The waves were crashing in around me. The sun was hidden behind the growing black clouds. Sweat was rolling down the side of my face as I tried I tied to get my breathing back to normal. I wasn’t going to be able to avoid this forever. I picked myself up and cautiously made my way back home. The bright yellow police tape still bordered the house. Yellow. Why would they have used a color that could be so light and full of life, when clearly the scene wasn’t. That memory was still fresh in my mind. I don’t think that I would ever be able to forget.

I had been away, spent my spring break glowing in the sunlight. My older sister, who was in her mid-twenties, stayed in our small ghostly rented home alone that week. I walked up our gray wooden porch and the deep creaking noise filled the house. All of the furniture had been covered in clear plastic, as if they could cover up the actions that had taken place. I walked to the end of the hallway in a trance like state.

My room had been ransacked. Colors in every shade were scattered across my floor. The police has asked me to identify what things were missing, but they had taken her away from me. The only thing I had left. He came for me, but he took her instead.

I was getting paranoid and I knew it.





My room was small, but it suited me well. The sun shone through my window and blinded me as soon as I opened the door. That was strange, I always kept the cream colored shades pulled shut over my window. I navigated around the piles of books I had scattered across the floor and I pushed my hands out of the window ledge. Something
snagged my sleeve and I couldn’t pull it off.

My heart started to accelerate, but I told myself not to panic.

“Agggh.” I let out a small scream and hand was pulling itself through my window. I breath a sigh of relief.

“Eric!, what are you doing.” My curly haired boyfriend was attempting to climb through my window.

“Well I thought this would be more romantic, but I don’t think that it is working out so well.” I forced smile into my face to hide my worry, but I had to laugh as he swung his leg over and fell straight onto my blue rug. Eric was always so thoughtful and he had a way of always making me laugh.

“You know.” I said bending down to his level. “I do have a front door.” he wrapped his hands around my waist and his lips were pressed against mine.

“I know.” I could feel his hot breath on my skin.




“How do you feel?”

“I’m fine.” I lied. I knew that he could see right through me.

“Janie….when your mom died…” He didn’t have to say anymore. When my mom died I practically had a mental break down, that’s when I came to live with my sister Beth. Now she was gone to.

“It was him.” I said in a whisper. I watched his eyes fill with worry.

“You don’t know that.” He began to stroke my hair.

“Yes I do. Look.” I handed him a crumpled piece of a note pad that had been left on my study desk.

It was an all too familiar heart surrounded by swirling flowers. In the middle were our names.

“He would make these for me. It was James’s sort of obsession. I hadn’t brought any of these here when I moved.” We both sat in silence.

Eric knew all about James. James was my first love and I fell hard for him. The only drawback was that he was autistic, not that that is a bad thing or anything, but he would have sudden outbursts. Suddenly he became too much for me to handle, it was like he was the child and I was the mother. His parents and I agreed that separation would be good for us, but he didn’t take it well. That being an understatement, he even went as far as murdering my mom to be closer to me. That image still haunts me in my dreams. I became more of an obsession to him.

High School was over for us, my only family left was Beth. She moved away because of her job and she had agreed that I should come and stay with her. I started college in a whole new place. That summer was when I met Eric, he was a good listener, we started college together and here we are now. He even asked me to stay with him, now instead of living here. Where death had stained it’s protective walls. Funeral arrangements had to be made and relatives would be flying in to share their condolences.



His eyes were blood shot and the air smelt of death. Her dead body had left stains on my arms. I wanted her to hold on, I didn’t want her to leave me. But I could hear him rummaging through our down stairs. He was looking for me. I knew I had to leave and the only way out was the second story window. The police were on their way, but I didn’t want to leave my mom. Her eyes had gone blank, but I couldn’t leave the only family I have left. The only mother I would ever have. His heavy foot steps were echoing through the garage.

I was running now. The wind whipping the hair across my face, I could barely see where I was going. I was tripping over my own feet, but he was coming for me.

I was trapped, James was right there. He cornered me and I had no where to go. His hands were pressing me against the wall a blood stained knife in one of them. His lips were kissing my neck. I screamed.


“Aaaaaaaaaa.” I woke up drenched in sweat. I scanned my room, almost looking to see if a single thing had moved. Eric came flying through my door. From the look on my face he instantly knew that I was afraid. He crossed my room and sat next to me. I rested my head on this shoulder. I didn’t want to have to leave my home, he had insisted that he stay with me. Now I was glad that he hadn’t left.

He was the one that notified the police about James. I got to talk to his parents and they confirmed that he hadn’t come home one night, the police were still looking for him. There were extra patrol cars that were suppose to be circling my neighborhood. It was just a precaution they had said. But the danger was all too real.





