I stared at the full-length mirror hanging on my door. Plastering a fake smile on my face, I took another look at my outfit. I wore a long sleeve sweatshirt I recently bought at American Eagle with dark skinny jeans and black flats. After applying my usual routine of make-up, I realized I still looked extremely tired. I sighed and pulled the sleeves over my purplish-blue bruises, noticing how hideous they looked. I tilted my face to the side and ran my fingers on another bruise on my neck. I looked away in disgust as I reached for my scarf and wrapped it around my neck, hiding the bruise. After looking one last time at the mirror, I proceeded downstairs to the kitchen. On the refrigerator was my mom’s daily sticky note held with a bright yellow sunflower-shaped magnet. “Made you waffles! They’re in the microwave! I love you! –Mom” It was finished off with her giant signature heart at the end. I opened the microwave and inside were warm chocolate chip waffles, my favorite breakfast food. The warm aroma of the waffles filled my nose, but I wasn’t even the slightest bit hungry. I tried to take a bite of one of the waffles, just to satisfy my mom when she found the plate, but it seemed like an impossible task. I pushed the plate back into the microwave, shoving the thought of my mom’s disappointed face out of my head. The doorbell chimed, and I grabbed my bag from the living room and headed towards the front door.

“You look like you’re about to travel to Antarctica. Or go on a skiing trip,” Jason joked, planting a warm kiss on my cheek. He gave me his big goofy smile, revealing his dimple on his left cheek. “You do realize it’s seventy degrees today, right?” I ignored his question and walked towards his car, shoving my bag in the backseat. I felt an uneasy tension as he got inside the car. I knew what was about to happen. He sat quietly and faced me, his face stern and serious. “Rylee, you didn’t text me back last night. Don’t tell me you fell asleep again because it wasn’t even six yet.”

I sighed, trying not to sound irritated. “I was tired, Jason. I really was, I fell asleep early.” I pretended to pick off lint from my sweater to avoid eye contact.

“And I’m sure that’s what happened the day before too. And the day before that. And so on.” I could hear the frustration in his voice. I sat quietly, feeling the tension rise. “What’s been going on? You never want to talk to me no more. You barely even see me. You always tell me you’re busy. It’s been like that for the past month. I don’t want to fall apart, Rylee. It’s just that lately I feel like there’s been this big strain on our relationship, and I don’t want to lose you. That’s the last thing I want,” he blurted, his feelings pouring out. His voice cracked, and for a second I thought he was going to cry but he didn’t.

I felt pretty bad, but I didn’t know what to say. I reached over for his hand, intertwining my finger into his. I stared at my pale hand, holding onto his sturdy warm hand. Carefully choosing my words, I murmured to him, “Jason…I’ve just had a rough couple months lately…”

“Do you even know what today is?” he said, softly. I desperately searched in my head for the date and its significance. “Today’s December twelfth. Our two years,” he finally answered. He looked at me, his cold blue eyes piercing into mine.

I looked away in shame. How can you not remember? I thought to myself, angrily. “Jason, you don’t understand. Please. We’ve gone through this plenty of times, and I’ve told you—” I started to say.

“What is that?” Jason interrupted, staring at me as he yanked his hand away from me.

“What?” I mumbled, looking down.

He pulled on my scarf, revealing the bruise on my neck. “Who did that to you?” he whispered, pointing at the bruise.

I looked at him confused, then I realized where the conversation was headed. “Wait, Jason—”

“A guy did that to you?” he shouted as he pounded on the steering wheel with his fist clenched.

“You’ve got to be kidding, Jason! This isn’t what you think it is!” I frantically insisted.

“No, stop. I don’t want to hear any of your crap. This actually makes sense now. You don’t want me anymore. Always being busy, always avoiding me, and always ignoring me.” His voice lowered as he added, “You’ve found someone else.”

I lowered my head into my hands. “You’ve got it all wrong.”

