CHAPTER 1: FIERY WATER
She takes sips of the fiery water and it hits my unevolved body in her womb. It weakens me sip by sip, day by day, for nine months. She was addicted, she couldn’t stop, as soon as her pay check came she spent it. I came as a disappointment to my mom she didn’t want me, I am a burden to her. My moms dream was never me, it was a small apartment in a big city, working for some place important, but her dream was shattered by me.
My name’s Angel and I have fetal alcohol syndrome or FAS. My mom says my names Angel because I was born in such a critical condition that I should have gone to heaven but the angels saved me. I don’t understand why my mom thought that the angels saving me was a blessing, it seems like she wants me in a grave. I’m 13 years old now, I’ve been homeschooled almost my whole life, restricting my mom from pursuing her dreams. My dad is a banker and provides for my mom and I. My mom and dad have never really had the best relationship, I guess you can tell why. He comes home everyday after a long day to find mom drunk and new liquor bottles in the cabinet from his last paycheck. We live in a small apartment complex in Denver, Colorado and today is the first day I go to Tuffman Middle School. I’ve haven’t been in a classroom in years, I went to a small preschool and couldn’t function. I  fell behind immediately, I couldn’t even tell colors apart. Fetal alcohol syndrome makes me have bad memory, uncoordinated, socially unacceptable and have slower learning curves than my classmates. It brings a burden to everything I do I’m never good
enough, I’m always behind. I feel like I'm chasing nothing, I feel like a hamster on a wheel running in circles forever.
I can’t go to school, I look different and I’m not as smart as everyone else. I am very small for my grade, including a small upper lip and small eyes. I just want to be the normal kid I could’ve been but my mom robbed me of that. I guess I can’t blame my mom, she was in a bad time in her life and her only resort was drinking. The bad time in her life never ended, she drinks every night still. Seeing her take sips of the large handle makes my whole body cringe. In my eyes she holds the devil in her hands but in hers it’s my dad’s paycheck, her life.
CHAPTER 2: OBSCURE FIRST DAY
The once again painful night ends and it’s 6:30  A.M. and I'm on my way to the first day of school. I shiver as a walk along the gray cement and as I see kids in the courtyard my insecurities resurface. I start to shake and it feels as if I’m in the hospital, my imperfect infant body, seizing.
“Be good, be the Angel like I’ve always taught you to be” My mother said.
“I will, I promise” I reply softly.
I paced to the front door of the school and make sure to not look at anyone around me. My first walk on Tuffman Middle School campus is a blur. I swing open the door and it feel like everyone's eyes are pirecing at me like daggers. The stares plunge into my heart and leave scars I’ll never forget. I bolt to my homeroom class, my face is flustered, I already hate it here.
“ Hey, Are you ok?” my homeroom teacher asks concerned as he inspects my face.
“Um, Uh, yea I guess” I say caught off guard. I forget how to talk, I am always only around my mom and dad. This school years going to be rough.
I take a seat in the back of class as kids flood in to the class. Everyone gives me a look of disapproval. I sink back in my seat and the emotions start to flood to my eyes. But I hold it back and swallow it down my throat. Everyone talks in groups around me and I was told everyone’s starting “a new, fresh start” in middle school. One girl walks up to me and introduces herself.
“Hi, I’m Ashley” She exclaims.
“Um, Hi i’m Angel” I say softly, I hate talking.
“Not to be rude but what happened to your face” She says regretfully.
I frown and say “You don’t know me that well” I snapped.
Ashley quickly turns around and sits down, her face turns as red as a tomato. I think about her thick blonde hair and dark blue eyes, as deep as the ocean. I get butterflies in my stomach and instantly regret the remark I made at her. I don’t know what I was feeling, is it love?
The first day of school flew past my mind and the only thing that stayed constant in my mind was Ashley’s face. I observed her so closely, she was all my thoughts could focus on. I came home to my mom sipping the same handle that will probably last a couple more days. She waves at me as I enter the door.
“Hey, how was school?” She said plainly
“Uh, it was fine, I guess”
“Give me a break Angel, I know it was terrible” She rolled her eyes and took a sip of  that devilish water.
I look down at my feet as tears roll down my cheeks. I run to my room and throw my backpack on the ground. I can’t get the vision of my mom drinking constantly out of my mind. It always stays fresh in my mind.
CHAPTER 3: STINGING NIGHT
I sat on my bed in my room and thought of how much school was left, months and months where ahead of me. I was lost in my train of thought as glass slammed against the door and my ears rung as the glass hit the cold tile floor. I plug my ears and try to ignore what is about to unfold through the thin walls in my bedroom. This was a routine that happened almost every week between my drunk mom and dad.
“What do you want?” My mom screamed from the living room.
I heard another slam against the wall and glass break as my dad screamed back “Stop using my money for your addiction.”
“It’s not my fault, it’s Angel’s fault. I can’t get a job because of him” She said angrily as the words slurred off of her tongue.
“No it’s yours, you're the one who drank and drank, night and day when he was in your womb” He said.
“I wanted him gone Richard you know this” She said.
I bolted out of my room into the hallway as tears gushed down my face. I walk into the living room to find glass shards scattered across the tile floor and blood gushing down my mom’s arm. My dad took his arm and pushed me back into my room as I tried to charge through his strong arms.
He said “Angel, go back to your room, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
He finally corned me into my room and slammed the door close on me. I hear a loud clash and a shriek cried from my mom. It had never been this bad to the point where things are breaking, glass bottles and my family. My mom rushes to my room with a bruised eye and the cold blood still rushing down her arm and says
“We have to go Angel, pack your bags”
CHAPTER 4: NO MONEY, NO FOOD, MORE LIQUOR
The tears started to roll even faster as I grabbed my red bag and filled it with all my mementos and clothes from my room. I picked up my bookbag and the red bag and rushed through the living room. My mom picks up the emergency money we have sitting on the table and we sneak out through the back door. What were we going to do? All my had was about $100 cash and our small amount of stuff we brought with us. My mom took my hand and pulled me through the apartment complex parking lot. My mom stumbled as she led me and she dragged me all the way to the ABC store. She took the wad of cash and threw it on the counter and walked back out with a case of that devilish fiery water. We slept on the side of street close to the my school and my mom took sips and sips of the alcohol. My life drastically changed in a matter of hours.
That night I dreamt of what life would be like if my mom never drank alcohol when I was in her womb. How she would be pursuing her dreams, my dad and her would still be together and I would be normal for once. I was awoken by the scream of children, I looked up to see that school was about to start and I grabbed my backpack and ran towards the school doors. I sat in my seat out of breath as I realized everyone's eyes where on me. My cheeks flustered to a bright red the color, the same flaming red  color that gushed down my moms arm last night.