I think it is safe to say that my house has become a forest. However, it is an ill forest. There are no leaves and there is no grass. Just the brown tree trunks everywhere. Wood is made into many things such as paper, tables, and chairs. In my case though, the forest in my house is made out of cardboard moving boxes.

It will be a week on Tuesday since my parents sat me down and released the big news. My father was offered a job in California and we are moving there in a week. We are leaving the home where I grew up on the Jersey Shore to move to another beach town called Santa Barbara. Everyone is excited for me because they all love California whether they have been there or not. Also, Santa Barbara is a simply a beautiful area full of amazing beaches. Nothing could ever top the Jersey Shore when you have grown up here but I guess the pacific coast can be refreshing.
I feel we are moving at a bad time though. I was having friend problems for awhile and I lacked a lot of confidence. I had finally overcome those two obstacles that affected everything I did. Plus, I met a special someone on the first day of school this year. He is a senior in my spanish class who just moved here from Upstate New York. He is a year older than me but that doesn’t affect my feelings for him. His name is Ben Brimacombe. I still have not told him or any of my friends the big news. However, I plan on telling Ben when we go to the movies after school tomorrow.
I have been packing my belongings in boxes all weekend except for two weeks worth of clothes and other essentials. I have been “focusing” on packing my room but really I just did not want to be near my parents much. They have been in a strange mood ever since they heard the rumors going around South Beach High School, in other words, my school. Supposedly there is a new kid who came here because he was being taunted and bullied in his old school. Not because he was a social outcast or anything, but because he had contracted HIV. My parents went crazy contacting other parents and my school saying how unacceptable this is. But I feel bad for whoever it is because if it is so “unacceptable” here, then where is he “accepted”? No one really knows who the kid is due to the handful of new kids this year, but everyone has their suspicions. Most people say he is a junior but from what I have heard all of the new kids in my grade are shy and “could not hurt a fly”. I don’t understand why of all metaphors they use that one because contracting HIV is different than handling aggression differently. The only good thing about us shipping out to California is that there will no more family dinners that talk about this new kid.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Breakfast was awkward this morning. Yes, dreadful over it being yet another Monday, but this time it was strange. I felt like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I developed a weird vibe when I woke up this morning over the outcome of today. I keep thinking it is going to have something to do with me telling Ben that I am moving away in a few weeks. Whatever it is, it is scaring me. Last time I got this feeling, we found out my cat had a tumor and that my cousin tore his ACL.
    “Mom, I have a weird feeling about today...”
    “Sweetie you are probably just afraid that the boy with the disease is going to touch you. So far he hasn’t! You will be fine,” My mom replied.
    See what I mean? This is all that she talks about. At this point she cares more about me interacting with him than my feelings.
    I gathered my things together and put them in my new Jansport that I got at the mall on Friday with my best friend Emily. Emily has also been a bit on edge lately because of the rumors. She kept saying things like, “What if the boy sees us here at the mall and tries to hit on me and I will not know he is the one!”. But either way I still care about her and how she feels, I mean, she is still my best friend. I am even more afraid to tell Emily the news than Ben, but I’m telling myself Ben is a ‘“practice round” before I tell Em’. Even though in reality I really, really like Ben, and I feel guilty that we hit it off and now I’m leaving potentially forever.
    “See you later, mom! Don’t forget Ben and I are going to the movies later.”
    “Goodbye, Lizzy! I love you!” Those were the last words I heard mom say before I shut the front door behind me. Ben was outside in his dad’s convertible that he drives to school everyday. He brings me to school, out to lunch, and home everyday since he is of legal age to drive. He smiled when he saw me walking towards the car, then proceeded to get out to open my door for me.
    “May I just say, you look beautiful at seven o’clock in the morning.” Ben greeted me. I playfully pushed him back.
    “You’re such a dork,” he kissed my forehead, “Can we go to Dunkin’ Donuts first? I didn’t have time to make coffee this morning.”
