As I start to awake I can smell the firewood that had been burning all night. I hear the chirps of the birds outside my window as if they are carrying on conversations with one another. As I am lying still, I think to myself, “Today is the day I marry my love.” It’s five hours before my wedding and I’m dying to see my beloved Zoey, whom I have not seen since the day before yesterday. As I get up, I hear the squealing of tires and a noise that sounds like a big roll of thunder. I wonder to myself what has happened. I bow my head and ask God to be with Zoey and me today and to let this wedding be the most unforgettable moment of our lives!
As I’m getting ready to go to the chapel, I have a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. It’s not because I’m not sure that I want to marry Zoey, but it’s because I’m so anxious and happy that this day has finally come. I’m getting the things I need for the honeymoon tomorrow and loading it up in the car. I leave to go to the chapel, and on the way there memories replay through my head like a movie playing, memories such as the day we first met. It was like we were destined to be with each other. I was at the mall hanging out with my friends shopping and messing around. We went by this clothing shop and I seen this guy harassing this cute brown haired girl. I started walking towards them and all of the sudden I seen him draw his hand back and hit her. I watched her go down and I immediately started running towards the guy. I reared my fist back and slammed it as hard as I could into the side of his face. I felt the crackle of my knuckles as they shattered on impact. The guy hit the ground and fell unconscious. I walked over to the girl and bent down next to her. I moved her hair from her face and it was like I was staring at an angel. After she awoke, she sat up on the couch I had carried her to, and was swaying slowly back and fourth. She asked for help to get up. I told her to just stay still for a bit, sitting next to her rubbing her back. The beautiful girl who I had never saw before that day looked at me and gave me a smile, which had scarce and reluctantly in it, and told me thank you. I couldn’t say anything. I just looked at her amazed and astonished by her beauty and smiled back. After that day, we talked all the time on the phone. Then after about two months we started seeing each other, I took her out to the movies, we went out to eat, and sometimes we went to the park to watch the sun set. Everything was just so perfect.
As I walk up the church stairs and enter I see many friends and family there but I have no time to chat because I have to get my tux and everything on. Five minutes before I head out to the church floor, I sit thinking of nothing but the future, of how I can’t wait to have kids and be together with Zoey forever. I think about how she will love the honeymoon I booked for us to go to the South Carolina beaches, she has always wanted to go so I got us a big suite for ten days with a balcony where you can look out and see the never ending ocean and the room has a big hot tub that we can sooth and relax in. I hear three knocks at my door, which tells me I need to go up to the alter. I leave the room and start towards the pews smiling, greeting, and thanking people for coming.
I’m standing at the alter waiting for Zoey to appear down the aisle. Waiting to see that same beautiful sweet girl I saw that day at the mall. I close my eyes and take deep breathes, ready to get this wedding on. My heart is flowing with happiness because I am finally going to marry the girl of my dreams. Nothing else is on my mind besides being with Zoey. All the sudden I hear music. I open my eyes to see the most gorgeous girl ever, staring down the aisle at me smiling with a smile so innocent and overjoyed. I literally cannot take my eyes off her, it’s like I am just frozen and everything else is still going. Seeing her in that white dress shining like a beautiful star has me to where I can’t focus. She looks so amazing. I take four steps towards her not taking my eyes off her once and walk her the rest of the way. At the alter we stand face-to-face staring in each other’s eyes. It’s like I’m falling into a spell by her beauty, I can’t think or speak, it’s like I am frozen… We say our vows to one another and give each other the rings. I’m staring in her eyes when finally the moment I have been waiting for. I hear “ you may now kiss the bride.” I lean in and close my eyes. As soon as our lips touch everything goes silent it’s like we are in our own little world and time everywhere else has stopped. The feeling of her soft lips on mine makes me feel like I’m in heaven. It’s hard but I pull away and open my eyes. The kiss was only three seconds but it felt much longer. I see her beautiful smile and I smile back. I pull her close and whisper in her ear, “ we are married!”
The reception is over and we leave to the house to get the rest of our luggage. We are holding hands the whole way and it is hard to keep my eyes off of her, she still has me stunned. We get to the house and I run to get her bags and put them in the back then I get in the car and start the drive to South Carolina. Zoey still has no clue where we are going for our honeymoon because I want it to be a surprise.
