Dear Diary         7/29/14
I’m so tired. I never thought it would ever be like this. I never thought that this is what it would come to. The world is spinning circles as I wonder how this is happening. It has come to the point where the darkness of the sky blocks out the light of the fluorescent moon. I close my eyes, and all I see is red, which is the same thing that I see when I open them again…How did it come to this?

4/20/14
John: hey bby did u tell ur teammates about us yet? i dont want u hiding our relationship from ur friends anymore its not fair to me or them
Kevin:  Its not as easy as u think especially when u play football U dont hav to worry bout bein teased cuz ur homeskooled but its harder 4 me
John: Plz try baby <3333
Kevin: kk<3

…I never should have said anything to anyone. Maybe it would have never come to this if I hadn’t said anything.  Getting kicked off the team was the worst. My whole life shattered into millions of pieces of sharp glass that would kill anyone who encountered them.  I lost my scholarship, my friends, everyone. Lines begin to blur as my world turns into faint outlines of what it used to be. The bruises and broken bones weren’t as bad as the shots taken at my soul. They hurt the most.
Posted on April 23, 2014
Footballstar5000 DON’T WORRY EVERYONE WE GOT RID OF THAT FA**OT ON THE FOOTBALL TEAM! WE DON’T WANT ANY OF THEIR KIND REPRESENTING  OUR SCHOOL!..#thankgod #safelockerooms
Randomguy53 @footballstar5000 THANK GOD HE’S GONE, ILL START COMING TO THE GAMES AGAIN.
Tylerjames19 HE SHOULD JOIN THE SEWING CLUB! Oh wait, they won’t let him in there either! HES A MOTHERFU**IN FAG!! NO ONE LIKES THAT SISSY!
Footballstar5000 THAT FAG SHOULD JUST DIE, NO ONE LIKES HIM ANYWAYS, NOT EVEN HIS OWN PARENTS LOL #lonleymutherfu**er

…I can’t stand this anymore…  the loneliness…even my parents hate me. They call me a disgrace. It’s making me dizzier and dizzier. The world is turning into one black hole that only spins faster and faster. I can’t walk into school without someone telling me how worthless I am. But they’re right, my parents are right. I am a disgrace. All I can do to get away from it is sleep. The only thing that keeps me awake are the thoughts of John. Holding him, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine. This is the only time I feel at ease with myself. Day after day I lay here, thinking about how I’m not worth it, how I don’t need this anymore…My mind is free from hate only when I’m sleeping. I’m so tired I can’t go out anymore without getting eaten alive. They’re going to kill me. I just can’t do this…I just can’t…
7/19/14
John: Look hev, I cant handle U bein ashamed of being with me.  Im NOT ashamed of bein gay and neither should U. If your gonna be depressed then im breakin up with U.
Kevin: Wait…NO…U dont understand…UR all I have…
John: ITS OVER …im srry

…The words are turning into a jumble before my eyes. I ’m done. I’m not doing this anymore…It’s just not worth it. Soon I’ll be happy, and I’ll be in peace, and I’ll be free.goodbyedifhasodjkahfsdkfjlksajlkjaslkjvckasjcvklxsLKXCjlksxzjclkZJXclkjZXLKjcLKZXjcZXJclkZXclzLkxcnxkcncnncn