    Ben closed my door behind me and said yes to making a coffee run before our first hour classes. On the way, I filled him in on my strange vibe that I got for the day and told him the story of the last time I had this feeling. He reassured me that everything will be okay and if not that he is always there for me. Him saying those two simple things made me feel a lot better than I was feeling, but a bit more guilty for what I have to tell him later tonight.
    We got our coffee and started on our way to school. Ben walked me to first hour pre-calculous and then went to his class. I was focused on my work the whole period and didn’t have time to think of anything else which was good. My mind didn’t even have a chance to wander and bring me back into a fearful mood. After pre-calc, I had Study Hall with Emily which was always fun. I even brought munchkins from the Dunkin’ run this morning for us to share. We both brought in treats every so often to munch on while we talked our heads off. I don’t see her much throughout the day and I am out for lunch, so study hall is or opportunity to catch up besides texting and hanging out. Ben and I were keeping our flirtationship on the down low and I was planning on telling her all about him and how sweet he is and how happy he makes me.
    “Liz, I got information!” Emily screamed across the study hall area. I put my finger over my mouth gesturing for her to shut her loud mouth.
    “But first, I have munchkins for us to MUNCH on!” Emily laughed at my silly pun, “and second you better tell me everything after the call attendance!” The called through all twenty-six names, and Emily and I were called last like always. Elizabeth Yeger and Emily Zean.
    “Alright Elizabeth, I got a lead to who the boy with… you know,” she whispers, “HIV”, then continues at a normal volume, “is!” I stared at her intrigued, and she then continued. “I heard that the boy is in Sra. Lopez’s second period spanish class.”
“Emily that is my class!”
“I am well aware of that! Who are all the new kids in your spanish class?”
Uh-oh. There is only one new kid in my spanish class and it is the boy that is taking me out to the movies later. I started to not feel so well. Ben? My Ben? The boy that is gentleman to me and cares about me and likes me? The one that drives me to school everyday? That can not possibly be! He would have told me if the rumors were all about him, right? I felt light headed. I faintly heard something and it increasingly got louder.
    “L-y, L-zy, he-lo, ear-h to Li-zy, Lizzy! Girl, snap out of it!” I finally came back to my senses.
    “Sorry Em’, I just zoned out a bit.”
    “You think! What was that all about?”
    “Well there is one new kid in my spanish class, but I have gotten pretty close to him since school started.”
    “Liz, don’t be so scared, it isn’t like you two are in love! Now THAT would be scary.”
    Now is the time to tell her, right? How do i say it? ‘Emily… he is kinda like my boyfriend’, or ‘about that’. Alright, I got this.
    “Em’, I was planning on telling you something today.”
    “No Liz, don’t tell me. You can’t possibly be with HIV boy.”
    “His name is not HIV boy, it is Ben! He is such a gentleman to me and makes me so happy. He is a senior who moved here from Upstate New York. I believe by now he would have admitted to me that the rumors were about him. He wouldn’t lie to me.” I was frustrated. I was so upset, I did not expect her to react this way.
    “What? Do you think I am lying to you then? You are my best friend.”
    “Emily why are you believing all these rumors? There is a chance that no one even has HIV, or that someone thought, ‘Oh hey, there’s a new kid. Let’s tell people he is the one who has it.’ I wanted to tell you something positive today but now it has turned to the opposite. No one knows the truth, don’t be one to point fingers.”
    “Listen, Lizzy, I’m sorry. I am just afraid for you, okay? Tell me more about Mr. Perfect then.” Emily finished with a smile. I started telling her everything about me and Ben so far and  we had a much better time the rest of the hour.
    Later on, the bell rang and I went to Spanish. I didn’t want to mention anything to Ben about what Emily told me until after school, so I just pretended that I didn’t hear anything. After class we went out to lunch, but I didn’t have anymore patience. We went to get sushi at Sushi Rox, and once we sat down I told him I had a question.
    “Ask away, I am an open book.” Ben responded.
    “Emily heard somewhere that the new kid in my spanish class is the one the rumors are about. You know, the person with HIV.”