Eric and I went back to our normal lives after the funeral. Or as normal as I tried to be. I even temporarily moved in with Eric. He knew that I still had to be on edge especially since James kept haunting me in my dreams.

My first class today was my introductory to writing class. Eric wasn’t taking that course and being away from him sometimes made me anxious. I glanced out of the window. I watched the occasional that passed. A truck roared by and I saw that all two familiar red SUV. James was staring at me, his cold blue eyes pierced through my skin. I turned around and tried to focus on class.

Hand in hand Eric and I left the campus. I looked out of our car, but no one was there.

Another case of paranoia I thought to myself. That night Eric wouldn’t be home, he would be meeting with his parents. Even though he insisted that I came, and I had nothing against his parents they were always really nice to me, but I felt like I had already imposed on him too much. Instead I suggested that I go home and pick up a few things and then I would drive back to his place.


Every creek, every sound sent me on edge. I don’t know why I would come here at night I thought scowling to myself. Everything always seemed creepier at night. I turned on all of the lights and the TV. After I was packed and ready I sat down and flipped through the channels. My eyelids started to feel heavy and it seemed like I hadn’t gotten a good nights sleep in a long time.


I woke up. It had grown darker and I was all alone.

“Honey, are you finally awake,” my eyes flew open, but I tried not to look up. That voice wasn’t Eric’s, it was harsher one that I could pick out a mile away.

“What…what are you doing here.”

“What do you mean Janie? I’ve always been here.” I had begun to pick myself off of the chair, but his arms held me down. A cold piece of sharp metal was pressed against my neck.

I forced myself out of his arms, wrestling for the knife. He was stronger, but I was faster. This was just like my dreams, I had no where to go. I tripped over my feet a few times, but I got into my car and drove as fast as I could. I called Eric as I drove, but there was no answer. I left a quick message and called the police. They were on their way, but I couldn’t stop not with him so close behind. It was so dark, but I didn’t want him to catch me. I could see a pair of headlight behind me. My heart was racing and I heard water swirling nearby.

I had that one moment of in sight when you realize what you’ve just done.



Beep…Beep…Beep.

“Mom.” There were bright lights and a woman was standing in front of me.

“No sweetie, you were in a terrible accident. How are you feeling?” My vision was coming back and I could see all of the tubes that I was connected too. I tried to remember what had happened. As the nurse left the room.



I was driving and I could see the rocks below. There was a splash and the car began to flood. The road had led straight off of a cliff. I tried to push the doors open but they wouldn’t budge. I saw my mom and then I woke up here.


I saw a movement out of the corner of my eyes and the beeping of the machines increased.

“Janie. Please calm down.”

“Eric, what…what…happened.”
He was there he had a knife he was going to kill me.

“It was James, he was there.” I struggled to get the words out.

“It’s okay, we know. He…he got away. But the police are still looking for him.” He looked like he was examining me. “I’m going to go get your doctor.” He finally said.

“Wait.” I said grabbing his hand. “I’m sorry.” He kissed my forehead.

“It’s not your fault. You’ve… been out of it for awhile, but the doctors said you‘ll be fine. Their was no sever damage.”


Eric left for the doctor. The beeps started to die down, I could see the trees blowing in the cool spring wind. As I stared out of the window my breath caught in my throat. The piercing pair of eyes were looking straight at me.


Across the street he stood still, his blue eyes gone dark. He smiled and waved.











I was out of the hospital in a few weeks, but there was still no news on James. His appearances in my dreams became more and more frequent. I tried to convince myself that the police had scared him away, but he was always in the back of my mind. His parents hadn’t received any word from him either and were worried that if he had an outburst he could hurt himself or someone around him. I was on my way home from my morning classes.

I was waiting at a red light, tires screeched next to me and I looked over in that direction. The guy in the adjacent car look nothing like James, but I could easily pick out the similarities. The way his hair was parted, the shape of his face and his ocean green eyes. I was staring at him for what seemed to be an eternity and was surprised when he suddenly took off. I looked up to see the light had turned green. The impatient honking made me step on the gas.

I could see Eric’s car parked along the opposite street and I could feel relief flood through me. I parked and I almost pressed the button to get buzzed in, the keys to his apartment still felt weird in my hands.

“Eric.” I called from the crowded hallway. The clutter was mostly my fault, my room seemed to be lying in the unopened boxes that lined the floor.

“In here.” I followed the sound of his voice to the bedroom. He turned around at the sound of my footsteps. I tripped over an empty box and in an effort to catch my fall we both ended up crashing onto the bed. I pulled myself closer to him and I could feel his lips on my hair. I knew I should be working on my English paper for Professor Webster, but I really didn’t feel like it.

