In my head I like to narrate my life as if I was a main character in a book. Although I can read my mind as a book, I could never tell when the real story would occur. I guess this was where it started, I just didn’t know.
When I was six my parents died in a fire leaving me and my sister, Emiko, all alone. We were put into a foster home. The kids never treated us right so my sister forced me to run away with her.
After we ran away my sister turned 18 and got involved into prostitution. I’ve once asked her, “Why do you do it?”
“If I didn’t do it, we’d have not a roof under our heads but a bridge in the streets.” She replied as she sat on the floor checking her nails.
On my eighteenth birthday she put me in bed and kissed me, not goodnight, but goodbye.
“I put two pieces of bread and a piece of cheese in the kitchen. Happy Birthday, Asako...” She kissed me goodnight, and said goodbye for the night, but I never saw her again.

Weeks had past and anger and sorrow rushed over me after I realized what Emiko had done. I was unemployed I needed money so I began to kill, for money. Without Emiko here I had to find a new way to provide for myself and keep the roof over my head. I couldn’t get a job because I didn’t have an education, I only went to school from kindergarten to fifth grade, after my parents died I stopped attending school. Soon I moved out of the small apartment that Emiko paid for. I could afford for a house now, I didn’t need her and her house anymore. When I moved I left all of Emiko’s belongings. I only took mine and the furniture. Whatever was Emiko’s I burned it. She had left me all alone and with nothing but bread and a piece of cheese. I swore if I ever saw her again I would tear her to shreds just like I did to one of my victims.

“Get the job done tonight! I want that jerk dead! If you get it done by tonight I’ll pay you 300000 yen in cash.” the man in the phone says. He’s not my boss, I don’t have a boss, I just work for people that are in the black market or sometimes, for gangs. I don’t join the gangs I just work for the money.
“Yes, I understand.” I say then hang up the phone.
Of course, my job is not something I enjoy doing or seeing but once again, I need the money. After Emiko left I knew I had to survive, this is the only way of surviving and to not live in the streets. The people I end are not up to me. When the job is done I go and get the money of course. I get paid a fortune, that’s what makes it all worth it.

“Where’s the money? I’ve done my part.” I say standing outside the door of my “client”.
“Tomorrow, I’ll get it to you.” he says. Anger rushed over me.
“I want it by midnight! You understand! If you’re late, I’ll come for you. Don’t try to run I’ll find you.” I say in a threatening tone then walk away from his front porch. 
Usually I only end one person each night, but today I had to end two, I never got the money but he’s got what he deserves...
The next morning I woke up and made some coffee as if last night never happened, this is the way it’s always been for more than two years now. At first it was hard to bare but I got over it. I turn on the news to see what’s new.
“Breaking News! Two dead bodies found this morning.” They found the bodies? How? I had to get out of here. I packed all my belongings and looked for the nearest ship to the United States. After looking for hours I finally found a boat that would be leaving at ten pm.
When the time came I kissed my present goodbye, it would now be my past. I will no longer be Asako Watanabe, I will now be Hana Yamamoto. I had everything planned out when I get to the U.S. more like, I was on the run.

When I boarded my ship I was told to be seated next to a women, she looked like she was in her early adulthood. She was holding a child that looked like she was about nine years old. I examined the both of them. A feeling of home rushed over me, it reminded me of, Emiko and I, when life wasn’t as bad. I started to reflect of when I was a child, with parents, a family and a place to actually call, home. That’s in the past, where I no longer belong in. I sat on the cold wood as I wait for the ship to board.
I sat there for about thirty minutes after realizing my head was tilting side by side, I was half asleep, tired. I tried to find a comfortable position to so I could sleep. I heard giggling to my right. It was the little girl, the one that reminded me of myself. I wanted to say something but I was reminded of myself, a killer headed to the U.S.
“Ob?san(old women), your head is tilting.” The little girl says along with a giggle. I look at her with a glare to scare her away. She returns my glare with a smile, such a sweet little girl. She seemed happy, it was probably her sister that caused trouble, that’s why they’re on the run.
“Tsugi, Stop talking to strangers!” Her sister exclaim. I scoot away and continue to find a comfortable spot so I can sleep.