    “Okay… and?” Ben was looking for the rest of my thought that pained me to say.
    “Well, you are the only new kid in our spanish class.”
    “To me, everyone in my spanish class is new.” Ben laughed at his lame new kid joke.
    “Ben, I’m serious! Why are people saying that about you?” I started to get the feeling that he was avoiding the topic.
    “Relax babe, rumors are called rumors for a reason. They aren’t true! They could have said this about any new kid but I guess someone just decided to pick on me. Also, why would I have not told you about it this whole time?”
    What he thought is exactly what I had expected. High schoolers love drama and rumors, so why wouldn’t they come up with something stupid like this? Once again, Ben made me feel more secure and we continued on with our lunch like usual. The rest of the day flew by and before I knew it Ben and I were back in the car on our way to see Hope the Hero, which just came out in theatres.
    We got there plenty of time before the movie started so we got enough movie trailers in for one night. But I felt that was the best time to tell him about next week.
    “Ben, I need to tell you something.” I had a blank but scared look on my face. He could tell my news was not going to be something great like world peace.
    “I’m all ears.” He replied with a smile. His smile made me feel even more guilty. He knows it won’t be great news so he tried to cheer me up with his smile but it did not work.
    “My dad was offered a new job in Santa Barbara, California and he could not resist it. Which means We have to leave next week.” Ben’s face went blank. He was silent. He looked down and reached for my hand with a disappointing look. He rubbed my hand with his thumb and shook his head a bit. “Ben, please say something.”
    “I just- I just was not expecting you to say that. Elizabeth I have strong feelings for you, and now you’re leaving me.” He looked so upset. It killed me inside that I had to bear him this news.
    “I really like you too. If it was up to me I would stay here with you but I can’t. I’m sorry.” The lights began to dim to indicate the movie will be starting soon. “So now what?” I asked, “Would it hurt you to continue on like we have been and then me getting up all at once and leaving? Or should we stop while we are ahead?”
Ben made eye contact with me once again, he then proceeded to lean in and kiss me. “I think we should make the most of the time we have left.” I agreed, and then we both turned to the screen where the movie was beginning.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I believe Ben, I do, but something is holding me back. I am not sure what but ever since yesterday I have had an uncomfortable feeling inside. Anyways, it is only tuesday and I have a week left here in New Jersey.
    “Morning Mom,” I greeted her as I walked into the kitchen this foggy morning. She made both of us a farmer’s breakfast and we sat down together to eat it. We went over a few things on the to-do list for the upcoming week, then I went to finish getting ready. As I was packing my books into my backpack, I saw my phone light up on my bed. It was Ben saying he was outside. I looked out my window and saw him in his car in my driveway and froze for a second. I am not sure why, but I was taken back. I was about to get in the car with him, but I can’t act strange. I grabbed my Jansport, went downstairs, said goodbye to my mom, and walked out the door.
    Ben did what he does every morning; he gets out of the car to greet me and open my door for me. I turned on the radio once we got in the car to hopefully minimize talking. He asked if I was alright but I just told him I did not get much sleep last night. We walked to my first hour science class, then he went to his class. I had algebra after science, then study hall with Emily. The day just felt like it was so long.
    Algebra just ended and I started walking to study hall. I went to sit down next to Emily but she didn’t acknowledge me.
    “Hey Em’, are you alright?” She seemed upset and once again did not even look at me or react. “Did you hear me? Hello? I’m talking to you.” She looked up from glancing at her nails but looked the other way. I got the hint loud and clear that she was ignoring me. “Listen, I don’t understand why you are doing this. But whatever it is I’m concerned and if I did something wrong, I’m sorry.”
    “Why Liz? Why did you not tell me?” Emily finally responded.
    “Tell you what? Huh?”
    “My mom told me this morning that your mom told her that you’re moving to California next week.”
    “I was planning on telling you-” Emily cut me off.
    “Planning? When were you planning on telling me that my best friend was leaving me FOREVER next week? Less than a week away! Where is my warning?”
