Dom And Joe | Teen Ink

Dom And Joe

April 8, 2015
By Willman BRONZE, Franklin, Wisconsin
Willman BRONZE, Franklin, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
If you want to be real, be real, be YOURSELF.


Dom walked into his room and threw his bag on the floor and flopped onto his bed, exausted from the events at school throughout the day and having to deal with so many people. Dom reached for the tv remote but it was too far away.

“This place is a damn mess” Snarled his friend Joe who to Dom, doesn’t know how to shut-up.

“Joe just get outa here, this isn’t your room so why would you care?”

Joe looked confused “I thought we were freinds Dom!”

Dom looked up, “We were NEVER ‘Friends’, you just like to barge in whenever and say what you want!”

Joe looked dumbfounded, “Well atleast I Know how to treat a guest!”

Dom sat up, “I do, now get OUT!”

“Fine!” Joe said.

He threw the lamp at the window and walked out the fire escape. Dom layed back down, trying to ignore the cold winter breeze coming in through the window.


The author's comments:

This isn't really an article i know but i'm writing a book and i decided this would be a good piece to show, i was hoping to see what everyone thinks of it and maybe some feedback on what you think about this small piece.


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This article has 2 comments.


Willman BRONZE said...
on Apr. 22 2015 at 10:43 am
Willman BRONZE, Franklin, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
If you want to be real, be real, be YOURSELF.

it's supposed to target 12 to 14 years old, but possibly 15 and 16 if interested. But thanks for the feed back i will edit it.

Hen Per BRONZE said...
on Apr. 17 2015 at 8:49 am
Hen Per BRONZE, Frankford, Minnesota
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
It seems a bit childish unless thats what your going for. If not try changing up the way you are describing someone. For example in the dialoge you wrote looked almost everytime. Switch it up.