“So.” I said pulling myself up so that I was face to face with him. “What kind of dessert should I make today.”

My mom had been a baker, we would have Saturday night baking chaos to help stock her small bakery. You could always tell when my mom had a problem. She would always be with her spatula and icing would cover about half her face. But it was nice. Sometimes when I bake I can imagine her there with me, telling me to be patient and we had to bake our cakes with love because those were the best kind.

“I think…I want to take you out tonight, somewhere special.” His eyes looked as if they held a secret. He had pulled me onto his chest and his lips found their way to mine.


Chanel was a fancy restaurant uptown and I felt a little silly getting all dressed up, the only times can remember getting this dressed up was when Eric’s parents were holding their benefit dinners, and I was sure to be out of place if I didn’t. I still had the prom dress my mom had bought for me, it was a dress I never got to wear. It was a fitted black dress with a plunging neckline with sliver beads along the edges. There were two slits off the sides of the dress, it was beautiful.

The reservation had already been made and walking in you could see the elegance like a gleaming star. We were sat right beneath a dazzling chandelier. Eric held onto my hand throughout the entire dinner. I would suddenly look up to find him gazing at me.

“Janie, there’s something I need to ask you.” He had let go of my hand and I felt a little nervous. I mean Eric knows everything there is to know about me, what would he possible need to ask me.

“Janie, I love you so much. I’ve never even felt this way about a person before. I want to be there everyday of our lives. What I’m trying to say is, Janie, will you marry me?” He had gotten down on one knee and taken one of my hands his other hand held a small open black box.

I stood there speechless. Of course I would marry him. Eric was the most wonderful person I had ever met in my whole life. He was kind, giving and most of all he loved me and I loved him. It took me a minute to figure out that tears were springing from my eyes.

“Yes.” It sounded like a squeak to me, but the light in Eric’s eyes told me that he had heard me. He slid the ring onto my left hand and wiped the tears from my face. I kissed any part of him that I could reach. I could hear the applause that had erupted from the tables around us. They were just as happy for us as I was.

We got up to leave after dessert had been brought out. All the while I couldn’t remember when I was ever this happy.

“Ready to leave Mrs. Knight.”

“We’re not married quiet yet.” I said as he slipped on my jacket for me. I turned around and kissed his lips. “But I can’t wait.” He cupped my face in his hand and I could tell he felt the same way.

“Meet you at the car I’m going to the men’s room.”

“Okay.” He kissed me again with more enthusiasm than before and we went our separate ways.

It had been hot today, but the evening brought cool wind that made me shiver. On my way there I realized I didn’t have the car keys. I could see the car from where I was. There was a stream of people leaving and entering the restaurant.

Something grabbed me and pulled me in another direction. I couldn’t even turn around to see, a black thing had been brought over my whole face. I tried to scream, but it was no use. My hands had been bound and I was being towed forward. I was pushed into the back seat of a car and my forehead was gashed open. I could taste the blood running into my mouth. I tired effortlessly to untie myself, but it was no use, the familiar smell of Versace cologne flooded through my nose. We stopped once or twice, I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. I was either falling asleep or blacking out.

When I woke, we were still moving and there still had been no sound coming from the driver. If I had to guess I would say that we had been driving for a little over a day. I could just picture Eric’s face when he got to the car and I wasn’t there. Just a few hours ago I had been so happy. That smell of Versace was still there and I had been trying to deny what was true.

“James.” I only whispered the name, but the sudden acceleration of the car told me that I had to be right. Wherever we were going it would be far away from home and from Eric.

I had lost track of time when I was pulled out of the car. I heard doors being opened and closed and then I was sat down on something soft. Their was a swift slash and I could feel the blood circulating in my hands. There was a pull toward the back of my head and I could finally see again.

This place he had brought me to use to be our hide way. James and I had built it where an old school had been knocked down. It was smaller than a shed but we would sometimes spend hours in it. I glanced around at the familiar furniture. The couch from his basement, the old book shelf we used as a table and the small storage bins in the corner. The old rotting wooden walls fit in perfectly with the empty lot I knew was outside. Their were some things that hadn’t been their before. There were pictures of us, at the mall, museum, in my mom’s bakery. That one was the hardest to look at. Tacked up all around the room. There were also like about a hundred pictures of me, but they were all taken after I left. I saw one with Beth and another with Eric, my heart froze at the thought. He had been watching me.

The heat made it feel like I was suffocating. Then there he was he sat himself down right next to me and began to play with my hair. I didn’t know what to do, I just sat very still. He picked up my left hand and began to trace his fingers over it. My heart stopped. The ring. As soon as I thought it I turned to see him staring at it.

