Cant get better than this.... | Teen Ink

Cant get better than this....

August 22, 2009
By romance_lover GOLD, Edmonton, Other
romance_lover GOLD, Edmonton, Other
12 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Nothing better than this...The lights, The rides, the constant rush of the people surrounding us...the guy.Everything was perfect. We walked, Hand in hand, my eyes skippign from ride to ride.
" Oh we have to go on this!" he screeched as he pulled me to the bumpercars. He immediately got into one and pulled me onto his lap.
" this isnt safe!" I whined only half kidding.
"Exactaly." he smiled as he hit the gas at break neck speed.A small girl screamed as 'we' slammed mercissly into her. The operator kicked us off after that cause we were a 'danger' to children. I was more than pleased to sink my teeth into a delishious corn-dog.
"I didnt know you were into this kinda stuff?" I asked,mouth still full. He didnt seem to mind. He replied back indifferently.
" i dont." He replied. "its only this great cause your here." he smirked. I answered in a fake voice,
"hun-ey since when are you so romantic?"
He looked down at me in mock-seriousness.
"Baby,Im whatever you want me to be whenever you want it" he dipped me low to the ground and kissed me gently before returning me to the ground. Although my head was somewhere else.His Plain white t-shirt fit well across his perfectly cut abs, well his worn out jeans hugged his waist comfertably.His almost black hair fell messily infront of his eyes...oh his eyes...painted on a beautiful canvas...the dark brown pouring emotion. His lips...begging for touch.I shook away the thoughts just in time to hear the screaming and feel myself being pulled closer to the stage.It was almost midnight now but we werent in a rush.The band belted out thier rebellious sound.He swayed to the music.Finally the beat slowed as the band launched into a ballad.He stepped closer and raised my hands to his shoulders then lightly placed his hands on my back. We were slow dancing. The beat quickened but we stayed the same, never speeding up..but never stopping...completly lost in the moment.He kissed me slowly and i couldnt be more thankful for such an amazing person in my life and couldnt wish for anything more. I pulled him into a tight hug as he stroked my hair as the first firework light in the perfectly still night sky.
"lets go, my Juliet." he whispered lightly in my ear. We found ourselfs at the ferris wheel. He smiled shyly at me as if approving he was allowed to go. I smiled back and we climbed in.For a while we didnt talk. We just held eachother and watched the explosion of colors across the sky.When we reached the top he just stared at me.
"What." I asked self-consiously.
"You are so beautiful" He told me.He looked at me deeply.It was my turn to stare.His Eyes Shawn with all the light in the world.I didnt know what to say. I managed:
"Your everything to me.Your my day, my night,my happiness, everything only occurs because your in my heart."
"Your everything to me and i couldnt live without you.it would be as if i was the last person alive."I couldnt sppek. I pulled him to me and kissed him as if id never get to again, as if there would never be another day or night.
"I love you." he whispered as the

Sky.Went.Dark <3

The author's comments:
I wrote this for my sister Destyni because she Loves a good romance story and i wanted to prove to her that i am capable! love ya des! I never put names in my storys because i want people to imagine...put themselves in the place of my charector and really feel the emotion. I hope you enjoyed.

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This article has 86 comments.


on Oct. 15 2012 at 2:56 am
JuliaRuby SILVER, Melbourne, Other
8 articles 0 photos 17 comments

Favorite Quote:
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land among the stars <br /> By Les Brown

omg i lovvvveeeee this...

WrightOrLeft said...
on Sep. 23 2012 at 4:21 pm
WrightOrLeft, Smyrna, Georgia
0 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Death isn&#039;t a peaceful release. It&#039;s a journey to hell. And trust me sweetie, it isn&#039;t fun.&quot; - Damon Salvatore

I enjoyed this thoroughly. You have this raw and talented feel to your writing. The story was beautiful and the plot was sweet and endering. You're young and still writing, that's good. Ignore them, I loved it.

on Sep. 17 2012 at 10:17 pm
romance_lover GOLD, Edmonton, Other
12 articles 0 photos 28 comments
I completely agree, this story was from two years ago, and the fact that people are still complaining about my spelling and grammer is hilarious. My writing has developed durasticaly since I published this story. 

