Things better not to know

  “Are you free on Saturday?”
  “No.”
  “Why? We could watch a film.”
  “I don’t have time.”

That is a simple explanation and I know she will not change her mind. My best friend, Kelly, looks at me with her big, blue eyes. I haven’t ever seen more beautiful eyes. Kelly is new at school and somehow different. Her long, brown hair covers her ears with the ear piercings. One thing that Kelly makes different is that she always says the truth no matter what it is. She doesn’t like it to explain things or make things more beautiful than they are. Kelly and I met often at my home but that changed recently. We never met at her home because she didn’t want to and that is okay for me but now she doesn’t want to meet anymore. Kelly always says, “I am not free” or “I don’t have time”. There are never explanations why she has no time. I know that something is wrong, but when I ask her she always says, “Nothing”. It’s  like Kelly is going in a cave and doesn’t want to come out anymore.

Today it is really hot and I am standing with Kelly alone in the school because it is late and all students went home but I want to talk to her. She looks confused.
I am starting carefully, “Listen, I know something is wrong.”
  “How do you know? I don’t want to talk about that. I have to go home.”
Now, I am confused. I didn’t expect that answer.
   “Come on! What is going on? Please tell me.” I continue asking, because I really want to know.
She stares at me. Then I realize tears in her eyes.
  “No!”, she answers and then, suddenly she runs away. Slowly I go home, thinking if I did something wrong. I don’t understand the world. Why is she not telling me what’s going on? Why is the world so unfair?

The next morning I feel sick. My head  hurts and I am thinking about not going to school but I have no excuse so I have to go. At Brunch I see Kelly coming in my direction. I want to go away but it is too late and Kelly reaches me. She doesn’t say anything. Looking  at the ground she takes my arm and gives me a small, folded paper. I want to say something but at the next moment she turns away, not looking at me. I open the paper and see her clear handwriting.

I am sorry!
I have to meet you today at 4 p.m. in front of the school.
PLEASE!

I look at the paper, then at the direction she went away and decide that I will come.
At 4 p.m. I come to school and see her, nervously waiting for me.
  “Hi”. She turns around and answers, “I am so happy that you came. Really I am sorry that I didn’t tell you but now come. I have to show you something.”
We go a street down, then we turn left and reach a house. It is not big and the walls are yellow. Kelly tells me, “That is my home. My parents aren’t here today. Come in! I want to show you my room.”
We go in and I see a large living room with a red sofa and a big television.
Kelly goes straight into the next room on the right side of the house. When I follow her I am really surprised. In the middle of the room stands a big bed and in the corner is a desk with weird books on it. I read one of the titles and it says The Moon is bright when the sun is gone. On all of the walls are pictures from the moon or fantasy stuff like dragons. There are so many things on the walls that you almost can’t see them anymore. Kelly sits on her bed and offers me a seat next to her.
  “Ok, I think I should begin.”, she starts. I can see that she is really nervous but I try to look friendly and interested. So she continues, “I hope you will not think that I am weird or dangerous. Since my fourth birthday I can do this. I don’t know but I can…”, she stops.
  “What?”
  “ I can see the future.” Kelly looks at me and I am just sitting here, on her bed, and trying to say something but I don’t know what. I expected almost everything but not that.

  “But that is fantastic! It has to be so cool! And you can see everything that will happen?” It is ten minutes later and I am really excited because I think it is so amazing to see the future. Nobody  else can do this.
“But why is this bad? Why didn’t you tell me?”, I ask, a little bit angry.
  “I was really scared to tell anyone. I thought you would think I am weird or dangerous.” Kelly looks at me and in her face I can see her excuse that it wasn’t because of me.
  “I saw something. I didn’t see it clear but I know that it is something about our friendship.”, she continues. I wonder if She can teach me how to see the future too but when I hear her words, I look  up and ask carefully “What?”, because I want to know what she will say but I am afraid I won’t like it.
  “I didn’t see exactly what it will be but I saw red, the color for anger, and blue, the color for sadness. Maybe we shouldn’t hang out anymore.”, Kelly says and turns her face away from me.
  “What?! Are you serious? How can you say something like that? We can make it! You are my best friend. I will hang out with you because I don’t care what will happen in the future!”, I half scream, half cry.
  “Please, go now.”, she responds quietly.
  “Fine!”, I am so angry that I just want to throw something around. On my way home I am thinking if I was to hard but I can’t believe it. I can’t believe why Kelly wants to give up. My hands are sweaty and my head hurts. I want to lay down in my bed and stay there for the rest of my live.

