Nicholas Stamos Block 2  

Discovering Ourselves

I sat down at my desk and waited patiently for class to begin. As I opened my binder to organize my notes, I saw Brian Anderson walk in and sit down at his desk as well. There was something special about him that I’d never noticed before. I mean sure, he was good looking, but today he was just....different. Maybe it was his slicked back hair and bright blue eyes, or the freckles on his face. But I was straight, so none of that mattered. Or was I? To be honest, I wasn’t sure anymore. All through class, I kept glancing at Brian and quickly turning my head back, careful not to let my stare linger for too long. It really didn’t matter though, because I was sure that Brian was straight. I mean, he’s on the basketball team, he’s a member of the swim club, and he constantly has girls swarming after him.  There’s no way he’s gay I thought to myself. You’re just making this whole thing up. But there was still a sliver of doubt in my mind as I packed up to head to lunch. As I headed there, I noticed Brian talking to some of his friends by his locker. I had just enough time to take a quick glance inside, and I couldn’t believe what I saw. Inside, taped to the door, was a small, little rainbow colored flag. No way I thought. Brian Anderson is gay. So that meant I did have a shot, just as soon as I figured out what the heck I was. When I got to the lunchroom, I took my usual seat and sat down to eat my food. Sitting nearby, of course, was Brian and the rest of his friends. I snuck in quick little glances at Brian, careful not to stare. Lunch seemed to drag on forever, and believe me, I was relieved when it ended. My next class was English, and I was looking forward to that. Well I was until I walked into class and saw that Mrs. Haist had changed seats around and put me and Brian right next to each other. I sat down awkwardly and got my notebook out. Brian looked over at me and smiled. “Hi, I’m Brian. Guess I’m your new tablemate”.

I smiled back and said, “Hi I’m Evan, and I know you. We have World History 2 together.”   

He looked up from his freewrite and exclaimed “, Oh yeah, you sit across from me”. We talked back and forth for a few minutes until Mrs. Haist started her lesson. I was actually enjoying myself until Mrs. Haist announced we would be collaborating with our table mate for a group project. I was a nervous wreck. Oh brother I thought. Now I had to have Brian over to my house to do a project. Just us. For a solid 2-3 hours every day this week. She might as well have put on a dark cloak and screamed “Execute Order 66”, while laughing maniacally. I was doomed. Brian caught up to me in the hallway and gave me his phone number. “So I can let you know when I’m coming over”, he told me. I gave him mine and headed for the bus ramp. The entire way home I was thinking about how I was gonna not be a moron and say or do something stupid, like accidently reveal my possible feelings for him. When I got home both of my parents were still at work, so I gave them a quick call to let them know that Brian was coming over. About 15 minutes later, he showed up at my house. 

“Hey, what’s up?”, he asked. “Nothing much, want a soda?” I responded. He declined, and we went to work on our project. After a few hours, we finally finished part of the assignment, and as he was leaving, he said something that caught me off guard.

 “You know, I saw you glance at me a few times in class today”. “What”? I asked, taken back by what he’d just said. “It’s ok”, he said. “I didn’t mind”. His cheeks then turned red and he just stuttered, “Uh, I’m sorry, I’ve gotta go.” He then sped away on his bike. “Wait!”, I shouted, and ran after him. He stopped his bike and looked back at me, really confused. I caught up to him and, still out of breath, managed to spit out”, Would it be alright if I asked you out sometime?” He looked taken back, but smiled and said,”Sure, I’d love to.” He hopped off his bike and gave me a hug, then got back on his bike and rode home. I pumped my fist in the air and shouted “Yes!” as I walked home, finally sure of who I was, and glad that I was free to be who I wanted to be.