I remember a late night in december. 

I remember being with my friends singing along to 2000s throwbacks. 

I remember the loud rumble as a white R/T charger rolled up to the parking lot. 

I remember the tall boy that walked out of the car and up to his friends.

I remember him looking into my car, pointing out our similar hoodies.

I remember the smile on his face.

I remember noticing the joy that expelled from this boy’s body. 

I remember telling myself that I wanted to meet this boy. 

I remember coming back the next day only to find that he was in the same spot he was last night.

I remember my excitement and how badly I wanted to go talk to him.

I remember him telling all of us they were going to McDonalds. 

I remember telling myself, “This is my chance.” 

I remember running to the car asking if I could go. 

I remember getting in the back seat, he turned around and smiled at me. 

I remember every conversation I’ve had with this boy. 

I remember every detail about him. 

I remember his stories of high school, of summer, of how he met his friends, of his ex, of his parents, of his pets, of his sister, of his car, of his dreams. 

I remember telling myself I want this boy in my life forever. I can never lose this boy.

I remember all the times he’s made me smile and laugh.

I remember him and I pretending to fight and he would pick me up over his shoulder as if I was a 10 pound bag of ice. 

I remember every hug he’s ever given me and I remember how I never wanted them to end. 

I remember every movie we’ve watched together, every meal we’ve eaten together. 

I remember every moment from the first day I met him. 

I remember the nervous feeling I’d get in my stomach every time I’d see him. 

I remember the day he told me he wanted to see what happens in the future. 

I remember the pain from that day.

I remember telling him that everyone who says that leaves. 

I remember him telling me to let him prove me wrong. 

I remember telling myself that I had to be strong and wait, as much as it hurt to not be with him, I had to take the chance that it could happen in the future.

I remember every text from him telling me that he misses having me around. 

I remember everything after that night so clearly. It’s like it happened yesterday.

I remember every tear I cried when it got hard to stick around. 

I remember every moment between us that made it feel like the old times. 

I remember every joke, every hug, every conversation, every time we made eye contact. 

I can’t let myself forget these memories, they may be all I have left of him.