Knocking on the heavy blue door, she called out “hey, it’s me!” As she stood waiting for it to open, she fidgeted mindlessly while her eyes meandered down the street. The rain drizzled down around her, and only the small awning over the porch kept her dry. She bounced on her heels, anticipating the conversation that was about to come.

“It’s about time you got here, Alice.” Doug grinned down at her and stepped aside, welcoming her into the small house.

“All the rain from the storm these past few days means there's going to be tons of fresh powder up there.”
“I know. Well, we know. Everyone else is already here prepping.”

“Seriously? I got up and drove straight here thinking I would check in with you, and then we would call everyone over to plan.” They had moved down the hall and into the living room now.

“You know, Alice, just because you usually organize us doesn’t mean we all can’t recognize great days for going up to the mountains.” It was Sam who had spoken. He was always the sarcastic one. Sam had been the same way ever since he and Alice met back in high school. He was the joking one that made the whole group feel at ease, even in potentially awkward situations.

“So what are we thinking for tomorrow?” The question energized the room as people began buzzing with suggestions for which mountain would be conquered the following day. “What about the Northside?” The buzzing stopped.

“Alice, you know there’s a reason we’ve never even tried it.” Tom sounded concerned as he glanced around the living room. Alice looked at the faces of her most trusted friends. They were her partners in adventure, the people she shared a deep connection with and regularly trusted her life with. There were five others in the room; Doug, Sarah, Tom, Daisy, and Sam. They were all quiet for a moment, each internally evaluating the risks and rewards that would come from attempting to tackle such a dangerous slope.

“I know it’s risky, but isn’t that kinda why we do this? Plus, we’ve already done just about all the mountains in the area anyway.” Alice had been thinking about it the past few days, having been holed up in the library studying and watching the rain. It was normal to wake early enough for them to make it up and back down before they were in danger of bad weather. “We have the skill and practice, the only thing that’s stopping us is the fear of what might happen.” Alice stressed the word might, trying to subtly remind her friends that they were never the type to be held back by fear.

Alice looked over at Sam, expecting to know exactly what he was thinking. The pair was closer than the rest of the crew; they had known each other the longest, and could almost always finish each other’s sentences. She was surprised by the face that met her: he was pensive, eyebrows furrowed and clearly deep in thought. He was resting his strong arms on his knees and his chin on his fists. Then, suddenly, he turned and locked eyes with her. His warm, brown eyes carried strong resolve, and familiar twinkle of mischief. Alice grinned at him, and was met with his signature smirk.

“Let's do it.” Sam’s voice was calm and steady. “Why the hell not?”

She climbed out of the van, the wind whistling in Alice’s ears and shaking snow off of the trees. The brief moment of calm was broken by Sam’s exasperated groan.

“Why does that car ride feel longer every time?” he whined.

“Because you feel the need to talk more with every ride, tiring yourself out before we even get going,” Doug replied.

“Lets just get ready and head out,” Sarah said while moving to open the trunk. They all began pulling out their belongings, undoing the work they had done back at Doug’s house. Backpacks, skis, climbing gear, and various winter layers were handed out to their rightful owners. Once everyone was squared away, the group made their way into the snow-covered woods. “Hey, Doug, you told your mom and packed the transceiver, right?”

“Of course, why do you think my pack is always heavier than yours?” Doug was responsible for informing his mother of the group’s plans whenever they decided to go up into the mountains, just in case anything went wrong. It never did, so he was tired of the questions.

“I always thought it was because you have to haul an extra brain since the one you have doesn’t always work.” Sam quipped, turning to give Tom a high five. The conversation amongst the group flowed easily during the trek up the mountain. Over the past several years, the small pack of friends had been brought closer and closer together by countless snow-filled shenanigans. They carried each other through the hard times, both while peaking and in their daily lives. It was something Alice cherished.