We have been driving for hours and hours I look over at Zoey and she is knocked out cold I just look at her and smile, because that’s something she can do. If she was tired enough she could sleep through a nuclear war. I hate to but I wake her up so she can see the Smoky Mountains because the sight is so beautiful. I start tickling her side to wake her up but it’s not even fazing her. I then start to say her name, “Zoey, Zoey” I start rubbing her shoulder and slightly nudging her till finally I hear a “hey” in a sweet low voice. I tell her “look outside and see the mountains they are so beautiful” she rises up rubbing her eyes and looks saying “o my gosh it’s amazing.”
Hours pass by and we are now passing through North Carolina seeing all the big skyscrapers and beautiful sceneries. I look at Zoey while at a stoplight and tell her she is so amazing and gorgeous, she looks back at me and says, “I love you sweetheart” I smile and I lean in for a quick kiss. I hear a horn from behind. I look up at the light and see that it is green, so I start to go…

Everything is all fuzzy, I don’t know where I am, and I hear the sounds of sirens and people yelling. I see a bright light, which looks like big flames of fire. I am trying to figure out what has happened but I can’t remember. I yell out for Zoey over and over never getting an answer. I start to see pure white and then black. I hear no sound and see no images.

I hear a door shut and hear a woman’s voice. I am trying to make out what she is saying but I can’t. Then, it starts getting clearer I hear my name being called and in the background there’s a series of annoying beeps that will not stop. It is about to drive me insane! My vision is coming to me and I see a girl looking down at me. My first hope is that it is Zoey but it isn’t. It’s a nurse. I’m thinking to myself, “Why in the world am I in a hospital.” I lay still with a million thoughts rushing through my head, “Why am I here? Where’s Zoey? Is she ok? Have I done something wrong?” I try hard to recall what happened. I try to remember as far back as I can. I remember getting married, going to the house, and driving…
I all the sudden remember. Everything just comes back to me. I remember it like it’s happening all over again. I remember looking over and seeing the red truck slamming right into us making the whole car roll until we are upside down. Then I remember seeing two more cars coming straight to us. Then, nothing. I begin to start frantically screaming for Zoey and I try to get up. I almost fall down because I’m so dizzy. I pull out my IV and start towards the door but I am too weak and I fall to the ground grasping for air. A nurse comes in and helps me get back on the bed. I ask her what has happened and where my wife is. She hooks me back up to my IV and tells me, “Honey, you have been in a wreck and we haven’t heard anything about Zoey but if we do we will tell you.” I begin to cry. I’ve never felt so confused and alone. I really miss Zoey.

It’s been four days since the wreck. I am going home from the funeral feeling confused and dead inside… I feel like I’ve lost my heart. It just doesn’t seem right. It’s so hard to think about her. I feel guilt, sadness and much anger. I yell out to the top of my lungs, “Why? Why? It’s not fair! It’s not fair!” I look up to God and scream, “Why did you take her from me”, “why”? I get home and go to the bedroom and lay down on the bed. I get one of her shirts and snug it tightly. I can smell her sweet perfume. It feels like she is here with me. I catch myself a few times feeling around on the bed looking for her but she’s nowhere to be found. So I cry and cry, until I finally drift off to sleep.
I can smell the firewood that has been burning all night. I hear birds chirping. Something feels odd, almost as if I am having déjà vu. I am lying down so confused when all the sudden I hear the squealing tires and the big sound of thunder. I rise out of bed and run to the bathroom. I see my tuxedo hanging on the door. I think to my self, “Is this a dream or was what happened a dream?” I run to my dresser and get my cell phone. I call Zoey. She answers. When I hear her sweet voice I don’t know what to say. I burst into tears. I hear her saying, “hello? Hello? Babe is that you? Hello?” I finally say, “Hey” trying not to let her know I am crying. I tell her, “I’m calling to just say I love you and that I can’t wait to marry you.” She lets out a giggle and says that she loves me and that she can’t wait either. We talk a few more minutes then I end the call with “I love you!” I sit the phone back on the dresser and fall on the bed so relieved. Then, I get up to get ready to marry my love of my life. Everything is playing out the same as what I dreamed or what I believe was a dream. I’m trying not to think about it so I can go through the wedding not worrying. Seeing her in that white dress, sparkling when the light hits it makes me forget about what I dreamed and I go through the wedding just fine.
