Mia breathed slow and shaky breaths in a useless attempt to keep from crying. She couldn’t let her family hear her, they’d walk right outside and find her sitting on the porch swing behind their country home and wonder why she’d left the dance so early. Then they’d see the mascara streaks running down her face and the damp circles that stained her perfect gold dress and they’d know he never showed.
She should have known better. He’d treated her horribly all throughout elementary school to high school and now after he’d tried out for the school musical as a dare and landed her role’s love interest, he suddenly liked her? She tried so hard to hold onto the memories of him taunting her for her dark skin or her untamed hair, but he tried harder to erase them. Whether it be his little compliments that made her heart flutter involuntarily, or the way he withheld a little smile after she nailed a monologue. Mia was sure that another part of Ryan surfaced whenever the stage lights were on him, and she liked that.
She couldn’t remember the exact moment her walls came down, just that she awoke one morning to find his car parked outside her house waiting to take her to school and that it had been for weeks and that when he reached for her hand in the hallways she took it without missing a beat. And it wasn’t some huge obstacle she had to overcome or emotional triumph, letting him in, she didn’t even need to think about it. It angered her in the beginning, she thought that it meant she was weak. But with every touch or kiss or gaze, she realized that it was supposed to be that way, effortless and terrifying.
But lying there on that worn and abandoned porch swing buried in grass, she wasn’t so sure. In fact she was certain that it had all been a lie, and the sad thing was that Mia was more upset with herself for being so naive then she was at Ryan for betraying her. Tears welled in her eyes as she thought of him off somewhere having a good laugh with his friends.

Ryan tried to open his eyes, but one of them was swollen shut and the other’s vision was so blurred and painful that it might as well be closed too. Only ringing could be heard through his left ear and his right ear felt like it had been stuffed with cotton. His head felt heavy and throbbed with his uneven heart beats. He moved his somewhat good eye downward and saw bright red blotches staining the white of his tuxedo. To the side he noticed his hand looked badly bruised and though he could see when it moved he couldn’t feel anything. Then all at once, as if recalling a dream, he remembered the attack. It was different from the others; this one came without warning and he didn’t have any time to protect himself, but he did fight back this time. He could still feel the adrenaline and sheer anger pulsing through his veins. Ryan rolled over onto his stomach and cautiously worked his way to standing, it felt like everything was in slow motion and he felt pain from all over but it was most severe in his stomach. That was Mr. Ellis’s favorite spot.
Leaning on the wall next to his bedroom door, he examined himself for any major injuries. His arms and his legs felt sore but not broken. Although one of his eyes were swollen shut and he may have permanently lost hearing in his left ear, Ryan knew it wasn’t enough. He didn’t have any broken bones, he wasn’t missing any teeth, his spirit hadn’t been depleted, he wasn’t weak or dependent enough to satisfy him. Once Mr. Ellis regained his strength he’d come back to finish the job, and it’d be especially brutal considering Ryan fought back.
Ryan looked around his small room and observed the evidence of their struggle. His dresser was overturned, his lamp broken and scattered before it. His bed sheets were twisted and tumbling off the side of the bed like a waterfall. His backpack was ripped and thrown up against the back wall. Mr. Ellis was looking for his script, but Ryan locked it away in the overturned dresser the day he received it.
Ryan suddenly glanced down at his blood stained tuxedo and remembered why he was wearing it.
“Mia.” he said aloud. The clarity of his voice surprised him, confirming his predictions that Mr. Ellis really was saving his strength for the final blow. Glancing at the clock he headed for his window. The dance began over an hour ago and he knew Mia wouldn’t stick around longer than thirty minutes without him there. He’d be apologizing for months, but he’d get her back. He’d already done it once.
He couldn’t remember the exact moment he decided he liked Mia. Just that one day he looked into her eyes and something inside him lurched. It took a lot to get Mia to even speak to him on a friendly basis and he knew that tonight could very well ruin everything he worked so hard for.
Ryan quickly hoisted himself up and through the window, and as soon as his feet hit the ground he took off running. He ran the entire three miles without stopping once to give his battered body a break. And there were no thoughts of explaining his appearance, only the sound of his laboured breathing and the percussive crunch of his feet against the ground filled his head. But his chest burned when he thought of what she must be thinking of him.
As he neared closer he started to stumble and trip over overgrown grass and fallen branches. He was tiring out and it took everything he had to keep going, because he knew if he stopped even for a moment it would give his mind time to talk him out of it.
