Hi. I guess this is a little awkward since you don't know me. I'm Jayce. I'm 16 years old with brown hair that could either look fine gelled up, or left alone to curl to cover my forehead. I am semi-built and 6'0 on the spot. I'm just an ordinary person, in a dark place, that others call earth. What do you mean by dark place you ask? Why... it depends on the way the world's favors treat you.

"Hey Jayce, is that your boyfriend over there?" said Chad. "Screw off" I said. As I walk through the hallways with my best friend Logan. He knows everything. My secrets, likes, hobbies, and family life. He know I'm bi. He knows my grandparents hate gays. He know I love football. He knows I hate being bullied of something that "I'm not". I have lived up to this double standard my whole life. Not spilling anything until I met him.

Logan is perfect. If you don't already know. He is just shy of 6'0 feet tall, has brown eyes, with blonde hair that short so that it just sticks out little over his forehead. He is built with a six-pack and bigger biceps than I will ever have as he works out every day and maintains at least a 3.3 GPA in high school.

My day continues as I get hurtful comments, that have followed me since the 3rd grade. Ever since that kids knew what the word "gay" meant, but it doesn't matter because I keep going. Nothing ever stopped me. I just get bottling up my feelings.

I get home and the TV is on... My mother is watching a homophobic documentary, so I walk off to the room I share with my brother that doesn't do anything, but play on his game boy all day. So i just go outside and text Logan to pick me up, but of course he has to work out.

This leaves me to my point. Time moves on as I get older, getting further into the closet than anyone has ever seen. Logan ditches me, my heart breaks; I become depressed, lonely, and desperate to meet someone like myself. Of course it won't happen, as I suspected. Now it’s the end of my sophomore year. I have nothing but my "friends and family". One night I went to the suicide hotline. That didn't help. They just do temporary work or bullsh*t the crap out of you. "More people will miss you", "You're just being selfish", "Think of the good", but I realize there is no good.

I find a rope in the garage. I walk upstairs around midnight, there is no going back now. I hang it over the fan and I grab a stool. One foot is off and I can already feel the pressure tighten around my neck. as my trachea get smaller and smaller gasping for the air my lungs, blood and other living organs need. I cough, and i spit. There is blood in my hands. I get back on the stool and realize that I have so much more to live for. Then I double think. Quickly I jump/leap. I'm dying, and within seconds.. I'm out. Done for good. I see myself. I don't know where I am. I just look at my dead body, but when I look down I see no body. "Where am I" I say out loud. No response.

In the morning I still look at the lifeless body that used to be mine. I see my dog walk in... and starts to bark.. Followed by a screaming and crying mother. Mt father comes in after his triple shift and calls the hospital. I see him cry. He never cries. He is comforting my mother he wipes off his check and looks for a death note. My brother walks in... And he faints... he's out like a light. My father finds my note... "I have had a terrible place that god given me on this earth and he can take it back, he has left me with feelings that are uncontrollably filled with fear. My motive... is why you're still reading... Well it was so say I was bi, but not only that... I was dead years ago."

I now see time speed up before my eyes as I lift my hands, I can see social media in front of me as if it was a future computer screen using only my hands as a mouse and the air as my screen.

I see Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. A hash-tag was a worldwide trend, "#Jaycewasnexttobetheface"
Over 500 million people have tried to describe my story, but only one was the truth.

Logan... was the only one that posted anything closely correct upon my death.

His words were " Jayce... was a depressed man on this dark place we call earth. I would know, because these are his words. He was perfect; he was the kicker of the football team and shot a 95% on all of his field goals. He maintained a 4.0 GPA while playing the saxophone and making a state band. Not to mention he loved collecting rocks, he loved to talk about giving gifts and learning from his best teachers. No one knows this. Jayce was perfect, but not even himself could see it. If a death came, someone should be blamed. Choose me. I dropped him as a friend. I left him. I did nothing to help this poor man. I sat and watched like the rest of the world. Blame me."

There I was. Standing there. watching Logan. As he grabbed his father’s glock and pulled the trigger.

Now he's next to me. Watching. We set the standard, now the world can see our pain.

Why be so harsh.

It was nothing.
It was me.

Where are we?

We are in a utopia.
No one can see us
No one can talk to us
No one can bother us
Except each other.

The End.