The view at the top was awe-inspiring, the whole world seemingly spread out before them. The mountains were standing tall and proud, spreading out across the horizon as if they knew they were the great dividers of the land. The air fresh and cold, the small band of companions surrounded in a serene silence. Alice knew in that moment that choosing to summit the Northside had been well worth it. While they were colder than cold, the freedom they was worth waking up before the sun every weekend to risk injury or maybe even their lives finding their own path up and down mountains.

After enjoying yet another triumphant climb, they start back down the mountain.  They brought skis for below the rock and ice field at the very peak, but until then it was once more hiking through snow. Sarah and Doug were at the front of their rope team, then Alice, Sam, Tom, and finally Daisy. Alice was commenting to the group in a sing-songy voice how yesterday they had all been worried about attempting this climb when they heard a loud crack ring out like a gunshot. All of a sudden a huge chunk of ice and rock fell between Daisy and Tom.

The ground beneath Daisy immediately gave out and her head smacked against stone as she slid down over the cliff. Tom’s legs were yanked out from under him from the force of Daisy’s falling weight pulled him down. Before anyone could react he too was almost over the edge. Another loud crack of the ground under Sam and Alice caused them to snap their eyes toward each other. Fear greeted Alice, but he quickly hid it and turned to work on pulling their fallen compatriots back up. When Sam moved to grab hold of Tom, his shifting weight caused a second collapse. Alice screamed. She, like Tom, was swept off her feet, as she was being pulled toward the cliff she got tangled while trying to stop, when Doug finally grabbed her rope preventing her from moving any further, it cinched around her. She looked down at Sam who was staring back at her in terror. She couldn't breathe. If Doug and Sarah let go to help untangle she would pull them all off the mountain, but Sam, Tom and Daisy's weight was strangling her.

"Alice! Alice, can you hear me!" Sam's cry reached her ears, the seconds had turned to minutes, time stopped. "Alice, help us!" She couldn't. She looked into those perfect brown eyes. her one free arm flailing around her body trying to find her emergency knife.

"I'm sorry" she gasped out.

"Alice!" She reached around and cut the rope just as her lungs gave up their last vestige of air and she blacked out.

She felt before she saw, every part of her body was aching. It seemed as if she had the full force of a 9.0 earthquake shattering her skull. Next was the smell, chemicals and over-sterilized air invaded her senses, caused her to feel nauseous. Finally, her eyes cracked open, the simple task requiring far more effort than it should have. Once open, Alice immediately regretted it; the fluorescent lighting was not doing her splitting headache any favors.

“Hey, she's up, she’s up! Go get the doctor.” The tired voice belonged to Sarah. As Alice blinked her eyes into focus she noticed her dear friend shaking Doug. When he jolted awake and dashed out of the room, they were the only two left. Then it hit her: their fall, Daisy and Tom, losing sight of Sam. It was all her fault. After all, she had made them go, and she made the choice to leave the others behind.

“Hey there Alice, how are you feeling?” Sarah’s voice was slow and cautious, as if she were afraid of what she knew the response would be. Alice choked out a groan. “It’s okay the doctor will be here soon.”

Sarah began to explain what happened after she blacked out, but Alice was barely listening. She didn’t care that after she blacked out another ice and rock chunk fell hitting her on the head. And that Doug and Sarah called search and rescue with the transceiver after they pulled her out. All she heard was that search and rescue recovered the bodies of Daisy and Sam, and Tom was in the ICU with a medically induced coma after the cold and blunt force trauma. When she heard that part Alice began sobbing. Her body racked with tears, she lost not only two friends, but one of them was the love of her life. How could she have cut that rope? She was evidently not brave enough to risk her life for her friends’ lives.

“Look, Alice, we are really sorry. It’s not your fault.”  Sarah looked lost and unsure when Doug reentered the room.

“Hey, the doctor will be here in a few minutes, so we need to leave. Next time we come see you you’ll feel better. It will all be okay, you’ll see.” Doug too was at a loss for what to say.

She looked over in sadness at the overly exuberant flowers Doug and Sarah had brought by. Next time, her friends had said, but she didn’t think there would be a next time. Not for her, anyways, and certainly not for Sam and Daisy. Why did she deserve any different from them?