Fortunately, he started to see the back of her house peeking through the trees and it was like seeing a lake in the middle of the desert. He slowed as he neared, he could hear her crying. As he stepped out into the clearing behind her house he tried to quiet his panting as not to startle her. She was laying down on an old porch swing, her back toward him. She looked so out of place with her elegant and long gold dress against the dinginess of the porch swing, surrounded by tall weeds and quietly chirping crickets. She looked like a lost princess.

Mia heard the snap of a foot stepping on a twig and sat up as fast as she could. The moon was particularly bright that night and she could make out a figure in the shadows of the trees.
“Hello?” she said, her voice strained from crying. She wasn’t really sure if she should run now and ask questions later but seeing as she was feeling pretty emotionally unstable, Mia figured she could handle whatever came her way. The figure stepped gingerly forward into the moonlight with it’s head hung low. Right away she knew who he was. Although he concealed his face, she recognized the way he picked up his feet when he walked, and the way his arms swung, and she picked out that tux herself.
In one swift motion she was upright and marching over to him. Her eyes felt puffy from crying and her heart heavy with resentment. But a quieter part of her felt absolutely elated to see him, but she’d never let him know that.
“Where were you?!” she said, stopping a few paces away from him. Her voice sounded uneasy and defeated, as another bout of crying pressed on the back of her throat. She swallowed it down.
“I’m sorry,” he replied in a small voice as he stepped away from her, concealing himself in the shadows. She didn’t notice.
“You’re sorry?” the words shot out of her like venom, and she liked it. “I sat at a table like an idiot waiting for you to show up for almost an hour!” she said, swallowing it down again.
Ryan remained quiet. He hated seeing her like this, and he couldn’t lie to her, but he didn’t have the strength to tell her the truth either. He’d never said it aloud before, he wasn’t even sure he knew how to.
“Say something!” she yelled desperately throwing her arms down in front of her. This time she couldn’t bare to swallow it down anymore. As choked cries came out of her she took another step toward him with every intention of giving him a few good shoves, but he took a giant step back, and then reached out one of his long arms from the darkness and grabbed her hand.
“Don’t.” he whispered through clenched teeth, dropping his head. Mia felt her heartbeat quicken. His grip was tight, but not painful, and she could feel him trembling behind it. As if whatever he was hiding was putting up a fight to get out.
“What is it?” Mia asked, all traces of anger gone. Ryan took a deep breath, but still remained silent, his head hung low. He’d lived this scene in all of his worst nightmares, but they were nothing like the real thing. His subconscious mind could never capture the way his tongue felt like it belonged to someone else whenever he tried to speak up, or the fear in Mia’s teary eyes as she looked at him.
Now it was Mia’s turn to grab Ryan’s hands. She gently took them both and folded them inside each of hers. She could feel a great deal of tension leave his body. Without a word, she gave them a slight pull and took one step backward into the moonlight, but Ryan resisted. She waited a moment and then tried again, and again he resisted.
“Ryan.” She pleaded. Ryan took another deep breath, feeling helpless. He knew there was no use fighting it, and that keeping any secret from her meant losing her. But he feared the moments after, those dead silent seconds where she took it all in and possibly connected the dots. He thought he’d have more time to formulate a believable answer, or at least been born with a decent ability to lie. But he wasn’t granted either of those luxuries, so the next time Mia pulled, he allowed himself to surrender.
He watched her expression change, but not into the shocked, horrified expression she always had in his nightmares. In reality she looked like stone. The only trace of any emotion was in the high upturn of her eyebrows. Then she let go of his hands.
“Who?” she asked, her voice even and commanding. Ryan quickly averted her gaze.
“I-
“Don’t lie.” she said, her volumed raised. A long overdue confession struggled on Ryan’s lips. He couldn’t see himself actually saying it, especially when he’d spent seventeen years pretending it didn’t happen.
“Look at me.” Mia said closing the small space between them. Ryan was much taller than her and she could feel his breath on her forehead, and she could see the inner fight in his swollen eyes, but she knew he was on the verge of breaking. “Ryan Ellis.” she said one last time, “Who did this to you?”
He held her gaze for what seemed like forever, as he waited for the words to come up from deep inside him. But even as he could taste them on his lips he struggled to find it in himself to speak them. In the end, it was her big brown eyes that pulled them out into the moonlight.
“My father.”