“Take a glass plate Aiden. Take it and throw it on the ground until it shatters into a million pieces. Now apologize to the plate. Does anything change?,” I whispered.

He looked at me with the worlds most commendable eyes and I could feel myself wanting to give in before I forced mine shut, and shunned away the tears. Sensing my response, he averted his gaze.

“No,” he mumbled, his voice cracking.

“Then how can you come back here with the audacity to ask for my forgiveness?”

“Julie, I’m sorry. I-“

“No, no don’t start this again. You can’t come back here and tell me you’re sorry, you’ll do better, say it won’t happen again, and make empty promises you’ll never keep. You can’t keep abusing my heart, because you know that I love you too much for my own good. Guess what? This time I’m done. I’m done listening to your stupid resolutions. I’m done allowing myself to fall for your tricks. And I’m done believing you when you say you love me too.”

“Come on Julie, you don’t mean that. I was gone for two years, I’ve learned, I’ve changed. We’ve known each other since we were three, you can’t possibly want to throw it all away.”

“Me, throw it away?,” I yelled in disbelief and frustration.

“Aiden, you did this. Our undoing is entirely your fault and you know it. Don’t you dare try and flip this on me.”

“Julie, I can’t lose you” he stumbled.

“I don’t know who I am without you. Damn, I don’t know how to live without you. All those times when I was about to give up and pull the trigger, you were what stopped me. We weren’t even together, just the thought of you was enough. I understand that I didn’t deal with my problems the right way, and the drugs really messed me up, but it was an escape. You out of all people should understand that. Don’t pretend you’re innocent, Jules. The rehab worked this time. If I lose you, I lose it all.”

I wish my heart didn’t race at hearing the words he said, I wish they didn’t fill me with delusive hope, but I couldn’t go through it again.

“You should have thought about that before you broke my heart. You should have thought about that before you lied and burnt down everything we built. I’m done,” I breathed.

I was able to hold them in while I was in front of him, but the second I turned away the tears spilled out and I hated myself for it. I leaned over the railing of the pier and looked out at the vast ocean reflecting the beautiful moonlit display. This was the place where we had our first kiss, where we’d sneak out at midnight to go for walks, and where we’d spend the long summer days down by the beach with a cone of ‘Ralph’s Icecream’ in hand. Ironic. The memories only threatened me with more tears and I knew I had to leave. I took a deep breath and turned to face him for the last time.

“Goodbye, Aiden,” I said, barely audible. As I walked away, I could feel my heart leave my chest and join the stars in the sky.