“No, actually you’ve got it all wrong. You really think you can fool me, Rylee? I’m not dumb! Just get out. I don’t want to see you. Go get your new boy to take you to school!” He stared straight ahead, pounding again on the steering wheel. The horn beeped, making me jump.

I sighed, staring at him in disbelief. I couldn’t believe what was happening. There was no point in trying to explain myself. I knew I’d just hurt him by telling him the truth. I decided to just let him believe whatever he wanted to. I heard him sniffle as I got out of the car. I closed the door after me and went back inside the house, not looking back. I climbed into the sofa, hugging my knees to my chest. I turned on the television, trying to focus on the show, but I couldn’t help but think about how all I have been doing lately is hurting the people I loved the most. And it wasn’t even intentional. I shivered, and reached for the nearby blanket I had left on the sofa last night and pulled it over me. My charm bracelet got caught on the blanket, and tried to get it untangled. I took a look at the bracelet that Jason gave me for my birthday, back in March. Slowly, I recalled the memory of that day.

“Rylee! You look…” Jason looked at me for what seemed like another five minutes, and finally exclaimed, “Stunning!”

I felt myself blush as I tucked a long wavy strand of my brown hair behind my ear. I wore a strapless red dress, embroidered with silver gems across the chest. A long black bow was tied across my back, and I wore matching black heels.

“Aren’t you a lucky fella?” my mom chimed in, as she patted her hands on her apron. She faced Jason and whispered into his ear, loud enough for me to hear, “Better treat her like a princess that she is.” I rolled my eyes as Jason grabbed me by the waist.

“Of course I will. She deserves it,” he murmured, smiling at me. “I’ll bring her back around nine.” My mom nodded, and walked back into the kitchen. He whispered in my ear as we made our way to car, “I’m so lucky to be taking out the most beautiful girl out to dinner.”

I kissed him on the cheek. “It doesn’t have to be that fancy new restaurant, Jason.”

“Nope, it’s fine. It’s your birthday, and we have to make your seventeenth birthday worthwhile.” He started the engine and leaned over to kiss my cheek. I sighed loud enough for him to hear as we pulled out of the driveway.

As we pulled up into the packed parking lot of the restaurant, Jason had difficulty finding a parking space. “You could’ve gotten me Taco Bell, and I would’ve been just as happy,” I joked.

Jason gave me a look. “Rylee, it’s fine. It’s something I want to do for you, okay? Just don’t order the most expensive dish on the menu,” he joked back.

After fifteen minutes of searching for a parking space, we finally saw a car pull out and Jason quickly took the spot.

I looked out the window and was astonished by my view. “Jason, oh my— It’s beautiful!” I exclaimed. There was a large lake right beside the restaurant. The full moon glowed brightly, shining against the lake, giving the lake itself a beautiful glow as well. The stars scattered the sky, twinkling brightly. I walked out of the car, admiring the scenery before me.

“Rylee?” Jason mumbled, clearing his throat. He pulled a small black velvet box out of his black dress pants. He stood quietly, and I began to feel nervous.

To lighten the mood, I joked, “You’re not proposing to me, right? Remember that I’m only turning seventeen.”

Jason chuckled. “No, not yet. But I just want you to remember how much you mean to me, and what’s a better way to remember than by wearing it every day?” He opened the box, and inside was a silver charm bracelet.

I ran my fingers through the charms. “Jason, it’s gorgeous!” He grabbed my hand and placed the silver bracelet on my wrist. I examined the charms. There was my birthstone, an anchor, an infinity sign, a feather, and an engraved heart with the letters R&J.

“This one is my favorite.” I showed him the engraved heart and smiled at him.

“Rylee, I love you.” Jason looked straight into my eyes, sending chills down my spine. I felt a warm sensation run over me, and I began to feel my cheeks burn. I didn’t actually realize until that moment that I had stronger feelings for him than I would have ever imagined. As I looked at Jason, I never wanted to even imagine being apart from him. Whether I was being naive or not, I don’t know, but no one and nothing could deny what I was feeling.

He kissed me, holding me tightly towards him, his warm lips pressed against mine.