GotSoccer19 said...
on Sep. 1 2012 at 8:16 pm
GotSoccer19, Dallas, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;A real athlete knows that there&#039;s no off-season.&quot;

I completely agree. You need to be sure to spell check and puncuate correctly before publishing. I found this hard to read. It was slightly shallow too... No worries, though!  --C

on Jun. 27 2012 at 12:27 am
kate12345me GOLD, Sydney, Other
11 articles 0 photos 69 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.&quot; - Thoreau<br /> &quot;Sometimes you&#039;re flush and sometimes you&#039;re bust, and when you&#039;re up, it&#039;s never as good as it seems, and when you&#039;re down, you never think you&#039;ll be up again, but life goes on.&quot;

I'm sorry but I don't see how this is good? You need to improve your spelling, grammar and punctuation drastically. Given, the plot line is good, but you won't get anywhere even with the best plot line if you can't actually write understandably. I started reading this and the grammar just completely threw me off. Please take this as constructive criticism, not offensively!

on Jun. 5 2012 at 10:04 am
RandomPoet SILVER, Apopka, Florida
9 articles 0 photos 36 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Life is like a box of chocolates you never know what your gonna get&quot;Forrest Gump<br /> &quot;Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away and going away means for getting&quot;Peterpan

This story is AMAZING i loved it !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


on May. 14 2012 at 11:32 am
Laxfender SILVER, Airmont, New York
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
You miss 100% of the shots you never take<br /> -Wayne Gretzky

Great story, im so jelly :) wish i could write like this

on Mar. 31 2012 at 5:27 pm
writer3499 GOLD, New Bedford, Massachusetts
11 articles 0 photos 196 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;it&#039;s impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might has well not have lived at all-in which case you fail by default.&quot;<br /> -J.K.Rowling

WOW I love this!!!!! This is so well written and the plot is perfect!! This is the best romance story I have ever read... i don' even know what to say!! WOW!!! Completly amazing!!! 

on Jan. 25 2012 at 11:30 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.&quot; - Anonymous <br /> <br /> &quot;Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.&quot; - Anonymous

Loved the plot line, but yo need to work on your grammar and dialogue. At times it was hard to tell who was speaking. Also try to make the transitions from setting to setting a bit smoother. It just seemed like you were jumping from place to place without any purpose. Keep it up though.

on Jan. 25 2012 at 2:05 pm
i-love-cupcakes, New York, New York
0 articles 0 photos 27 comments
gosh i loved it you are amazing i loved the ending and everything about the story great work...great job...your awsome i dont like the story i loved the story...i'm a writer my self but your BETER that ME...hope you are witing a nother story or you did so i can read it your great at writing and i liked the idea where we put are selfs in the charactors feelings...i cant stop reading it i would put this story a 100000000000000 stars...your welcome

on Dec. 12 2011 at 3:48 pm
Emilyourstruly BRONZE, Spring Grove, Minnesota
4 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life isn&#039;t about waiting for the storm to pass, it&#039;s about learning to dance in the rain.

Adorable ending! just the type of love stories i love!

on Dec. 12 2011 at 9:59 am
JasmineNoelle1 BRONZE, There Is No Need To Know This !!!, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
You never needed to change my darling you just need to have confidence in yourself to be yourself and not change for someone else.

This was a good story I like the imagery and how you expressed the emotions and stuff. But there was some wrong grammar other than that it was good.

on Dec. 12 2011 at 2:07 am
devikaarora GOLD, New Delhi, Hawaii
17 articles 0 photos 33 comments

Favorite Quote:
Dont tell me sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon !

Really nice !
And the best part bout it was... it was so realistic ! :)

on Nov. 20 2011 at 5:29 pm
rosebud4579 GOLD, Westfield, Wisconsin
11 articles 0 photos 7 comments
My favorite musical is Carousel and I was just watcing it when I read this story! It has the same themes as the musical and I LOVE BOTH!! good job!! 

on Nov. 20 2011 at 3:18 pm
traveler03 GOLD, San Juan, Texas
14 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Living is nothing. Dreaming is something.

Very romantic. Good details.

on Nov. 20 2011 at 9:03 am
Jappyalldayeveryday, Detroit, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in the blink of an eye

You had a nice ending, but there weren't really enough background details about their relationship or the characters. Also, nothing significant happened in the plot/story and there were lots of grammar/spelling errors.

TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Nov. 3 2011 at 11:43 am
TaurusGal GOLD, Hong Kong, Other
13 articles 25 photos 107 comments
If you have spare time, hope you can read my article, thanks =]"

TaurusGal GOLD said...
on Oct. 29 2011 at 11:29 pm
TaurusGal GOLD, Hong Kong, Other
13 articles 25 photos 107 comments
Well done... Really romantic.

on Oct. 29 2011 at 8:15 pm
_emilia_ SILVER, Somers Point, New Jersey
9 articles 3 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;If you&#039;re going through hell, keep going.&quot;

SO GOOD! I loved it

 


on Oct. 7 2011 at 6:14 pm
Ariel_Rosario BRONZE, Port Saint Lucie, Florida
1 article 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Be yourself, everyone else is already taken&quot; -Oscar Wilde

OH MY, this is awesome! I felt everything she was feeling and everything you said created an absolutely PERFECT image :) Great job!