I hear a loud knock at the door, I stand up from my seat near the fire, and head towards the door. I can hear my two little boys fighting with each other in the other room, one cries as their wrestling becomes a little too rough. My sweet little girl Vivian sings with a perfect soprano stopping as I walk by her perched on her cot. Then just as I reach the door the baby begins wailing with a constant need for attention. My head throbs as I open the door, the cold draft invades our little home and I get the chills. I look up and see a police officer standing in the doorway.

“Ms. Franklin, how are you today?” asks the officer “I’m Detective Jensen.”

“Can I help you?” I ask

“I was wondering if you would be open to sharing your story of the events that transpired some two months ago, on the night of October 29?” he inquired his face remaining open and direct.

“Yes, but if you would excuse me my youngest is crying, however please do come in and make yourself at home in the family room,” I say as I rush to my newest daughter, gently scooping her up in my arms rocking her soothingly. I make my way into the family room and sit in a rocking chair across from the Detective. “Where would you like me to start,” I ask making myself comfortable in my chair.

“Just start at the beginning and we will go from there,” he says smiling encouragingly at me.

I sigh and begin “It was a chilly night a few days before Halloween, when my husband Peter got home from work we all gathered around our sun faded oak table for a family dinner. Peter seemed very quiet like he was sacred, or had something bad to tell me. I tried asking him about it, but all he did was look at me and say “there’s nothing to discuss right now” and then he continued to stare at his plate full of chicken and potatoes, pretending to eat.

“Charlie, those peas are meant to be eaten, not played with,” I scold my oldest, twin son as he was forming them around his plate.

“Sorry, mother,” the four year old whined. I felt as if the quietness of Peter had caused a sort of awkwardness throughout the family, but I didn’t want to bring anything up until later when the kids were in bed.

“Is there something wrong with your chicken, Peter?” But he didn’t answer, he just looked at me with sorrow in his eyes.

As the children were finishing up their dinner I washed them up and started to get them ready for bed, but Peter still sat at the table with a plate full of food in front of him.

“Daddy, please come read us the story about the wittle white wabbit again! Please, please!” begged our only daughter, Vivian, while I was changing her into her nightgown. But Peter wouldn’t even read to them. I found this surprising because he reads to the children almost every night before bed.


____


After the children were in bed and asleep I sat on the chair in the corner of our bedroom taking off my stockings. I asked “Peter, what is the matter with you? You seem so upset, dear.”

“Emily, I lost my job today,” I watched as tears started to form in his eyes, “the stock market crashed this morning.”

I was in shock. I did not know what to say or think. By this time Peter was laying in bed. I said “Honey, everything will be alright. Get some sleep and we can talk in the morning,” He didn’t answer.

I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling. It was like a million thoughts were running through my mind at once. What was going to happen now? What about the children? Those two questions flew through my mind. I just layed there pretending to sleep because I knew Peter wasn’t asleep. I could feel him twisting and turning from side to side. He finally got up and walked out of the room.


____

As I stand there listening to Emily relate our story I relive those few hours so vividly in my mind. I couldn’t sleep. I could only think to myself that my family was going to fall apart. I knew it wasn’t my fault but at the same time I feel like it was. I was the one supporting this family. Putting a roof over their head and food on their plate, what are they going to do without me?

Seeing the look on Emily’s face when I told her I lost my job was the saddest thing. I knew she wasn’t sleeping, that she was just laying there staring at the ceiling. I wondered what she was thinking. Did she blame me? I couldn’t lay there and watch her like that. So, I got up, walked into the kitchen and sat at the table with my face in my hands and cried.

After I straightened up I peeked into the bedroom. Emily was sound asleep, finally. I didn’t want to wake her so I went to the living room and started a fire on the wood stove. As I sat and enjoyed the heat, I began to doze off.


_____


I woke up to the smell of smoke. It is still pretty dark out so I must have just fallen asleep for a little while. Wait, where is Peter? I ran out to the kitchen to see what was going on. I turned around the corner and he was laying on the ground and I watched as the wood stove bursted into flames. “PETER, PETER!” I screamed, “Wake up!”

He opened his eyes and sat up. He didn’t even say anything to me he turned his head and saw the fire as the flames got bigger and bigger. “Get the children.” He finally whispered to me.

I ran into the nursery, woke the twins and told them to get out of bed but don’t leave my side. I then ran to the other side of the room and grabbed ahold of Vivian as she was sound asleep in her bed. I turned around and Willie, the youngest of the twins, was gone. “Charlie where is your brother?” I asked calmly as possible.

“He had to go potty, mommy,” He said as he yawned a big yawn.

I grabbed Charlie’s hand while still holding Vivian and we ran towards the bathroom. I ran out of the room and saw Peter still trying to put the fire out but it just kept getting bigger. He then looked at me and yelled “You guys need to get out of here!” I ran as fast as I could to the toilet to grab Willie. Once I got him I held him in my arms and he started to cry, “Mommy, what is happening?” I didn’t have time to reply. I was busy trying to get the children out of the house and all I could hear was my little girl coughing.

______


When we were finally out of the house I took the kids in my arms to try and comfort them, but how was I supposed to do that when I couldn’t stop crying myself? Every time I looked up I saw Peter standing there watching the house burn to the ground. When the police arrived they immediately took us to their car and we drove off. Peter stayed behind, still watching the flames eat away all we had left.

We got to the police station, an officer told us we would be spending the night there. They offered us a few blankets and glasses of water and the kids fell right to sleep. About an hour passed and I started to feel sharp pains in my stomach but I pushed away the pain. Thats when an officer called me over to him.

“Mrs. Franklin, we found a body in the house. It is your husband.”

“What? No...no... that can’t be.” I was in complete shock. “He was standing next to me outside when you got there, you saw him.” I started to cry and the aches in my stomach got worse and worse.

“Mrs. Franklin, they pulled the body out of the fire less than five minutes after we brought you here. There is no way he could have been standing next to you.”

I just stared at him with disgust. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t stand, I could hardly breathe. He looked at me, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Franklin”, and walked away.

I then saw my children, each sitting curled up on a chair, sound asleep. I started walking towards my sweet angels. I looked down and saw my stomach that was so big I couldn’t even see my feet. Thats when it hit me...I was so worried about everything else, I had forgotten that I was pregnant. The pain in my stomach was the baby. I fell to the cold hard ground. It was happening. The baby was coming.”

As I finish my story I realize there are tears streaming down my face, I wipe my eyes, looking up at the detective and behind his shoulder I see Peter standing there staring into my eyes, he takes a step forward, stops, then turns and walks back through the house disappearing from sight.