We are driving past the Smoky Mountains. I look over at Zoey and she is sound asleep. I don’t wake her, so I just let her sleep because I don’t want to do the same things I did in the dream. We are in North Carolina seeing the same buildings and scenery Zoey is awake now. I have a really bad feeling in my stomach. Then I see it. I see the stoplight. I turn into a gas station trying not to panic. I tell Zoey that I have to get gas and I give her the money to go in and pay for it. I figure if she is inside then nothing can happen to her. As I start to pump the gas, relief floods over me. Until I hear three gun shots. I tense up getting a really horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach again. Quickly I look over towards the door of the station and see two guys run out and get into a car. I run into the gas station looking for Zoey. A puddle of blood runs from the back of the store. Fear and remorse takes over me as I walk slowly, not wanting to admit whose blood I’m seeing. As I look down and see her face, I drop down to my knees and cry. I pick her up and sit her head in my lap holding her, trembling, and running my fingers through her hair while swaying back and forth. I stay sitting on the ground holding my life in my arms till the police and ambulance arrive.
I’m standing struck, staring at the casket. I can’t cry because I have been crying for the last four days. I hear the preacher’s voice while the casket is being lowered into the ground. That’s how I feel, like I’m in a bottomless pit. I hear other people’s cries and sniffles, I think to myself, “why?” I don’t understand why this is happening. I close my eyes and talk to her as if she is in my head, and I can just see images of the good times we spent together. My heart aches for her.
When I get home from the funeral I grab the same shirt of hers that I got in the dream and I rap it around my neck smelling the sweet perfume. I take some sleeping pills so I can hurry up and fall asleep, hoping that when I wake up all of this will just be a dream again.
I awake smelling the firewood, hearing the birds chirping and hearing the squealing of tires and the smashing thunder. I get up quickly and get my phone off the dresser. I call the hotel in South Carolina and cancel the booking. I sit thinking of what we can do for the honeymoon so Zoey won’t get hurt, somewhere far from North Carolina. I look through ads for hotels in California. Finding a great hotel that’s not much different than the one in South Carolina. I book it for ten days. The room has a hot tub, all night service, and a balcony where you can see the ocean. I nervously get ready for the wedding, and head out to go to the church.
I arrive at the church and see everyone huddled around in a big circle. Fear captures me as I park to see what is going on. I get out and my best man Anthony comes running up to me telling me to come quickly. That’s when I know something has happened. I run to where the people are and break through the crowd. I can’t believe it. I fall to my knees and look at Zoey as she says no words and just stars blankly into the darkness. Her stomach looks crushed and she only has one shoe on. I scream demandingly, “What happened?” No one says anything. I look straight at Anthony and ask the question again, “What has happened?” He looks down then back up and says, “it was a hit and run.”
I can’t explain how it feels to see the girl I love buried for the third time now. I just want to give up on life. I feel like no matter what I do, she will die. I stare at her casket as it’s being lowered down, down, down, down.
I am home starring at the gun I bought, holding just one bullet in my hand. I cock the gun back and place the bullet in the chamber. It’s taking everything I have to lift the gun to my head as if it weighs fifty pounds. I sit with it to my head. My hearts beating faster and faster with each breath I take. I hold her shirt and take one last smell of the sweet scented perfume. It makes memories of her play like a movie in fast-forward through my head. I take a deep breath, close my eyes… click…
I open my eyes and look at the gun. The safety is on! Staring at it I think to myself, “What am I doing? Zoey wouldn’t want me to do this.” These thoughts running through my mind are telling me not to do it, and that the safety being on is a sign that I’m not meant to die. I cry for the longest time holding the nine-millimeter in my hand, fighting to not pull the trigger. I think of Zoey. It’s like I can hear her voice telling me not to do it. I put the gun down on the ground and lie on the bed and doze off to sleep squeezing a pillow tight as if it were Zoey.
I hear the birds outside the window and smell the firewood that had been burning. I rise up out of bed as quick as I can, so quick that I get dizzy. I hear the tires squeal as I run to the other side of the bed trying to find the gun. It’s not there I go to the bathroom and see my tux. I sit thinking about what I can do so that Zoey will not die. When finally, I understand. In order for Zoey to live, I cannot marry her. I think about it for a while, then lie down, and stare up at the ceiling. I close my eyes as tears creep down my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, covering my head with the covers. I pray to God that Zoey will forgive me.