“What is this?” He asked it like he had never seen an engagement ring before. He took it off of my finger and threw it across the room. He left suddenly and I could hear the car start up outside. I waited until I heard him pull away. The door was bolted from the outside. That door was never locked. I knew no one would hear me. we were on a deserted road. Instead I searched for my ring and slipped it into my coat pocket.

I sat with my knees to my chest and I prayed that Eric would remember this place. I had told him about it, I know I had. He had even seen some of the pictures of when we first finished this place.

I let myself remember how James and I were. He was truly my best friend, but one that was always prepared to point out my faults. I looked at a picture from the zoo and I remembered when an ostrich had tried to peck him. I had involuntarily laughed and he had gotten mad. That day I went home with a purple bruise on the left side of my face from where he struck me. I had forgiven him, though, because I knew he hadn’t done it on purpose. It was just the opposite, he had no control. The heat was making me nauseous and I felt like I was passing out.



opened my eyes with the shutting of the door. If I looked up I could see cracks of light. I tried to guess how long I had been here and I would say at least a day or two. He picked me up from the corner of the room and placed me back on the couch. He handed me a glass of water. I drained it and he handed me some more. I hadn’t noticed that when he came in he brought food and water.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I felt a sudden surge of courage. The best approach with James was to be direct and not to overreact because then he would too.

“What do you mean? We can finally be together.” He was holding my face up to his so that our eyes met. “I made you something.” It was an old ripped paper bag that had heart surrounded by swirling flowers, in the middle were our names.

“James.” I said firmly taking his face into my hands. “Why do you think I left in the first place?”

“Because your mom made you. She didn’t like me very much did she?” My mom. I could feel my jaw pop open. She wasn’t even alive when I left because he had killed her. I felt the moisture forming in my eyes and the anger forming in the pit of my stomach. I tried to compose myself before I spoke.

“No. It wasn’t my mom. James, I think you need to move on because I have.” I could see confusion on his face. “Do you know what you’re doing to me, James. Your making my life a living hell. And I want you out.” I told myself that I wasn’t going to overreact, but all those nights of crying and pain that he put me through filled my head.

“No. I love you.”

“Do you even know what love is? Your parents are worried sick. We don’t want you doing something you’ll regret.”

“Like what.” He pulled a knife from his pocket and I had to convince myself to calm down. His voice was growing darker. I pretended not to notice the difference. He was getting closer there was non existent space between us. He kissed my neck, cheek, my lips.

He pressed my body closer to his.

“Stop.” I said with as much authority as I had. “Stop it James.”

“Why?” He said looking into my eyes. His eyes were filled with range.

“Because I don’t want this. I don’t love you anymore.”

“Don’t love me?” He said it like he had never considered it before. “Is this because of what happened with your mom, she never liked me. She was keeping us a part.”

“No she wasn’t. I was.” I tried to push him off of me. I only managed to nudge him away a few inches. I heard a noise outside. It was loud and I hoped I could attract their attention before they drove off.

“NO!” He screamed. “You said you loved me.” He was holding the knife threateningly above me. This was just like the night he had found me at the house. I ran for the door. there was a movement of the knife and warm blood was running down my leg.

“Help!!” I screamed banging on the door. He picked me up and threw me aside.

“Tell me that you love me.” I kept my mouth shut. He was kneeling over me, pinning me to the ground. “Say it. He shook my shoulders fiercely.”

“I--” Someone was banging down the door.

“Police open up!” James got off of me but the pressure of his knees left me gasping for air.

“I will always love you Janie.” He was standing in the corner of the room, he held the knife in his hand. He stabbed himself, his lifeless body crumpled to the ground. There was still banging on the door but I stayed where I was.

There was a flood of people. I could hear the sirens now. But everything seemed mute to me. there was no sound. Then I heard him call my name.

He held me in his arms and I cried.

“Oh Eric. Eric I love you.”

“I love you too.” He refused to leave me, even while the paramedics checked me out. He had been worried sick. Just as I knew he would, he remembered about my hide away and had contacted the police. We were due on a plane in a few hours, we were on our way back home.




I could feel something warm in my hands, but I couldn’t bring myself to look. When I finally decided to open my eyes I could see the poles of a four poster bed the ceiling was the same color as the one is Eric’s room. I was just about to raise myself up when his face appeared before mine.

“Eric.”

“Shhhhh. You need to take it easy.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“I would say about ten hours. You’ve been through a lot today. How do you feel?” I could feel his arms hugging my waist.

“Fine I think. I just have a headache.”

I saw a flash of light and I smiled. My ring was on the bedside table.

“Well.” I said pecking him on the lips “I know one thing I have to look forward to.”

“Oh, what might that be.”

“I have a wedding to plan, someone has to have their happily ever after around here.”