“N?, b?to no minasan!(Hey, everyone get off the boat!)” I hear half awaken. “Okiru! Geisha suru jikan!(Get up! Time to get off!)” I open my eyes to see a man wearing a dirty shirt with a smoke pipe tugging on me. I stand up and grab my belongings. When I’m off the ship I look at the sky and it’s already early morning. I’m on my own from this point on. First thing I would do was find a hotel to stay in for a while. I wasn’t sure what city I was in but I didn’t really care. I didn’t use my phone to search for places because that was an easy way to track me down. As I’m walking I see a man that looks Japanese too so I ask. “Sumimasen, ichiban chikai hoteru wa doko ni aru no?(Excuse me, do you know where the nearest hotel is?)”
“I’m sorry?” The man says and gives me a weird look. He wasn’t Japanese, I began to walk away.
“Excuse me ma’am! I can help you!” He shouts at me. I turn around to look at him, then I look at the ground, when I look up, I realize he’s rushing over to me.
“Ma’am!”-I fall into the arms of a stranger. Then, darkness…

“Keng! Why did you bring her in!? You could’ve just brought her to a hospital.” A women says then sighs in frustration. When my eyes fully open I realize this wasn’t the room I usually woke up in, my room. Then I realized I was in the U.S. I try to sit up but I feel a hard pounding on the inside of my head. When I finally have enough strength, I sit up looking at the man from before, we make eye contact then he looks back at the women.
“Kao! Stop speaking so loud.” the man says slightly raising his voice to the women, Kao? I’m assuming. I look at the man and Kao. Kao has her hands crossed and is well dressed. The man has dark brown hair and has a look of concern. He asks me something, “You’ve woken up. H-how are you feeling?” I look at him, puzzled.
“Kare wa anata no kimochi o tazunete iru.(he’s asking you how you’re feeling.)” Kao says with a calm but slight annoyed voice, her hands stayed cross.
“Kao, ask her where she’s from.” the man says
“Shusshin wa dochira desu ka?(where are you from?)” She says with a voice a little more eased out now but, her arms still crossed. A moment of silence passes by.
“Kiite, watashi wa Beikoku ni konakatta. Tomodachi o tsukuru tame ni. Ichiban chikai hoteru wa dokodesu ka?(Listen, I didn't come to the U.S. to make friends. Where's the nearest hotel?)” I really wasn’t in the mood to get close to anyone, it’ll do me no good. Kao gives me an annoyed look that says “I can’t believe this nonsense” then walks away. The man walks over to me then meets my eye. I give him a confused look of “can I help you”. He gives me hand signals of, where are you from? He then pulls out a map from his pocket, he then exaggerates how he wants me to show him where I come from. I bring my finger to point at the small Island that says, Japan. He nods his head then says, “Ahh,” as in I see. He then gestures his hand to a “do you want to eat?” hand signal. I look away then start to walk around ignoring his question. I start to wander around the room looking for my belongings.
“Watashi no mono wa doko ni arimasu ka?(Where are my stuff?)” I say with a tone of frustration while digging around his stuff.
“Listen! I didn’t mean to make you upset.” He exclaims then tries to stop me without touching me. I ignore whatever he was saying and continue to dig around his stuff to find my stuff so I could leave this place.
“What the hell’s going on?” Kao shouts stepping in from the other room.
“I don’t know! I was just asking her a couple questions!”
“Nanishiteruno!(What are you doing! You’re turning this place into a mess!”)” Kao shouts then tackles me.

