you have no reason to die either. And I am going to show you that because strength doesn’t come from what you can do it comes from overcoming things that you can’t,” said Abigail as she walked away.
She came back from eating dinner and they talked the whole night. As she was walking out to go home to sleep Abigail turned around and said, “Marcus I hope you always find a reason to smile because you are better than the blade. You’re not a monster. You are not the disappointment that your parents say you are. You are a fallen angel. “Marcus didn’t know what to think about that day. He didn’t think he would even be here to have that conversation. He didn’t know why she came, but he felt better with her around he still wasn’t happy but something had sparked inside him.
That was the first night in years that Marcus didn’t cry himself to sleep. Abigail had a secret of her own though and she just hoped that things would get better so she wouldn’t end up letting Marcus down. She had promised to be there for Marcus.
She had been in the hospital talking to a doctor, when she heard the call over the intercom. She had only been allowed in his room once Marcus was stable but no one knew if he was going to wake up. She had stayed there for three days even sleeping there to make sure someone would be there when he woke up, she just knew that he was going to. Abigail didn’t know why she felt like she needed to be there for him; she barely even knew him: maybe it was because she hadn’t been there for her sister but perhaps it was something else.
They became inseparable from that day. Marcus got better each day, Abigail felt ok but she wasn’t getting better. She began falling for him. He never knew she wasn’t ok. Marcus began to fall in love with Abigail, she made him happy.
It was four months later when Marcus had finally gotten the courage to ask Abigail out, so he went over to her house. As his car approached he heard the sirens and saw the ambulance leaving her house. He followed it to the hospital. Once he got there no one would tell him what would happen, but he could tell from the way the nurses looked when they walked in and out it couldn’t have been good. Finally, Marcus cornered her dad when he was walking to the bathroom. “What happened to Abigail”, Marcus yelled. “You didn’t know did you? She never told you did she?” questioned Abigail’s father. “Knew what?” asked Marcus. “Son she had lung cancer. She was having a hard time breathing, then she died on the way here, they did everything they could my boy I’m sorry,” explained Abigail’s father. They both broke down into tears and held each other in the hallway as they cried over a girl they both loved in their own special way. Then her father pulled out a note from his pocket, handed it to Marcus and walked away not uttering another word.
It was a letter to him written by Abigail that read:
Dear Marcus,










Roses are red, violets are blue, and you need to smile because it looks good on you. If you are reading this than I’m gone. I love you and I know that you love me too. I’m sure you were going to tell me eventually but it is ok. I’m sorry for not telling you but I couldn’t find the courage or the right way to tell you. I’m glad I met you and every day I spent with you was the best day of my life. All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you. You made me feel things I’ve never felt before, like what it is like to be in love.
Don’t let anyone dull the sparkle in your eye. Never give up because strong walls only shake they never collapse. Please don’t do anything stupid because you miss me. I don’t tell you how much pain I would feel to see you hurt yourself again. Please stay strong for me.
-
love always Abigail Marie Connors
Marcus went on with his days just as he knew Abigail would want him to, though it was hard and often he broke down into tears. It was a year later when he went to visit her grave with a letter in his hand.
My Dearest Abigail,

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you. I still miss you. I really do love you. I’m sorry I haven’t come by to visit you in a while but I definitely haven’t forgotten about you. I’m going to college next year and I’m going to become a counselor for teens like me that need someone to talk to. Hopefully I can help someone the way you helped me. Thank you for showing me that imperfection is beautiful and that it’s ok not to be perfect, I’ve made sure to smile every day even though it is still really hard.
-
Love your fallen angel Marcus.
He sat by her tombstone and cried for a while. Then he set the letter down along with some flowers and walked away just as the sun began to fade.