I was given a book and told to write, so I am.

I do the same routine, the same routine every single day; wake up, go to school, help my father farm, then sleep. This has been going on and on since I was born. It’s been thirteen years of hard work and devotion to God. I live in Lancaster, Pennsylvania where you smell nothing but cow manure and hard-core pollen; it’s definitely not the place for people with allergies. Tomorrow will be my last day of being my father’s apprentice, and then I am forced to find work in our Amish community. School ends first, then my life. In the Amish community, teens stop going to school once we hit maturity, then we’re off using our trade basically forever. I’ve found myself daydreaming in school everyday, and Mrs. Apple has given me multiple demerits for the “constant irritating tapping” when I don’t recall any tapping at all. I just can’t imagine myself living this life any longer.

Panting and pacing home from school that day is where my life really changed. I just couldn’t go home and work for the rest of the day, I felt weak, felt fragile so I didn’t go at all. I decided to go down to the lake. With my sudden relief my spirits lifted, I began skipping and racing down the hill. Then I noticed I was being followed; A car was slowly following me down the hill, it creped behind me like a lion waiting upon it’s prey. It was an outsider, a man and his family just so happened to get lost in the Amish community. They were lost and came to me for direction. The man’s name was Joe; his daughter was Alex, and wife Claire. He was from New York city, him and his family wore strange colorful clothing, shiny neck bands, and had glowing boxes that they tapped upon with their thumbs. I’ve never seen anything like it! I’ve heard stories of outsiders, but never imagined the day I would see them. I want to know more, this could be my way out. Joe asked me if I knew the way to get to Indiana. I said no, but offered to take them home to my father. I got in the metal dragon where I was interviewed like a criminal! “So what is it like to live around here” asked Alex. I replied with a simple “well its life”; “what do you mean by that?” Well here in the Amish community it’s pretty much the same each day, I’m just lucky god didn't kill me off yet”. They continued to ask about my life, and after a while I noticed I've just done the worst thing any Amish boy could do. I broke the Amish law.

The talked stopped, everything was silent, and suddenly the tapping began again. “It’s just your nerves” Claire said, “Why are you so nervous?” “I’m afraid I’m about to be shunned”. “In this community we’re not allowed to use any technology or anything with a motor! If I anyone sees me here I’ll be more than in trouble. We have to go back!" Joe and Claire were running low on gas, so there was no possibility of turning back. I got caught. The pastor’s wife noticed me getting in the car by the lake, and by the time I got home my parents already knew. I was charged with going against the Amish laws and shunned for a total of two months.
My father gave Joe and his family directions to Indiana, and as for me I was alone. I got to speak to the outsiders before they left, "what's shunned?" Asked Alex. "Well being shunned, is basically being ignored. I broke the law, and now I pay with silence." "No that's not fair! But why! daddy you can't let him get shunned! This is our fault." Said Alex. "you're right"said Joe. Is there anyway we can take you with us? You are shunned? You can see the outside world, experience life." "I wish I could, but I would get shunned for longer. There's only one time in my entire life where I would ever see the outside world, and for me that's not now." "I'll have no choice but to be ignored, I'll go to church everyday and repent for my forgiveness." From that day on I was the pariah of the town. The belief that I should become unshunned to the community was a complete fallacy. my mother nor father has spoken to me in two weeks, even my friends turned their backs on me. I've been going to church three times a week, and I have worked the farms harder than any other apprentice in the community! I deserve to be unshunned. if no one can see I am trying, why am I here?

Two more weeks have gone by. I started tapping more than usual, faster and faster each day. I don't know why but I can remember Joe's wife Claire mention nerves. I must be going insane from talking to know one for more than 4 weeks. Two more people have gotten shunned since I have, and they both ran away. I've thought about it; I've thought about leaving it all. Running away to a place where I am free and get to make my own decisions, but I'm still too young. I wouldn't survive a day on my own. I have one more week of being shunned. After this everything will be different. I know people will look down upon me, I will still be the pariah of the community. I've never stopped writing in this book, it has all of thoughts, this book is my only friend.
Two more days of being shunned. At this point I rather stay shunned. Its the feeling that gets to you. It's not just being ignored, its being broken down until you feel you have no purpose to live. I’m going insane. The tapping gets faster and I actually notice it now, I can feel myself being thrown into a hole with walls on all sides. I decided to start farming to get my mind off of everything. Its the last days of my punishment, but they feel the longest and the hardest to overcome. No one but me knows what it feels like to go to your own home, and have everyone turn their back on you. While farming today something interesting happened, my mother waved hi to me.
It was through her bedroom window, she waved, smiled; then quickly turned away from me. What does this mean? Is this hope? I thought no one cared for me, and she showed a sign of actual emotion. For a second I just forgot about being shunned, and it felt good. I now know what this whole punishment ment. Its not just to break you down, and make you feel alone. Its to show you that you are loved through the beginning to the end. You are ignored the whole time, but this one wave showed me they cared the whole time.
Its been a year now since I was shunned. The tapping stopped, and I know I belong here. I will never look down upon my community again. Being shunned showed me how the amish community are like geese. They work together, and when one falls they still work together. It also showed me how good I am with farming, and that going to church everyday wasn't so bad. Yes I almost went completely insane, but I’m still here and stronger than before.
As soon as I was unshunned i was embraced by my community, and not made the pariah. They looked up to me for going through a hard time, like being shunned. All my friends ran up to me, and hugged me. Even my father who ignored me the most told me he loved me. Being shunned was the best thing that ever happened to me. I will never talk to an outsider again.