He was born into blackness. This blackness was something he couldn’t escape. He prayed to fix his circumstances and to be part of the world. Julian was a 14 year old mulatto boy living in Conroe, Texas.
During the 1960’s color people and white people were still frowned upon if they had any type of relationship between one another. Julian’s mother was a white woman who belonged to a very wealthy family named the Bounds. One night she was fighting with her fiance.
“Don’t leave,” she screamed as she tugged at hs shirt. With one of his heavy hands he struck her across her face. She tumbled to the ground and he walked away, leaving her in the night. She just laid there. A black man who was working outside heard her cries. He picked her up and carried her to her porch, where her and her fiance lived. She wiped her tears and stared up at this black man who was so gentle with her. She brought him inside and they spent the night together.
Arianna Bounds became pregnant. When the baby came they realized the father was a black man. Soon after the birth of Julian, his father was placed in jail for rape. Arianna tried to explain to her parents that he didn’t rape her but they didn’t listen. The Bounds wanted to protect their reputations but people began to gossip about the situation.   
“Did you hear about that Bound’s girl?”
“Yea, I did, they said that black n***** raped her,” the librarian gossiped.
“ I heard he didn’t, she let him do it to her.” said a random housewife.
She replied, “Well that's just sinful.”
“That's probably why her son has that problem.”
“God made them pay for their sins,” said the librarian.
Once the gossip started to spread rapidly, the Bounds family decided that they wanted nothing to do with Arianna and Julian. They disowned her so she left her birth city, Waco. She and Julian settled in Conroe, Texas.
Julian was a very quiet and unhappy kid, for he didn't have many friends. In fact, Julian had one friend, Laura, who was also mixed. Arianna put Julian in a white school because he looked more white than black. Julian had a hard time making friends due to his condition and because he was mixed. Both black and white kids called him names and beat him up. But Laura always had his back for she needed a friend as badly as Julian did. The girls either spit on her or played a game where they ignored her. So ultimately school was a terrible experience for Julian and Laura.
Julian walks down the hall. He hears some boy say, “Watch this.” And feels his stick gets snatched away from him.
“Give it back,” Julian yells as he spins in circles, waving his hands.
“Try to get it you blind n*****,” he says in a raspy voice which lets Julian know it was Isaac, the boy that loved to torment him. Julian walked closer to the sound while reaching for Isaac. Then the boy let out a loud ouch. After a second, Julian felt the familiar touch of Laura’s hand. She placed his walking stick in his hand and led him down the hall.
Everyday was a struggle for Julian. Some days Laura wasn't there to protect him from the bullies. Julian was walking from school one day by himself the normal way he always takes. He could hear footsteps start to follow him as he passed the field. It seemed the faster he walked, the feet behind him sped up ,too. He turned the corner into the alley. Then he felt something hard hit him in the back of the head. He trickled to the ground and felt more hard things connect with his body. Julian didn’t fight back or even scream out for help for he went numb after the first few blows. Julian tried to reach his feet but kept getting shoved back down on to the cold concrete. His attackers laughed but suddenly they ran away , leaving Julian in the alley alone.
After he regained his composure he picked himself and walked home. He couldn't understand why his attackers ran away so suddenly, but whatever made them flee, he was glad it did. He felt so much pain all over not just the outside, but also the inside. He felt if he could see he could of defended himself. His anger started to overwhelm him and even though he only saw blackness, he saw red. But he was mostly mad at himself. As he reached his house he heard the normal sounds. He heard the broken gate slam 2 times before silencing. His ears picked up on the sound of the porch swing creaking just a little because the wood was old. He kept his fists balled up as he entered.
“Hi, Julian, “ his mother called while slamming a kitchen door.
“How was school?” Her voice was now in the same room as him.
“What happened to you,” she sounded panicked. Arianna grabbed him and dragged him to the bathroom.
“There is blood everywhere Julian!”
Julian didn't know this whole time that he was bleeding, but now he knew what made his attackers run. His mother rubbed his head, cooing at him, and putting bandages on his scars. When he was all fixed up, she led him to the dinner table. They ate quietly, Julian actually hadn't said a word since he got home. But he could feel his his mom’s glare seeping through his skin. She was crying for he could hear drips of liquid smack the table every time she sighed. But she never uttered a peep until he finished his food.
“What happened, who did this to you?” she pressed him with questions. But he wouldn't answer her. When he grew exhausted of her badgering him, he got up, walked down the hall and closed his bedroom door behind him. He could hear the sounds of his mom's hushed sobs.
Julian didn't mean to be rude or disrespectful to his mom, but he just didn't know how to explain. He didn't know who did it, why they did it, or even what they did it with exactly. He replayed what he did know in his mind but it started to become a blur fading into the darknesses.
All he knew for sure that whatever occurred he deserved it. He felt it was God’s punishment for ruining his moms and dads lives. Not to mention for being black and blind which were punishments for him he thought. Julian thought over his life. His home life always felt incomplete. When Julian was at home he felt safe but he longed for his dad in life and wished to meet him. His mother cared for him the best she could especially with him being blind, but Julian knew his mom was depressed. Arianna tried to hide her feelings from Julian , but he would always hear her crying.Julian thought that his mom would have a better life without him. Why did he have to be blind? Why did he have to be mixed? Why did he have to even be born?
He wished to see the world he lived in. he wished to not be clothed in blackness. So that night, he took a scarf and tied it to the ceiling light. He took the other end and attached it to his neck.  He stood on the stool for awhile thinking everything over. He moved the stool and started to dangle there for moments. All he could think was that he wanted to disappear and eventually he did. He would be forever trapped in Blackness.