    “Come on, you can’t be serious. I haven’t even accepted the fact that I am leaving my home that I grew up in because of my dad’s stupid job.”
    “His job?” Emily laughed, “That’s cute.”
    “Excuse me?”
    “You didn’t believe that, did you? Your parents flip out  over whoever HIV boy is, they go and complain to other parents, to the school board, and more. Then, your dad just ‘happens’ to get a new job across the country and you’re leaving in a week. Why the rush? Why the move? Don’t you get it?”
    “Em’, what are you trying to say?”
    “I’m saying your parents lied to you, Liz. My mom said the ‘moving because of a new job’ was just a stupid cover up. The real reason you’re leaving is because of the rumors going around.”
    I zoned out again. How could they do that to me? How could they let their paranoia control them and make them leave their life where we live now for a new one because of stupid rumors that can not possibly be true. I saw Emily get up from her seat out of the corner of my eye and leave the room. My eyes got wider as I stared out with a blank mind. I was holding back any tears that I felt come on. I feel so lied to and betrayed by my very own parents.
    Emily didn’t come back for a long time. Once it was a minute before the end of the period, she finally walked into the room to grab her things but did not look at me. The bell then rang. I had to go meet Ben and go out to lunch now, but I lost my appetite completely.
    “Lizzy, what’s wrong?” Ben said as he walked over to me stilling sitting in study hall. I was the last one left. “No offense, but you look horrible and just drained. Is it because of the move next week?”
    “Can we just pick something up for you to eat and then just drive to a park to sit and talk? Or not talk, and just think?” Ben said of course and we started on our way. We never picked anything up for him to eat, but he said it was okay and that I was ‘more important’.
    We got to the park down the road from our high school, and went to lay on the grass. It was the peak of fall so it was a perfect temperature out. Not too hot, and not too cold. I laid with my head on his stomach as he laid with his hand behind his head and the ground for support. After 20 minutes he asked me what was on my mind and I told him the truth. Nothing. Nothing was on my mind. My mind was blank. Then he asked why i started to feel like this because I seemed much better last night at the movies.
    “Emily is mad at me because she found out I was moving from her mom instead of from me.”
    “I thought you were going to tell her today? And how come you guys did not just make up right after like you always do?”
    “I was but she sprung this on me first thing. But why I am really down is because she told me the truth to why I am really moving.”
    “I thought you said it was because of your dad’s new job?”
    “That’s what I thought, but my mom told her mom that that was just a coverup. The real reason is because of the rumors about the boy with HIV. My parents freaked out and were super paranoid and I guess they thought this was the only way to rid their fear.” Ben was quiet.
    We continued to lay there until my alarm went off on my phone to notify us it was time to start heading back to school. On the car ride back he said he was sorry I had to go through all this. Then I apologized to him since he didn’t get to eat anything, and for getting him into all these things in my life. Of course he say things like, “No problem” and “It’s okay!” but I still feel horrible.
    I had trouble focusing in all of my afternoon classes. I met Ben out at his car later on and he drove me home. My mom’s car was in the driveway  meaning I had to face one of the two who betrayed me. Ben wished me luck and I went inside.
    “Hey sweetie! How was school today?” My mom greeted me.
    “Horrible. How do you feel lying to me?” I started to turn to walk up to my room but she stopped me. She walked fast over to me and lightly grabbed my shoulder. “Do NOT touch me! I am disgusted by what you did.”
    “Elizabeth Yeger, be respectful. But, I don’t understand what you’re talking about. What’s going on?”
    “Sorry. I know the truth mom. Give it up. Dad’s new job was just a cover up.”
    “Do you think your father and I are lying to you? He got a new marketing job out in California where he will be paid double what he is now.”
    “Mom, I love it here. This is my home; this is where I grew up. And really, drop the act. That’s not the reason we are moving. It’s because of the stupid rumors that might not even be true.” She looked down and put her hands together. I could tell she felt shame. She looked back up at my tear filled eyes and I quickly turned to head towards my room. I shut the door behind me and laid down on my unmade bed with my face in my pillow.
