Can't Leave Yet | Teen Ink

Can't Leave Yet

February 9, 2016
By KayeIsWriting SILVER, Oxford, Alabama
KayeIsWriting SILVER, Oxford, Alabama
9 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!" - Franklin Roosevelt


   I can't leave yet. Not now. Maybe when I get to high school, but not now. I can't leave yet. I wouldn't be able to. I want to know where I'm going, I'm not sure how to get there. I don't know when I'll get there, so I can't leave yet. I don't know who I'll meet. I don't know what they'll be like, so I can't leave yet. Bu tif I stay, then I never will leave at all. For now, all I know is that I can't leave yet. I can't say goodbye. I suck at keeping calm and drying my own tears. I'm like a baby that can't go to sleep on its own yet. I need someone to help me along and then finally let me go. Do I have to leave yet? Please say no. But I want you to let me go. Where else will I go to? I have no other home than here and the wild, wild outdoors.

   When I was younger, I had dreamed about this for years until I met work, bills, stress and loneliness. Loneliness has been my one true friend for years. It was like an ugly barnacle stuck to the bottom of a rickety wooden ship. I just adjusted to it after a while. I learned how to keep it hidden form prying eyes and spectators. Stress is my mortal enemy though. I couldn't handle it. It tried to tie me down and yell in my face, whisper behind a covering hand, hit the children, hypnotize family members and worse, controlled me for almost ten years. I broke free of it just two or three years ago. I cried and cried. I never want those people back in my life, that stress, those bills, pointless money and the mentally deteriorating loneliness.

   That's why I can't leave yet. I love these people too much. I would die without them if the fighting didn't kill me first. I can't belive I'm saying this, but I think I can just stick it out for now. I like, no, love this place. If there was no fighting, it would be kinda boring here. If there was all love, peace and rainbows, it would be really annoying. This is a balanced family with some life struggles. I don't think I will leave. Just not yet.  


The author's comments:

This is the mindset of someone who is running away from home, or at least planning to. They want to run from the trouble that is happening to them, but they don't want to leave the good family life that they have. ??


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