Living on the most talked about place on the planet, as you would guess, feels totally fabulous. People want to be me, people try to be me. I mean…who wouldn’t want to be me? Um… no one! I am rich, fabulous, pretty, and popular, what more could one ask for? My posse and I always show up to school in our pink limo, we go to De la Torre country day school, private obviously. People who go to public schools are so unprivileged and truly disgusting. It’s so sad that they are so poor that they cannot pay to go to school and get education. Whenever I pull into school, all of these people are like looking at me. Like..yeah I get it that you want to be me, but no need to stare and take photographs. I am like famous here, everyone knows about me, and if you do not, then you are probably a no body. I do not think people realize how hard it is to be me. I have to have constant negotiations with my dad asking for more, hours of shopping, pay someone to do my homework, maintain a 100 pound body weight, and look fabulous at all times.
The way you get into this “A-list” posse is practically impossible. Many decades ago, in the 20th century, Claire Van de Hill came to De la Toree country day and started the monarchy. She was always fabulous and followed the “A-list” rules and guidelines. Ever since then, each year, one member is chosen and must pick three more others to help her rule her dynasty at De la Toree country day. Clearly, I was the one they chose to pass the crown on to. If it were anyone else, I would be appalled, and make sure that daddy sue them. It took a long time to interview and see which three lucky girls I would pick to help me rule the new dynasty at De la Torre. I chose Madison Archif, Lucy Wannabel, and Hailie Carvalt, the three most popular girls, closest to me. Anyways..back to more about me specifically.
People do not realize the hardship of being me. Every week, I have a specific routine. I get my nails done with Patty on Mondays, go to the mall Tuesday-Thursday, and on Friday I indulge myself in a massage and facial at our country day club. People that do their nails themselves are such peasants, I mean..who cannot afford $40 a week to spare to personal nail beauty. Daddy’s rich, but still, is it really hard for one to scrape up money for $40 for nails, $1000 for clothes a day, and $300 treatments at the spa at the country day club? Of course we do not have time to do homework, so we pay little Jonny to do it…what a loser.  Don’t forget that on Saturdays we go to the country day and drink strawberry daiquiris and flirt with the cute boys. Ew, last time we were there, and these other girls were too, they all had glasses, and cheap Michael Kors sunglasses. One, can they not afford laser eye treatment, and two, can they not at least wear Prada sunglasses? It is a disgrace to their eyes! They must be soooooo embarrassed! I would be. No wonder they were not chosen to rule the next dynasty at De la Torre country day school. Whatever, they are not on the “A-list.” I should get them kicked out of the country club, they can leave with their C-class Mercedes Benz. They aren’t rich enough to be attending the country club, they must have like some kind of scholarship or whatever it’s called.