“She should eat…” The man says. The women looks at me with frustration then sighs.
“Monogoto ga saiaku ni naru mae ni, jibun jishin o sh?kai suru koto ga dekimasu. K?ru?
(Before things get worse let’s introduce ourselves. Cool?)” Kao says in a calmer tone then reaches her hand out. I stare at her hand then look up at her and the man. This isn’t my hometown and I’ve never been around here so I guess it would be good to have two minions to help me around. I nod my head in agreement.
“I’m Hana Yamamoto, I’m visiting my family in the U.S. I don’t know where they so I have to stay in a hotel for the time being until I find them.(Asako, now Hana, says in Japanese)”
“What’d she say?” The man asks. Kao looks at him with a look that says “stay out of it”.
“I’m Kao Moua, and this is my step brother Keng Moua, He’s currently living with me so I have to take care of him.” Kao states in Japanese.
“If you guys are siblings, why doesn’t he speak Japanese? And what’s your ethnicity?” I ask, still uninterested to make friends.
“I’m in college, I want to travel the world so I started learning different languages at a young age, luckily for you, Japanese is my specialty. Also, to answer your question of our ethnicity, we are Hmong.” I nod my head to Kao’s answer. “It’s pretty late so I think you should just stay here for night. We’ll find a hotel for you tomorrow.” I nod once again to show agreement.
As I lay there I think of how I can get out of this house and how to move on. Will I be able to hide from the police here? I look up at the ceiling fan and think of my leave to these two siblings. I didn’t plan on hurting them since they have nothing to do with my job.
The next day I was awoken by the morning sun and Keng tugging at me to wake me up. Is he kidding me? This kid is like 20 and acts like he is six. Out of respect I wake up. Keng signals hands to me asking if I’m … Hungry? I shake my head but that was a lie, I probably haven’t eaten in like two days. Keng probably saw the lies in my eyes so he took me out to eat anyways. We didn’t really talk, well, I didn’t really talk. Keng had a lot to say even though he knew I didn’t understand him. Even though we didn’t have great communication skills I felt more close to him. It probably wasn’t right because I had no intentions of staying with him and his sister for too long.
Later that day we returned back to his house and his Kao was on the sofa watching television. Keng went to her and asked a couple of questions, they kept on returning conversations then finally Kao came up to me and said, “Keng wants you hear another day.” I was surprised because I intended to leave. “I can’t I must leave.” I replied.
“You’re welcome to stay if you want.” Kao says then looks at Keng. I also look at Keng, although he was a full grown man I saw him kind of as the younger brother I never had.
I ended up staying with them for more than I expected.

Two months had passed and I was surprised the police hasn’t came knocking at the doors yet. I guess today was the day.
Over the time period I have spent with Keng and Kao we’ve become really close. I even learned some English. Although, my pass was horrible these two human beings have put some humanity into me.
For brunch Keng intended that we head out. We went to go get some sandwiches from Starbucks. Suddenly we were approached by two police men. I lowered my head and could see Keng looking at me with a confused look.
“You look very familiar.” one of the policemen say.
“Excuse me, officer, how may I help you?” Keng says looking at the officer.
“Could we see the lady for a bit?” The other officer says then pulls me away from Keng, the other officer stays with Keng to accompany him. I look at Keng with sorrow. “I’m sorry Keng, Kao. If this is the moment I’m caught then I’m sorry I ever became close to you guys.” I think to myself, my eyes began to tear up. Although I may have seen like a strong person, I’ve lost all of that in my time with Keng and Kao. Thank you guys, so much. This was the moment. I was caught and sent back into Japan.

“Please let me have a word with the boy and the girl!” I scream at the officer. I look at Keng and Kao. They look at me in confusion behind the bars, I hope they never find out what I did, just see me as a person that did something bad, not killing. The officers holding both of my arms have a grip on my arm then I break lose and run to Keng and Kao. Even though I couldn’t be there with them fully this was enough and I just had a couple words to say.
“Seeing me like this will hurt! But when you find out who I am don’t forgive me.” Those were the last things I ever said to them.