    I stayed in my room for the rest of the night. At one point my mom came into my room to bring me something to eat, but while she was in the room I did not move from the position I was laying down in or look her way. Around nine o’clock that night I started on my homework and began packing a few more boxes. Inevitably either way I was moving across the country. My dad already has given his two-week notice, and accepted the job in Santa Barbara.
About an hour later I started getting ready for bed. I turned off the lights, laid down, and pulled the covers over me. I was laying on my left side facing the wall with my back to the door. I heard my door open from behind me and the light shining through the doorway on the wall. I did not move. My mom had walked in and sat next to me on my bed with her hand on my side.
“I know you can hear me, but you do not have to say anything back to me if you don’t want to. I just wanted to come and apologize to you. Your father and I are sorry that we made you feel this way and you may be right. They may just be stupid rumors and we may have over reacted a bit. We were just concerned and afraid. You can’t blame us, we are parents, it is our duty. I’ll let you get back to trying to fall asleep. We are sorry and we love you. Goodnight.” My mom kissed the side of my head and walked out closing the door behind her. She spent the whole night with that on her mind. I’m glad she came in and said all that though.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    It is now Wednesday morning, I went downstairs into the kitchen like I do every morning to eat with my mom. My dad leaves for work early every morning so I don’t see him much until dinner time.
    “I love you too, mom” She looked up from cutting fresh strawberries with a shocked look on her face. I smirked a little and she smiled, wiped her hand off, and came to give me a hug. I did however let her know I am still upset and have the feeling of betrayal.
    I ran back up the stairs to get my backpack because Ben was outside. He did the usual greeting and opened the car door for me. When we both got in the car and started backing out of the driveway, he asked me if I was feeling any bit better. I told him everything from last night and this morning. Although I still felt off, I was in a much better state than I was in yesterday.
    I began telling other people in school and my teachers that I am moving next week. They all wished me well, and my teachers finalized my grades so my transcript could clear up. Otherwise, the rest of the week went by quickly and somewhat normally. I kept packing all my things, Ben and I kept doing what we do on a daily basis, my parents and I put all the commotion behind us, and Emily and I hung out more.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    “Hey Ben, what’s up? Didn't I just say goodbye to you?” I said as I picked up the incoming call. It was Tuesday morning and I was headed to the airport with my parents. Ben came to say his last goodbye on his way to school earlier back at the house.
       “I feel so guilty for not saying this sooner.” Ben replied.
       “What are you talking about? Guilty for what?”
       “Rumors aren't only just rumors. I'm sorry.” After Ben said that I immediately hung up the phone.
        I looked up at my mom in the car, “Mom, call a doctor in Santa Barbara. Now!”
        “Now why would I do that?” She had a confused look on her face.
        “Ben was ‘HIV boy’.” Once I said that, mom picked up the phone and made an appointment three hours after we are supposed to arrive.
         The flight went by quickly. I tried to sleep a lot to lose my thoughts but they managed to pop up in my dreams. We then claimed our bags and got a rental car and began on our way to the doctor. We stopped at the famous In-N-Out Burger along the way and as for rumors, they were true. Those burgers and fries were amazing.
          “Elizabeth?” I was sitting in the waiting room when they called my name. “Come on back, I'm Doctor Stevens, I'll be taking care of you today.” We went back into a room and he asked the standard questions every doctor does. He then performed his examinations and said to wait an hour for a response. Mom, dad, and I went back out to the waiting room and when the results are in they are to come and get us.
         “Elizabeth please come back again, alone first.” Why does Doctor Stevens want me alone? Is he going to tell me good news or bad news? “I think you will understand what the results are when I say the next two words, I'm sorry.”
         Tears began rushing down my face. I stayed in the room he brought me into as he went to go tell my parents and then bring them into the room as well. Once they came in, we all agreed to fight this together.
         Mom and dad’s paranoia was a bit extreme but I understand where they were coming from. If only I didn't realize all this too late, I would be HIV negative rather than positive.