The next week Kelly and I don’t speak much with each other. We just talk when we have to. It looks like I am really in my bed the whole day and a copy is  going to school for me. I am feeling ill every day and I start to not do my homework anymore because I can’t think about anything. I fail my math test. In Social Studies we have to make a presentation and I have to do it with Kelly. Maybe if I     would know what Kelly feels I wouldn’t be so angry but I can’t help me. I can’t, I can’t, I can’t , is all what I am thinking about. “I can’t help my friends because I am too frustrated . I can’t make my mom happy because I am not good at school anymore. I can’t make the presentation in Social Studies. I can’t be nice to Kelly. It is like a second mind in my head and this mind says, “You can’t!”

  “Nooooo!” I am in my room, trying to do my homework. I am jumping out of my seat and screaming as loud as I can and throwing my books around me. After a time I haven’t enough energy to scream and I lay down on the floor, crying silently. I think my mom thinks that I am going crazy because she heard my screaming but I don’t want to explain anything to my parents. I am not speaking much to my parents anymore. We were  very close and I told them almost everything but now not anymore.
The next morning I am in a hurry because Kelly and I have to present our presentation in Social Studies tomorrow. We want to meet in front of the library to practise but when I arrive there at lunch I can’t see Kelly. I am waiting fifteen minutes till she is coming.
  “Where were you?”
  “I got lunch”, she answers.
  “What!? I waited the whole time! We have to practise.” I am angry again. I don’t want to see her face again but we have to practise.
  “Yes, I am sorry. Let’s start now”, Kelly responds but she doesn’t look very sorry for coming late. So we are starting saying our text. First we begin with we wrote together but then we come to the part where we wrote our text individually. I am saying the second sentence from my own text when Kelly stops me.
  “Wait, what you said is in my text too. I think you have to say something else because I am sure that I had this sentence first.”
  “Are you kidding me? I had this definitely first. I will change nothing!”, I am really angry now.
  “Oh! So do you think I will change my speech? No!”, Kelly’s voice sounds strident so I can hear that she is probably as angry as I am.
  “I am fine that we have almost the same speech. I just want to finish the presentation.”
  “You want to finish quickly because you don’t care about your grade but I  don’t want to get a bad grade just because you are lazy!”, she screams at me.
  “Don’t scream at me!”, I scream back.
  “Go! I don’t want to see you anymore. You are not my friend!”, I can’t believe I said that but I did.
  “Fine”, she whispers, turns around and goes away.

One year later…
It is one year later and we both went our own ways so I am in 8th grade now and have different friends and different hobbies. Sometimes I can see Kelly hanging out with her new friends and a few times I wish that I would be there and have fun with Kelly but then I remember what happened and what she did.
One normal day I see Kelly coming in my direction and remember when she came to  give me the paper with her excuse on it.
  “Hi”,she says, smiling at me.
  “Hi. What are you doing here?”, I ask.
  “Don’t you realized how silly it is that we are not talking to each other anymore? We had a great time together and just because of a little thing we are not talking anymore. That is kind of stupid.” In actual fact I know that she is right but I don’t want to say that I am silly so I respond, “You started!” When I see her face I think she would punch me in my face but she smiles at me and says, “Well, I am pretty sure you started”
I start laughing and I see other people looking at me, wondering if I am okay but I don’t care and continue laughing. Kelly comes to me, gives me a hug and says, “Stop laughing like a hippo.”