Jesus Cayden I groaned in my head. I wasn’t sure if my little brother splashed water on my face or if I had really been that sweaty. I drag my hand around the sheets trying to brush it against my phone; right under my pillow I see light. I lift it and cover my eyes from being blinded by the light. 3:52 AM. I was downstairs making myself the usually chamomile tea; as manly as I can get. My long brown hair covers my view of my pill bottle. It's been eights months since I switched prescriptions and no progress. I wake up every night, no matter what at the exact same time. I always envy my family for being able to make it the whole night.
Just as I open the bottle to take my recommended two, a small crash comes from outside. In that very second I watch my bottle fall from my left hand onto the ground. My insides get risen in temperature as I contemplate to leave my family alone to fend for themselves or be stupid and go outside. As I remember my parents promised to get me a car for my birthday, I lift my jacket off the hook and head for the back door. With two steps in the dark my third one is followed by a sharp pain in my leg. I move the flashlight from my phone onto my leg and see that our garden gnome has been knocked over and it has cut me. "Ugh", I sigh as I hop my way further to my tree house. There's a small light coming from the top. I haven't been up there since I was 12 so that now makes 6 years. My no girls allowed sign has been rudely knocked down. My blood stains the bark as I climb up the stairs. My green eyes must deceive me as I stare at this girl with curly brown hair and purple eyes. I don't know what's worse the fact that she's reading all of my journals or that I'm wearing sponge bob pajamas.
"You're a lovely writer Cayden", she says with a sweet low voice. I count my fingers just to make sure I have all 10 and this is not a dream.
"Your name is all over this place genius", as if she read my mind.
"What are you doing in here, who are you, why are yo-",  I'm cut short by her finger to my mouth.
"I'm Jace, I needed somewhere to sleep and I lost my tent in Arizona", as she tells me her life story all I hear is what the parents sound like in Charlie Brown movies.
"So are you ready?", Jace says.
"Um, yeah?", I struggle out. She goes to the door and jumps out of the tree house. I rush to the entrance and see that she is perfectly fine.
"Come on" she says. Surprisingly I close my eyes and jump out. My eyes widen completely forgetting my the blood on my leg and before I can shout a soft mouth covers my hand. I look up to her laughing again and follow her as she somehow has my mothers car keys. How many times has she been to this house? I think.
“My mom doesn’t even let me drive her car”, I say.
“”Well I never asked her if I could drive so technically she didn’t say no”, just like that she slides into the car and turns the keys. There’s another internal struggle starting up again, do I follow this random girl or go back to sleep? I lean against the old bark holding up my tree and I hold my head.
This entire year I’ve just stopped leaving the house, sleep has been the center of my life and for once I just don’t want to feel like a zombie but if I return home with a destroyed car I will be fully dead. The exhale I made was louder than expected since when I looked up her eyebrow was raised from its normal position; asking me if I was leaving without her words. I limped back inside and took a deep breath. I quickly wrapped my foot, cleaned it, put my hair in a bun, put on my adidas and made a tip toed dash for the car.
The whole car ride I couldn’t stop looking at her. There's snow on the ground but somehow something about her that's so warm. We stop at the beach. She sits by the water and I sit right by her as the freezing water brushes our feet.  I use my peripheral vision and steal a gaze at her as I watch her pick the nail paint from her fingers as they trickle down beside her. The motion of the water is loud but the questions going through my head are even louder.
“Why do you do this Jace, why do you trespass other people’s homes like this? You could get arrested don’t you ever think about that”, I gently say without making any eye contact.
“Three years ago my grandma passed away. She was the only family I had left so there was no one else to go to. I was too young to be able to afford the house or any house for that matter. I’ve always heard my grandma talk about being in foster care and it doesn’t sound like a pleasant way of life. So I packed all that I would need and left.”
I don’t think she realized the tears falling down her cheeks and I didn’t realize what my hand was doing as I wiped them away.
“How many times have you been to my house?”
“This is my 10th night here, I leave before your mom wakes up to go to work and come back after your father comes back from the gym. I saw your journals and I couldn’t stop reading them I’m sorry.”, she sniffles. “I haven’t had many conversations with people in a while and this was the first time I felt close to someone. I’m sorry about your sister, it is not your fault what happened to her”, she says in a low tone.
This time it is me who has tears falling down their face. One night my sister woke up in the middle of the night screaming at 3:52 am. I decided that I should go back to sleep because maybe it was just a bad dream. I was woken up twenty minutes later to the sound of an ambulance. My sister’s heart began to slow down and four hours later she was gone.
“Listen Cayden, maybe we could help each other out, I will spend these nights with you and you can just talk to me as a friend.” Without hesitation I agree.

We talk that entire night and I can actually feel myself get tired. We drive back to my house as the sun starts to peek its way into the sky. I crawl into bed with ease and escape into slumber to only dream about Jace. This went on every night for a month and we would continue to this place and just talk. She loves being outside and forcing me to follow her along for the ride. Secretly I just love watching her. I really believe that maybe this is it for her and somehow this is the place she belongs; here with me.
One night I woke up at 3:52 AM once again, not from insomnia but by choice. Instead of seeing Jace I see a letter on the edge of my bed. She lied to me, she’s taken money from my drawer and fled. I can’t believe I ever let someone who is such a stranger so close to me and my personal things. This has been a sick game that I never asked to be apart of and the feeling makes my blood boil. Grabbing my hair in frustration; I pace my room. Locking the door I turn on my stereo and collapse onto my bed. My stomach feels hot not with not with butterflies but with rage. I jump up out of my bed and run to the tree house to see one of my journals missing. Now at nights I make it through the night but they are all dreams of her. I would much rather have incomplete sleep then to be well rested and alone.