I was going to scream until this temporary world fell down around my feet, until I could breathe without gasping and I could finally find the salty tears of relief that had fled me long ago.

I was going to hate myself until the end of time, until I could finally rise above my human stupidity and own generosity.

I was going to love until I graduated from logical thinking and was swallowed by the gaping pit of nonsensical thought, so that I could finally leave fear and pain as merely a dim nightmare.

I was going to prove what I believed to be right until I was shot through the heart, whether by the arrow of another or my own fractured soul bearing a cold, steel symbol of power.

I was going to be proud until my mighty fall from grace and every single temporary thing that has ever given me pleasure was obliterated.

I was going to be jealous until the monster standing inside me had finally abandoned me to peace and I was finally unburdened from my cruel whisperer.

I was going to stand on my own two legs while the rock crumbled around me, until I was mentally incapable and was able to admit my weaknesses to a fellow human and finally, finally seek the help I needed.

The rocks are sharp, but the pain is sharper.  Cliffs are insurmountable, but I was able to stand at the peak of the tallest mountain in my prime, the wonderful days of my tortured youth.

The top of the world, the place where the young and best, where the worst and oldest and most troubled, find their reluctant homes.

The top of the world is home to the prime and primal, until it is no longer.  No longer my home, expelled me into the dark cold of the lower altitudes of thinking and standing.  It took me long to find my footing once again, it forced me to chip away at rock in order to once again find secure holds for my feet.  Like a wicked, eternal game of King of the Mountain.

In King of the Mountain, there is one king.  Is there one supreme dignity  in this horrible game of tallest victories and most devastating defeats?  It will likely be debated until the end of time, though few possess the ability to claim their unfailing accuracy.  I count myself one of the enlightened ones, having been faithfully attentive to those who wished to instruct me when I was a small child.

The mountain discarded me but I was barely fazed, not at all troubled.  I had confidence in my enlightening knowledge, and I knew that the termination of my physical being would conclude at the greatest summit of them all.