“I love you too.”


“I can’t do this to him,” I whispered, tears welling up in my eyes. I reached over the sofa and pulled on the curtains, thankful that his car was still in the driveway. I raced outside and opened his car door. He took his head off the steering well and wiped his tears away.

“What do you want?” he mumbled, coldly.

I grabbed his arm, pulling on him to make him stand. When he didn’t budge, I realized how weak I was and stopped.

“It’s important. We need to talk.” I looked at him, pleading with my eyes.

He hesitated and sniffed loudly.

“Please, Jason…” I said, desperately.

He gave an exasperated sigh and finally got up from the car. He followed me into the living room and sat on the sofa, keeping his cold expression on his face. I reached over to take his hand, but he pulled away.

“Jason. I can explain…” I started, but he quickly interrupted me.

“You better hope you can, Rylee.”

I felt the anger build up, but I quickly took a deep breath. “Are you going to let me talk or keep interrupting me?”

He shrugged, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

“As I was saying, I’ve been at the hospital.” I paused, but I felt like if I stopped I would chicken out from telling him what actually has been happening. I decided to pour everything out, right then and there. “I’ve been at the hospital, that’s why I can’t ever see you. I’ve gone to the hospital more times than I can count. I have cancer, Jason. I didn’t want to mention it to you or anyone, because I couldn’t handle having everyone look at me like I’m an abused dog or orphan child or something. I don’t want anyone’s pity. Mom keeps insisting for me to just stay home and not go to school, but all I want is live a normal life for this next year before I—”

“Don’t you dare say it,” Jason whispered. He looked blankly at me, his face turning a pale white color. I began to quickly sputter things out and jumble my words, trying to reassure him, but I knew it was pointless. He began to sob, like I had never seen him cry before, and he suddenly began to hiccup as he bawled. He looked completely vulnerable, and all I wished for at that moment was to protect him. He reached for my arm and pulled my sleeve up, running his warm fingers along the bumps of my bruises. His tears hit my arm as he continually cried, and I knew that no words could comfort him.

Feeling the need to say something, I began to speak again. “Jason, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry you got stuck with the some pathetic girl who can’t even manage to stay awake for more than three hours. I’m sorry you had to hear about this, and I wish I could be stronger. Not for myself, but for you.”

He buried his face in my lap, and I felt him quiver and shake uncontrollably. I began to stroke his hair as he mumbled words that I couldn’t make out. He lifted his head, and in between breaths he whimpered, “You can’t leave me. You can’t. There’s got to be other possibilities. Something. Anything. I’m begging you, Rylee.”

But it wasn’t me that he needed to beg to. Or anyone, for that matter. It’s not like I could just wave a magic wand, and poof! I magically wake up feeling like I could run marathon. But I wasn’t going to tell him that, of course. Not in the condition he was in, anyways. Jason pulled me into his arms, squeezing me tightly. I felt the pain of his tight grip, but I resisted the urge to pull back. This was for him.

After what seemed like an hour of continually hugging me and weeping, he finally seemed drained out. “Rylee…”

I was tired, practically on the verge of passing out. I still managed to answer. “Yes…”

“I love you.”

Those three words echoed in my mind over and over. I thought about how people use those words for granted on a daily basis, never really thinking about when it would be the last day you actually say those words to someone. Those words never really have any meaning until someone realizes that all good things come to an end. That’s when those words actually become vital on a daily basis.

I looked into his blue eyes, and he didn’t even flinch as he stared back at me. His eyes bore into mine. “I’m not giving up on you, Rylee. I can’t make it through without you.”

I felt like a burden, a heavy weight that he had to pull along with him until my last breath. Maybe for my own selfish reasons, I didn’t want him to give up on me although I had already given up on myself.
As I wrapped myself in his tight embrace, I couldn’t help but enjoy that moment where I slowly drifted off to sleep and felt safe in his protective arms. I reminded myself that the pain I was dealing with was only temporary, as temporary as life was on Earth.