It was the day... The day the world was supposed to end. Ironically, it did actually end, my world ended. A piece of me was taken that could never be restored. Just like a scar, it could be covered with makeup, a tattoo, etc, but it will always be there AND you will always know it's there.

My sister’s voice is like silk, so full of life.

I woke up to my sister’s voice, it was empty, dead, very unusual. She asked me to get up and get into the car. I, being the younger sibling, obeyed and so did my little brother.

The car ride to my grandparents seemed awkward. Not between my brother and I, but my sister and us. She knew something that,  we would find out very soon.

The moment of crisis was building up to the climax, and soon it will all come crashing down...

When arrived at the place you could call my doom, I entered the house innocent, believing in a picture perfect ending. Soon as I was exiting the house to head to the next top on destination doom, I was slowly losing pieces of me. Pieces that I didn’t even know existed, some I thought I would never lose.

ARRIVED: Destination Doom

I looked into my mother’s eyes, were where her bright eyes? Why were they so dim? If the moment was frozen and analyzed, you would believe my mother’s world was slipped out from
underneath her, it was the total opposite.

My heart was striped bare, emotions flying from my sister and brother. I stood there emotionless. I wasn’t myself, I was empty.

I wish life’s lessons weren’t so… harsh. A few years later and I am looking for comfort from those I shouldn’t be, trying to fill the emptiness. I didn’t go off of the deep end, but I definitely was knee deep, slowly walking deeper, unable to stop.

At the time I would have called myself a Christian, for the fact of knowing that Jesus Christ is my lord and savior. I just believed, I wasn’t living through Christ. My mother had brought me to a church that allowed homosexuals and crossdressers to come. Personally, it didn’t bother me. We are all of God’s children, it isn’t my place to judge. Though I do not agree with the lifestyle, they still taught me a valuable lesson, forgiveness and no judgement. This is the moment I truly believe I forgave my mother for cheating on my father.

After entering a relationship with an atheist, I was slowly coming to the realization of what it meant to be not just a Christian, but a vessel. A vessel to spread God’s holy name through forgiveness, love, and kindness. Heated arguments about religion would be fought over in my relationship. I needed to follow God’s will, not mine. Soon after he left. I didn’t cry, in fact I was thankful that burden was over.

I was climbing a mountain, reaching for Jesus, occasionally losing my footing, but God reached down and pulled me up. My bible was now not just white pages covered in black and red ink, but yellow, pink, blue… I was studying God’s word and becoming more of who I wanted to be.

I wasn’t just spreading God’s forgiveness, love, and kindness, but I was also preaching to those who didn’t have the privilege of knowing about God. Since then, I have met a man, for what it seems like, God has sent from heaven to me. We grow together through Christ and keep him as the foundation of our relationship.

Having God take hold of my wheel of life, has lead me to see darkness turn into light. God has taken my dry bones and breathed life into me, attached tendons to them, and gave me flesh. Some people don’t dare to lift their dirty hand up to the holy one, afraid of being denied. God wants the broken, the weak, he wants to restore you. He wants to breathe life into you and carry you through the hard times. All you have to do is accept him as your lord and savior and he will restore your soul, despite your faults.