Chapter 1

Radley walks in the door after football practice and goes straight to his room for the evening, avoiding any chance of talking to his parents. As he sets his football bag on the floor and closes the door, he begins thinking out loud to himself. “What am I going to do? Zane kissed me today. I liked it, I really liked it, I really like him. But my family. God, why does my family have to be so homophobic? If I tell them they’re going to disown me, or at least hate me. I need to figure out what the hell I’m gonna do. I want to come out, but I'm scared. I'm not sure I can handle my parents reaction, but I can barely handle keeping it in, and now there's Zane. God Zane. I've had a crush on him for years. Is Zane worth it? How the hell am I supposed to make this decision?” Radley says as he hits his wall.

“Radley, what the hell going on in there?!” yells his dad from the kitchen.
“Sorry dad, I lost my balance, I’m gonna call it a night. I’m not really hungry and practice made me really tired.” Radley answers.
With no answer from his dad, Radley strips down and crawls into bed.  He puts his headphones in and blares his music. Even with the music at full volume, it isn’t long before he dozes off.

“Zane, can we talk?” Radley says as he walks up to Zane.
“Yeah, sure babe,” Zane answers, “What’s up?”

“I-i can’t tell my parents. I know we’ve been together for 3 months now, but I just can’t do it...” Radley says.
“I can’t be with you if you are going to stay in the closet. I’m sorry but I can’t handle the stress it puts on our relationship. Why don’t you come find me once we can be a real couple. I know coming out is hard, but you have to. I can’t handle being your secret any longer. I need you to be public about me. I’m sorry. Bye Rads,” Zane says as he turns around and walks away. Radley breathes deeply to keep the tears from flowing as he walks towards the office. He knows he will never make it through the school day now. He has to go home.
As Radley walks home that morning he stops at the little blue house on the corner. As Radley walks up to the door memories of two years ago fill his mind, memories of the times before he got sober. As he walks up the steps the door swings open revealing a familiar face, that of his old dealer, Danny Thomson.

“Aye, Rads! Long time no see, how-” starts Danny as he stands at the door before Radley cuts him off.
“I need a fix. Norco. Now.” Radley says as he pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket.

“Sure man, come on in, and put the money away, this one’s on me, but tell me why you’re suddenly back.” Radley walks inside and starts talking to Danny. Him and Danny talk as though no time had passed since their last visit as Radley tells him everything that is going on, his fear of losing Zane and his fear of coming out.
Much of Radley’s time the next few days is spent at this little blue house. Before he is able to think about what he is doing, Radley notices himself falling back into old habits. Within days of Zane and his talk Radley realizes that his old fix is no longer enough. He goes to Danny and asks for something stronger, Danny gets him to try something new, cocaine. With his body unused to the effects, Radley goes into shock.

Danny stands over him as the world around him goes dark. Radley’s vision becomes nothing more than a vague pin-point in which he sees only Danny’s face. Radley shoots up to a sitting position in bed, breathing heavily and covered in sweat, and says aloud, “I can’t go back down that path, I fought too hard to get clean, to stay clean. I know what I have to do. It’s time for me to come out.”