There once was a farmer named Hankus Panchus, but everyone called him Hank for short. He was a skinny, tall fellow with brown hair and golden eyes. Many of the ladies swooned over the successful yet humble farmer, but none were able to catch his attention. However, one day, Hank was headed to church, minding his own business. It was a fine morning, but suddenly, out of nowhere, a red arrow sliced through the blue sky, piercing the space between Hank and a lovely maiden. The maiden stumbled, and her purse flew into Hank’s face. 

“Oh dear, I almost died,” said the lady in a gasping shock, barely acknowledging the injured Hank. 

“Ma’am, pardon me. I really don’t know where that devilish thing came from.” He handed the purse back to the blonde woman, briefly glancing at her. All of a sudden, Hank and the blonde beauty looked at each other again for what seemed like an eternity. There was a magic spark that could not be denied. 

“Well, hello there. Howdy, my fair lady. And what might your name be?” he said charmingly. The woman smiled shyly, replying, “Amelia. How ‘bout you? What do you call yourself?”

“They call me Hankus… er, I mean, Hank. Well, I’ll be. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before! I know I’d remember a fine lady like yourself.” The maiden giggled. 

“Oh, I just came to town for a visit. I live in Maple Valley, a few miles away from here.”

“Oh yes!” Hank cried. “Maple Valley, where the best butter is churned! Oh, I could go for a good buttery sausage biscuit right about now.” Hank took a breath. “Would you allow me the honor of taking you out for breakfast?”

Amelia looked puzzled. “But what about the service?” She pointed in the direction of the chapel. 

“Well, you know what, Miss Amelia? It’s not every day that I meet a maiden as precious as you. Right now, I just want to get to know you.” He gave her a toothy grin.

“You have made a point. Well, if you insist. I’ll accompany you.” 

The pair went off, cracking jokes and telling stories along the way. The breakfast was very successful, and shortly after, Hank and Amelia became one of the town’s most popular couples. They were inseparable, and would often complain if they weren’t around each other. After just a month and a half of their relationship, Hankus Panchus asked Amelia Jones her hand in marriage. The two got married at the Maple Valley Butter Churn Factory, and couldn’t wait to begin their lives together as a union under God. Unfortunately, the worst was still yet to come.

The marriage began under splendid terms, but gradually, Amelia’s attitude towards Hank began to change. She requested the unattainable from him, demanding luxurious dresses and the most expensive jewelry. Amelia seemed to be less delighted about Hank and more interested in the commodities he could provide her with. It seemed like the arrow Cupid had shot no longer served its purpose. 

The fourteenth of February arrived. Amelia was still hopeful that he would buy her the assets she desired, but Hank had reached his breaking point. When Hank returned from milking the cows, Amelia approached him. “So, my darling, what have you brought me today?”

In a rage, Hank grabbed the dining table and flung it across the room. Amelia cried, “Wait, what are you doing? Stop! That table is made of the finest oak!”

Hank cornered her. “Is that all you see me as? A money-making machine? I work so hard to provide for you! And you don’t do anything to help me out! All you do is look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t you get bored?”

Amelia glared at him. “Fine, you’re right. I mistakenly married you in pursuit of wealth. Did you truly believe that I loved you? Let me tell you, my handsome man, the only thing a woman wants is sovereignty over her husband and money. And you gave me both. You were so easy to fool.” They divorced soon after.

Hank and Amelia had been the perfect match, but Cupid’s greed and carelessness gave no guarantee of a happy marriage. Saint Valentine’s holiday had become a capitalist machine, so he lost no minute wandering all throughout. After all, Hank and Amelia had been only two of his many targets. For a few, there was no need for an arrow to fall in love. But in most instances, the obsession over money coupled with Cupid’s doings. Beware of this mischievous god, for good intentions he may not always have.